Mummy guilt - 3 kids

[superfrizbee]

I have three wonderful kids aged 5, 3 and 3 months. They have their moments, but for the most part are great children. love them to pieces! My 3 month old is very easy too (bar not great sleeping for the last few weeks) and has just slotted in to life. It really feels like he's always been here, he just belongs.

But sadly it doesn't stop the mummy guilt, which I'm very prone to. My middle child has mild cerebral palsy and although he is doing wonderfully he still has physio, occupational therapy and speech therapy. It's all done through play which is great, but I feel so bad at having little time to get the playdoh out and do the therapy games, or take him to gymnastics because I have his baby brother to juggle too. Sometimes it feels like I get none of his therapy needs in.

I also feel bad for the baby who gets carted everywhere. In the mornings when we're getting ready for school he is fed and changed then popped on his play mat while I dash about getting his sister, brother and I all ready. My dh works long hours and isn't around to help in the morning or evening and I feel poor baby gets ignored for what feels like long periods of time. Then he gets whisked out of the door and falls asleep in the pram for his nap. It's like he gets very little of my time with so many different needs to juggle.

Anyone else find the same? Just good to have a little vent...

P.S. Oh the washing! My house is a state!! But that's another story.

 

[LoraLoo]

Absolutely. We have 6 ranging from 1 to 17. I feel like i never stop but never really get much done?! My days seem to be spent dressing kids, dropping them off at 3 diff schools/college and picking them all back up at different times and the baby just has to be dragged along whether it's nap time or not!
It is hard but we can only do our best and it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job to me especially catering for your middle ones extra needs x

 

[lau86]

I have 3 and often feel guilty at the lack of one on one time. They don't know any different though and really love each other. I don't have a child with cerebral palsy but if his therapists are happy with him I wouldn't worry.

 

[laura109]

Ahh bless you. It's so hard getting the balance over here too. I'm expecting my second baby any day and I have had sooo much mum guilt already. My dd is almost 3 and she just wants mummy to play. But mummy is in too much pain to get down in the floor. Plus I'm tired. Plus the house work is always there as you will know!!! I keep telling myself once babies born. We will go out again. The weekends we will go out and have fun. I'll be energetic again. But then I feel the fear that I won't be able to enjoy this one as dd takes up so much of my time already. She won't to to bed the last two months unless we lay on her bed with her. She used to go at 8 but now it takes a couple of hours to get he asleep and sneak back out. She then comes into our room in the early hours to get in our bed. All this fills me with dread. I just have this image of not being able to get the baby fed and us all back to sleep and the toddler being wide awake every time the baby cries.

Sorry I just kinda vented my own fears back at you.. But I feel like we all feel the same. I know a lot of people like my sister in law... They have there mums in tap doing everything to help them but I don't have any help whatsoever. Therefore everyday and everything I do I'm doing it myself. That's what you have to keep telling yourself. You have given your children siblings to grow up with. That's such a special gift to them. Your the reason they are fed and clothed and safe. Your the reason your little boy goes to get the support he needs. The playdoh is rarely out here too because it's messy and gives me another job. Most parents are the same. I think social media makes us think everyone else has a perfect house and time to be sat all happy with one little thing out making treasured memories but i think it's usually staged. The mess is behind them. It probably only lasted ten mins before the kid got bored lol.

Just keep going. Things will change every few months and before you know it your baby will be playing on the floor and your other children will be playing with the baby and you will see they are all happy and think your the greatest mummy ever.

Sorry for the long post xx

 

[erinrose07]

Mom guilt is the worst joy-sucker I've ever experienced. We worry about everything we aren't doing and it makes it so we aren't even present half of the time.
Jesus said it best,
Luke 12:25-31
25 "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[a]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"

Be careful with this guilt...I had a mental breakdown over it and spent a week in the hospital
Know that you are enough. Know that your children don't know the hardships of life that we know and the emotional pain that we know from life experiences, (at this young age). At this age, you can bet that they're happy to just be with you and they are most happy when they see you smile and hear you laugh with them. They don't see or know the expectations you have of being a mother. All they really need is to be loved by you. And guess what? A wise doctor and a wise pastor both told me, it is okay that your second child has the lot of "the second child" for their whole life. That's his/her lot in life. Same goes for your 1st and third child. They don't know any other lot, because it's the only lot they are in! I hope that makes sense...Take care of yourself and just snuggle those babies if you're too tired to play. It will count more than you know.