My Amazing Delivery (October 30, 2013) - Long

[jennifer.lee]

I've been meaning to check in with you guys, but things went a million miles an hour after the birth and they've just started to settle down a LITTLE. lol

So you can read my pre-birth story here, which explains why I had to deliver at 34 weeks.

Okay, so I went in the operating room at 7 AM, and I had a mild panic attack once they put the spinal in. My body went numb, and since I wasn't used to that, I mildly panicked. They put something (??) in my IV, though, and I settled down. Two days beforehand, my doctor had mentioned a Jimmy Buffett song to me, and I said I didn't know who that was. He said I made him feel old, lol. So IN THE MIDDLE of the delivery, he played Margaritaville, and he said, "Jennifer, this is Jimmy Buffett," and I said, "Oh, the guy with all the restaurants!" Everyone cracked up.

So the delivery was HARD. My fibroid tumors put up a fight. Midway through, the doctor said he was trying as hard as he could to keep my uterus. The tumors were EVERYWHERE. The worst part was, my sweet baby's head was caught between two of them. I am STILL trying to get over that guilt. I feel HORRIBLE. In the end, he saved the uterus but had to move EVERYTHING around, which caused complications.

Back in my room, I learned that my intestines and bladder got temporarily paralyzed during the c-section, since everything had to be moved around. They had to monitor me every hour throughout the first night, and after TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, everything kicked back in. I was crazy worried, and the worst part was, I couldn't eat or drink anything, even a sip of water or a piece of ice, the whole time. Then I had to be on liquids only for a while. >_<

So my baby (Breelyn) is doing AMAZING! She is such a little fighter! She was 4 pounds 12 ounces and 17 inches at her birth. She was only on oxygen for four hours and hasn't been back on it since. She is now taking my breast milk from a bottle and is away from the heat source now and in a NICU bassinet. I can possibly take her home in about two weeks!!! I'm so excited!!! I cry a lot over the fact that I have to leave her there, but I know it's for the best! I'm also going through a lot of guilt over her being so perfect and me causing the early delivery. She did everything she was supposed to do, and my body didn't meet her halfway. Plus, there's the whole thing about my tumors trapping her head. I'm slowly getting over that, though, because deep down, I know I'm not at fault. It's the awful tumors.

So, that's my story about the best day of my life--the day my precious and amazing miracle was born!!!

 

[AussieBub]

I'm sorry to hear the delivery was difficult and traumatic for you. But don't beat yourself up over it, you had no control over the tumours and you couldn't have done anything to prevent the early arrival of your daughter. But she's here now and doing well and soon she'll be able to go home with you and enjoy lots of love and cuddles. She doesn't blame you for the tumours or the early arrival so you shouldn't blame yourself either.

Congratulations on your little girl, you're both very strong young women and you've gone through hell and come out on top. All the best for the future.

-AussieBub

 

[ama]

What an amazing journey you have both been on and I'm so glad the outcome was good . Don't feel guilty. You did the best you could and it sounds like she is thriving well done xx

 

[Dubibump]

No guilt please! No no no no no! Your body has grown another human being, how amazing and incredible you are, how wonderful your body is! The fact you needed help with delivery is fine, you live in a country where that's possible. How wonderful!! Don't let guilt, or any other negative emotion get in the way of what your body has created. You are AMAZING! Enjoy your beautiful baby xxx

 

[whittnie117]

I am SO so so glad they were able to save your uterus and deliver your baby girl. It's great that she is doing well and will get to go home soon with you. So happy for you. I hope you heal quickly and baby continues to do well. Congratulations.

 

[Perplexed]

Don't feel guilty! You can't control these things. I'm so sorry the birth was traumatic. But your little girl will be home with you soon congrats!

 

[Blob]

Congratulations on your healthy little girl and I'm so glad you came through that ok. Don't worry about your baby, you made the right decisions and she is healthy and happy, she will never remember this. A soon as you have a child you will feel guilty about something, for now are upset because you feel like you didn't do what you should, soon you will feel guilt for not knowing she had a wet nappy or that it leaked or that you had to leave her longer in the carseat on a journey, later it will be for shouting or losing your temper... you are doing brilliantly but if you didn't feel that guilt you wouldn't be doing your job properly

 

[vtjess423]

I'm glad to hear that both you and your little girl are doing well. As the other's have said, there's no reason to feel guilty; you did nothing wrong. You gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that will be home with you soon. I wish you all the best!

 

[jennifer.lee]

Thank you so much, everybody! *hugs*

It's so great to come here and have this kind of support! I'm sorry I haven't checked in in a while. I go to the NICU everyday to see my sweet baby. They are talking about her coming home in a few days to a week! I'm so excited and happy!

I'm doing much better myself! Hopefully recovery won't be too long, and my baby will be home with us!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations! Please don't feel guilty. Births often don't go the way we want them to but there's nothing you could have done, the main thing is your baby has arrived! Hope you're able to bring your baby home soon