Mothers of 2 or more, how did you cope after new baby born?

[Geo2]

Hello, I'm just thinking of how it felt last time after giving birth and wondering how it will be having to look after 4 year old as well. I'm not living with my partner anymore (he's not allowed to come back since the police removed him for being abusive) So now totally unexpectedly going though this alone after all OUR plans. But that's ok its for the best, now I can relax emotionally, he needs help and I cant help him.
I'm planning a home birth so my daughter will be there the whole time and I'm just wondering how I'm going to cope looking after 2 and being exhausted from labour and breastfeeding and minimal sleep. Grandparents are most likely going to be good support but unfortunately I don't have much extra space in my house for them to stay very comfortably and I live a bit away from them too.
So anyway, how did you cope with your second arrival? How hard was it to adjust and when did you stop needing help from partner, family etc?

 

[Beee]

I have a daughter at 2 yo so will be interested in seeing the replies to this.
I'm sorry you are having to do this alone but you and your kids will definitely be better having one loving, stable parent than being around an abusive situation. I think like you say, call on grandparents and friends, and the more prepared you can be before the birth the easier things will be.
All the best to you hun
Xxx

 

[Firstbaby123]

I'm wondering the same, my son will be two years 10 months old when baby arrives, my partner works 6 days a week so I'm a little worried :/ I have a good family support system though so hopefully that will makes things a little easier. Hope all goes well for u x

 

[amanda111308]

I am curious to see responses on this too, my hubby isn't so good for night time wakes so unfortunately a lot of it will be on me... I'm not too worried because my mil who is absolutely lovely will be staying with is for a few weeks after the birth to help me adjust or catch up on any sleep I will need.

I am nervous about after she leaves though. I really want to be a good mommy of 2, I know I can do a good job with one but sometimes the idea of juggling 2 is daunting to say the least. My son is 2.5yrs old and very well behaved for the most part but he doesn't handle big changes so gracefully. A new baby is a HUGE change but I'm hoping to include him as much as humanly possible.

I was given advice from a mommy friend who had her second baby in July of this year and she recommended to get a doll for the big brother/sister that comes with a cloth nappy, a bottle, clothes etc... To try and teach them about all the great things you can do together to help new baby. I have purchased one last weekend and might pull it out today.

 

[Rickles]

I'm nervous as hell too - here's some tips I've had from friends and have started doing ...

Buy a doll and car seat / buggy etc. so first born can do everything with their baby as you do with the newborn

Keep firstborn involved with everything you are doing- So I've washed all the babies clothes and DD loves getting them out and looking at them(sometimes throwing them) around the room. She regularly pulls everything off the change table to see what's what - I let her satisfy her curiosity now so she's tried the creams (lanisoh!) played with the nappies and generally doesn't feel the baby's things are special or forbidden.

We put the bottle making machine out - she wants to try the milk (she can't she's allergic) but we talk about special baby milk (and the fact it's a bit yucky). Our little bottle refuser (of 14 months) did suddenly decide she wanted milk in a bottle - a newborn teat and 30 mins of frustration later - she was happy to have a sippy cup

We've practised being "gentle" with dolls and also "shhh" for baby sleeping. I also play with her holding her dolls like a newborn (God I sound bonkers) so she is used to me holding something else.

Otherwise I have started making her wait(!) 2-5 minutes for things so that she gets used to not having it immediately and doesn't directly associate that with the baby!

OH has started to put her to bed more, read stories etc. And I've been leaving them to "bond" for 2 hour blocks on the weekend - again so I can get out with the baby and she is used to it. My Mum similarly has been taking her for an hour here or there so she feels very at home at Nanna's house too.

xx

 

[MummyToAmberx]

It was 10x easier than i expected.

After birth of my first i was on a huge emtional rollercoaster, being parent for first time so many changes going on, so maybe unknown things ahead. I also felt physically sore for 6 weeks after the birth. I never had my partner around then as we lived apart, my mum only helped the first week.

When my second arrived (even though i much heavier!) Within hours of her birth i felt brilliant, i never felt like id even had a baby.
Also she was such a calmer baby, which i just got lucky and was only up twice in night from the beginning. My partner could 0nly take week off work, very much me and kids from the beginning he never did night feeds anyways.

All in all looking back it was easy as. Was 2yrs between them, actuslly more anxious about our third joining us than i was with the second but think thats down to fact my youngest is nearly 5 feel bit out of tune on newborn/baby stuff now lol.

 

[Lau88]

I had my baby 2 weeks ago so am still new to being a mum of two, my eldest turned 3 last week. Its been easier than I thought with two, only thing I find annoying is if I leave the room I have to take one of them with me. I trust my eldest not to do anything to the baby but accidents happen and id rather not leave it to chance. I have had help from my mum though as I had a c section and still can't lift my toddler.