I am beyond frustrated right now. My DS is four months old now and I have been interviewing for a few jobs. I am interested in one that is in my field (Psychology) and I would really like to take it. The hours are 8AM-4PM Monday thru Friday. Not too bad in my opinion. However, my mom is trying to make me feel guilty for being away from DS. She stayed home with me for 2 years when I was a baby, but she doesn't seem to understand that her situation was different.
Unfortunately, I live with her right now, so I have to hear her crap every day. DS was unplanned and I was on birth control; therefore, we didn't have a chance to establish a savings account for baby expenses. I was working a job that didn't provide any benefits. Maternity leave was unpaid and up to the discretion of the employer. I managed to put $3000 aside before I was put on leave for when baby arrived and I wasn't working, but that is gone now! OH works, but it is not enough to support us alone. We would like to move out because my mom puts stress on our relationship, but in order for us to do this, I need to work. I also have a lot of debt that I would like to eliminate.
I was laid off from my job in October, so since then, I have been looking for something. Finally now, I am getting calls back. My mom doesn't seem to understand that when I was a baby, my dad worked 2 jobs and could get unlimited overtime. OH gets salary and cannot work overtime. His hours are terrible, so he couldn't even get a second job if he tried. I was also adopted, so my parents were in their 30s when I was a baby and well-established with a house and my dad had an established career. I am going to be 23 this year. My situation is entirely different and the economy stinks. Good jobs are hard to come by and I feel like I'd be a fool to let one go. I don't want to work in retail or at McDonald's for $7.35 an hour when I have a college degree and am capable of much more.
I should add that I am also going to school 2 nights a week for my Master's degree, so 2 days out of the week, I wouldn't be home until 10PM. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just ranting, I suppose. Am I being selfish for pursuing my Master's and attempting to find work? I feel that me working would be beneficial to our family. I want to be able to provide DS with nice things and a nice education. My mom says there is more to life than nice things, which is true to an extent, but when you have to rely on others to put a roof over your family's head, I think it is time to start working towards independence. I do not like relying on others and my mom and I do not have a very good relationship to begin with.
I've spent every day with DS since he was born and if I am working and going to school, I will spend most nights and every weekend with him. My mom is making me feel bad, like I am deserting him to run after my dreams. I just want to provide the best for him. I feel like a loser already because I wasn't prepared for him. My self-esteem took a hit recently too when I called the billing department at the OB's office to find out why they are billing me when I have a second insurance (Medicaid) that they haven't billed yet. They told me that they didn't have a copy of the insurance card and it wouldn't matter if they did anyway because they don't deal with "your kind of people" and they would have turned me away if they knew I had it. I also had one of my mom's "friends" call me a bum because I'm a SAHM in my mom's house right now and I'm on "welfare"--I'm only on Medicaid, I refused cash assistance and food stamps because I don't need them. I'm not a leech and I would love to not have to rely on the government or my mom. I had to get Medicaid because my job didn't offer insurance and when I tried to BUY insurance thru the state, they told me I didn't make enough and I HAD to call Medicaid instead.
I just feel so stuck and worthless. If I try to better my situation, my mom makes me feel guilty. If I stay where I am, I am miserable and everyone looks down on me. Well, I guess rant over.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.
Unfortunately, I live with her right now, so I have to hear her crap every day. DS was unplanned and I was on birth control; therefore, we didn't have a chance to establish a savings account for baby expenses. I was working a job that didn't provide any benefits. Maternity leave was unpaid and up to the discretion of the employer. I managed to put $3000 aside before I was put on leave for when baby arrived and I wasn't working, but that is gone now! OH works, but it is not enough to support us alone. We would like to move out because my mom puts stress on our relationship, but in order for us to do this, I need to work. I also have a lot of debt that I would like to eliminate.
I was laid off from my job in October, so since then, I have been looking for something. Finally now, I am getting calls back. My mom doesn't seem to understand that when I was a baby, my dad worked 2 jobs and could get unlimited overtime. OH gets salary and cannot work overtime. His hours are terrible, so he couldn't even get a second job if he tried. I was also adopted, so my parents were in their 30s when I was a baby and well-established with a house and my dad had an established career. I am going to be 23 this year. My situation is entirely different and the economy stinks. Good jobs are hard to come by and I feel like I'd be a fool to let one go. I don't want to work in retail or at McDonald's for $7.35 an hour when I have a college degree and am capable of much more.
I should add that I am also going to school 2 nights a week for my Master's degree, so 2 days out of the week, I wouldn't be home until 10PM. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just ranting, I suppose. Am I being selfish for pursuing my Master's and attempting to find work? I feel that me working would be beneficial to our family. I want to be able to provide DS with nice things and a nice education. My mom says there is more to life than nice things, which is true to an extent, but when you have to rely on others to put a roof over your family's head, I think it is time to start working towards independence. I do not like relying on others and my mom and I do not have a very good relationship to begin with.
I've spent every day with DS since he was born and if I am working and going to school, I will spend most nights and every weekend with him. My mom is making me feel bad, like I am deserting him to run after my dreams. I just want to provide the best for him. I feel like a loser already because I wasn't prepared for him. My self-esteem took a hit recently too when I called the billing department at the OB's office to find out why they are billing me when I have a second insurance (Medicaid) that they haven't billed yet. They told me that they didn't have a copy of the insurance card and it wouldn't matter if they did anyway because they don't deal with "your kind of people" and they would have turned me away if they knew I had it. I also had one of my mom's "friends" call me a bum because I'm a SAHM in my mom's house right now and I'm on "welfare"--I'm only on Medicaid, I refused cash assistance and food stamps because I don't need them. I'm not a leech and I would love to not have to rely on the government or my mom. I had to get Medicaid because my job didn't offer insurance and when I tried to BUY insurance thru the state, they told me I didn't make enough and I HAD to call Medicaid instead.
I just feel so stuck and worthless. If I try to better my situation, my mom makes me feel guilty. If I stay where I am, I am miserable and everyone looks down on me. Well, I guess rant over.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.
