Moving on. Adoption, just no adoption forum section.

[BobDog]

well we have made a huge desicion, we are moving on.

it's sad and almost something i feel i should grieve over.

i want to say a huge thank you to everyone here who has helped me through many of the hardships of LTTTC and the support you have all given when we were going through M/C's and the low times.

the sad part is that there is no adoption section in this website, so i guess i'll be having to move from here to another page. i am so sad to have to leave, but i hope to visit if you'll still have me.

xx

 

[zanDark]

there is an adoption section here

I wish you the best of luck on your journey

 

[readyformore]

Good luck
You should take the time to grieve. It is a loss.

I hope adoption happens quickly for you.

 

[NavyWife84]

Good luck! I think what you are doing is wonderful. While it is a hard decision, you are giving a child who really needs a loving home waht they need and might not otherwise have.

 

[scoobydrlp]

What a difficult decision. Good luck to you!!

 

[Lawgirl]

Good luck. As zanDark said there is an adoption section on this website, but www.adoptionuk.org has great boards as well (we considered going straight to adoption, but decided to try ivf first).

 

[BobDog]

thank you all for your kind words.

i did eventually find the adoption board. it doesn't seem to be to busy, but still, there are people that go on there and i will be having a chat i'm sure.

it was a decision we had been talking about for a while, but we wanted to hold off and give IVF a chance, but in the end, i started breaking down in tears every week because i've not been getting AF. it's been 6 and a half months since my last AF and when we are TTC it makes me mad at my body, and i can't have IVF until i lose 4 stones, but my weight is not shifting, regardless of seeking help and working with a dietitian, also working with a personal trainer friend of mine who out of the kindness of his heart has been working me like a donkey at the gym. and still i've not been loosing weight.

however, my hubby woke up one night only to find me raiding the fridge and stuffing my face, and apparently i was upset and angry that i was useless at being a woman! i had no idea any of this was going on, apparently i was sleep walking, cos as soon and graeme came to hug me i stood up and went to bed!! as though nothing happened, and promptly started snoring... so i guess that'd be the mystery solved over me not loosing weight.

it's obvious that this has been stressing me out more than i thought it was and i don't want to end up in an early grave for all the stressing i've been doing.

and yes, it's incredibly hard to let go of something you've been holding on to for 3 years!! i will be sneaking on to these parts to keep up with everyone and see how everyone is getting on.

xxx

 

[Ambydawn84]

JenBrem,
My heart goes out to you!!! Some child is going to be very very very lucky to be a part of your family!!!

 

[BobDog]

thank you.

 

[Amber3]

Dear Jen

I might come and have a look at that adoption forum too. We have also recently started the adoption process although we are still doing what we can to make it work biologically. here in Austria where we live the waiting time is insecure but maybe up to 5 years so I figured we might as well keep trying... We have been ttc since 2007 but honestly I am still learning new things about fertility that I have to try out. Am just now trying out a fantastic fertility (Low GI) diet for PCOs and it definately has an effect on me. I also read about a big study from the university of Surrey where 81% of infertile couples became pregnant only through life style changes and nutritional supplements.
Sorry about the rant
I wish you all the best and I really understand why you are grieving. It is not that you don't love the thought of an adopted child. It is only that there seems to be so many valuable things about being able to have biological children. For instance I always wanted a big family and never imagined that we would have a single child. But with adoption that may very well be the case.
Amber

 

[BobDog]

Amber 3,

you have hit the nail on the head with regards to the grieving part of going for adoption rather than IVF. as IVF was our next step, it just didn't sit right with me, though i was confident we would have become parents that way, i just knew in my heart that it would come with more heartbreak and hurt, i just don't think i could have coped with loosing anymore of our babies, no matter how early on it may be, they are still our babies.

but through grief comes hope, a new journey for us to follow through. it may take a year it may take 4 years, but we are a mum and dad who have been trying to fulfil our longing of having children to shower our love on to. even the telling offs!! lol

i always wanted a big family too, and thought that my number would be 6! but over the past 3 years of heartbreaks and loosing 6 babies... i'd be over the moon to have one. but i can't put myself through anymore.

i hope this makes sense and i truly hope i've not offended anyone by posting this.




xxx

 

[Amber3]

Dear Jen
I wish you all the best on the adoption journey.
I also imagined 4-8 children.
As for IVF I never wanted it. I find it unethical but really the succes rates with that method are so low and the price so high.
I guess we will meet in the adoption forum
Amber

 

[Glitter_Berrie]

I wish you the very best

 

[stellargaze]

Adoption is an amazing thing. Check out the Be My Parent website. We are giving it a few months of trying on clomid but for us adoption is the next step. Think of it this way: the child you were meant to have was born somewhere else, and fate will bring you together. Maybe that sounds strange, but it's what I've believed myself.

I feel that there is definitely a child for me, and if I can't bring it into this world, I will have to go and find it.
https://www.bemyparent.org.uk/public-profiles.html

 

[BobDog]

i am a member of be my parent, i registered a few months ago, because we were thinking about it and thought i'd sign up, also registered on BAAF. going to be chasing up on phonecalls tomorrow re: social worker and adoption applications.

thank you though, and you have such a wonderful way at looking at things.

xx

 

[stellargaze]

No problem and thanks Wish you lots of luck and happiness, and all the best for a speedy process!

 

[Care76]

Good luck with the adoption! Really, I thought I would miss being pregnant and having a bio child, but I couldn't have loved my boys more. Taking any child into your home and heart just heals your heart. Unfourtunetly, we had a very bad experience and I won't put myself through that agin, but for the most part it works out for the average AP. Your child is out there.

 

[Armywife84]

It sounds like you've been under a lot of stress if you've been sleep walking/sleep eating..

Congratulations, on coming to that tough decision. Nonetheless, it's still a great one. I'm happy that you are nearing the end of your TTC..that alone is quite an accomplishment. Here's to a speedy adoption process !

P.S. If you find yourself bored over there, please pop back over here with an update on your progress! Good Luck!

 

[BobDog]

thank you all for your encouragement! it means the world to me. and yes, army wife i surly will be popping over every now and then, to see how all the wonderful people i've met are getting on.

xxxx

 

[urchin]

I have also started looking into adoption - we are currently on the waiting list for donor eggs but with the cost of treatment we have set ourselves a limit of 2 goes. However, from what I've been reading they don't consider you for adoption while you are still exploring IVF so I guess I have to travel my current journey to its end - whatever that may be.

I did have a thought on the sleep walking/ snacking front though... Through work I was on an assistive technology course this week and we
were shown motion sensors that can be set at night - when you walk past them they go off. You can set them up to play you a message 'step away from the fridge - put your hands behind your back!' or to alert someone else (if your partner would be up for helping)

Just thought I'd mention it - for if the sleepwalking is causing you stress!