My 2 year old bitten at nursery

[1948LC]

I picked my daughter up from private nursery today and the manager ushered me into a room and told me she'd been bitten on the face by a 2 year old boy. Apparently they were happily playing together in a hut outside and he bit her. The manager said he is teething and really seemed to play it down. Tbh I wasn't really happy with what the manager had said and that they are not really allowed to tell them off. I said they should be taught wright from wrong. I also noticed last week that my daughter had a bruised shape bit mark on her arm which nursery didn't tell me about I just couldn't be sure.

What would you do? Any advice? I really don't want her to go back but I go to work!!

She also had an accident a few weeks ago when a little boy pushed her over and she cut all under her eye!!

Many thanks!

 

[kealz]

Hi

I have a little one, similar age, also at nursery. I would feel the same as you in your position and I think it's wrong that the staff can't at least tell the other child that it's wrong.

I would request that the incidents are written down (which they should be anyway), that the other child be wanted that it's wrong/naughty/hurts, and I would want to know whether it's happened to others or if my child is being targeted.

Biting is, unfortunately, a behaviour which can happen when language skills are limited and the child is struggling to convey or process an emotion. My child, I must admit, has been guilty of this in the past. But at 19 months old, he understands 'no biting, biting hurts!', I remove him from the situation at which point he cries but then I know he knows he's done wrong.

If this is continuously happening to your child, and if it's breaking the skin then I would make an official complaint. Every child has the right to feel safe. The fact that the other child is not told off/has not had needs met teaches neither of them about social justice, fairness and empathy.

 

[SRTBaby]

My Lo was bitten 3 times by a 2 year old before we threatened to take him out of the day care.
The first time it happened we hoped that is was a one time incident, I was one of those kids that use to bite others, my 2 other sisters did too. But after the second bite we needed something done, when he did it again the daycare lady decided she didn't want to lose our son and would rather let go of the other boy.

There is a new biter now but my LO is older and he knows how to protect himself.

 

[Scottish mum]

All the incidents should be recorded by the staff! My lo goes to a private nursery and has fallen and been involved in a few things I've been angry about especially his health! My lo is prone to bad/severe croup and I ask that the nursery tell me if there a bad outbreak of flu like viruses now I know this sounds ott as nursery a have bugs but they fail to tell me! My lo also fell from a cloning frame which he can't get on himself!! He fell onto his head and they tried to Pam it off saying we only call if there an injury followed by oh look at his head ( big bruise) that they failed to see!! So I understand your annoyance !!

I'm thinking about perhaps talking to them you should to x

 

[jodilee6]

Do you not get an accident form?

We get them for any bump or scrape regardless of if another child has been involved or not. Also I wouldn't be too happy with the not telling off, in the nursery my guy goes to they let me know if he's had any bad behaviour and also what concequence came with it.

He went through a horrible pushing phase and it was really reassuring for me to know that the nursery was dealing with it in a way I was happy with, they certainly can learn right from wrong at 2 years old.

If I were you I'd have another word with the manager if you're not happy with the response you received after you've had time to process it all

 

[jd83]

Unfortunately, at that age, biting does happen from time to time, especially if the child is unable to verbalize very well yet. I had a biter for a few months when my oldest was around 1 yr old.

Having said that, just because it happens from time to time doesn't make it okay! The daycare should not be offering excuses such as teething, etc as reasons why its okay for the child to bite, they should be offering what they will be doing to discourage it happening again. When my son went through the phase, our sitter talked with me and with the parents of the child that was bitten (well,actually the biting went back and forth. Sometimes my child got bitten too out of nowhere) about possible triggers for it, how we'd like it handled, etc. We talked about what we'd like done if it happens again as far as discipline. I told her I wanted him immediately removed from the situation, told "no biting", showed nice motions, like gentle stroking, etc. We talked about intervening and separating the children if it appeared they were beginnning to get annoyed with each other, to stop it getting to the point of biting. Doing nothing is not a solution, and will not stop it happening again, so your daycare definitely need to amend what they are doing.

 

[1948LC]

Yes I did get an accident form id forgotten to add that in initial post. I have spoken to them again this morning and they are saying this little boy is usually very well behaved and again harped on about him teething. They have also given me a formal letter stating my concerns and that they follow the behaviour policy and that the situation is being monitored and they have interventions in place to reduce further incidents so I suppose I can't ask fairer than that! Hopefully the situation will resolve quickly.

Thanks for all your input. X

 

[annanouska]

you should get a form or sign an accident book for any incidents.

Having a biter is awful. I went through 8 months of this, fingers crossed wea through it these days but when teething my almost 2 year old will bite. It is not an excuse its the truth. He can't speak and gets in gat pain and frustration so will bite. When he teeths I tell them right away so they can keep an eye on him. He doesn't go biting all day but if he is getting very distressed and maybe a child tried to play etc he would.

Previously he bit constantly. I went to no toddler groups etc and always told him off. He had no speech and still doesn't and u der standing was near enough non existent at the time. We worked so hard with nursery to get the triggers and ventually months on it settled.

I would be so upset for people he bit and it is the worst thing ever to be the mummy of a biter. Please don't think so badly of the little boy, he is only two

Hope your lo is feeling better x

 

[joeyjo]

When my kids got bitten at nursery I was just glad it wasn't then biting TBH! It happens, as long as it wasn't very frequent and always the same kid then I'm not too concerned.

 

[lillyttc]

This has happened to my daughter when she was just one. There were many bad bites on her lower face, the first bite had cut the skin and it was really bad for months. I had posted a thread then in this forum asking about marks as I was worried. Luckily there are no noticeable marks now just as many in this forum assured me at that time.

 

[londonangel]

I would make a complaint. It's true that sometimes children bite each other - Eleanor has been bitten twice at nursery - but the nursery staff should be explaining to the child (the biter) that what they have done is wrong and they should also be informing the other child's parents. If a child continually bites, then they should be excluded (most children do not, I don't think, continually bite). If your child is coming home with injuries you have not been informed of, you should definitely report that to the nursery - my daughter once came home from nursery with a ten centimetre long scratch (a deep, red, nasty scratch) on her arm and the nursery staff told me nothing about it. The following day I phoned the manager about it and she went and saw Eleanor (who was at the nursery) and she agreed that I should have been told. If you are not happy, definitely speak to the nursery.