My best friend hates the name I picked!

[Squiggy]

How do you handle it when your best friend hates and mocks the name you chose for your baby?
To say that she's hurting my feelings at this point is a gross understatement. Most recently she gestured like she was calling a dog using the name I picked for my baby.

No one else has a problem with the name, everyone likes it. But my "best" friend says there's a reason why it's not overly used. She has no children and doesn't plan for any. But her "strong" opinion is starting to make me angry. What should I do?


ETA: LilMiss, it's sad, because she HAS put me off with the name. Her constant discontent with it got me rethinking and even viewing the name more negatively. I don't think that's fair! We're adults! I'm 35, she's 40! This is so childish. I never expected such a reaction, let alone from my #1 friend. It just hurts.

ETA: Onetwothree, the name this post is about was Phoebe. I know it's uncommon and I know that it hasn't gotten many votes in my polls. But it just felt like the right name. Since then, however, we found we are actually having a baby boy. Now I told people I have Nicholas picked out but since have fell in love with the name Keaton. But I do NOT plan on telling anyone about Keaton as a prospective name because of how my friend acted over Phoebe.

pinkpickle, I think you're right about her feeling that she has place to feel so strongly. But she's not considering my feelings in it. It should be obvious to her that I picked a name I love whatever the reasons. She's not generally hurtful toward me about anything, I'm usually the "honest" one but I don't go overboard like she has with this. Loathing the name is one thing, mocking it is crossing a line in my opinion. I just have gone from hurt to angry about it.

Thank you everyone! I appreciate the support.

 

[JJKCB]

tell her exactly where to go...

or explain to her why she cant say stuff like that because its rude, point out that her opinion frankly doesn't matter when it comes to your child and you would never be so rude and hurtful to her, sometimes friend blur boundaries and expect they can get away with everything but if you dont squash stuff like this early they will think its there place to give there 'opinions' on everything (and of course there way must be right lol)

 

[LilMiss_91]

Totally agree with PP. My best friend was a bit scathing towards mine and OH's original name list, laughed at quite a few and told me I *can't* call my baby that. But it sounds like your friend is being worse!
It's your baby so you call them what you like! If she wants to be in charge of choosing a name then she could have one of her own!
Your name, your choice, if she doesn't like your choice then that's just too bad but it really has nothing to do with her. Just don't let her put you off the name x

 

[onetwothreebp]

What's the name?

 

[GoldieLocs]

How Rude.

I would tell her where to go. Don't give her the satisfaction of changing the name. if you like it use it.

 

[Leesy]

If you like the name use it. Tell your friend you no longer want to hear her opinion as you find it upsetting and rude.

 

[MariposaTam]

I don't understand how people can be so rude. My best friend chose a name I didn't particularly agree with for her baby boy but I never once told her I didn't like it, I knew her heart was set on it so why make her feel bad? I was polite about it and let it be, after all its her little boy! I know her family gave her some grief, but in the end came around to it and she was and is still happy with her choice. I would maybe let your friend know why you love the name as much as you do-my friend liked the name she chose because she felt it was a strong name and she wanted that for her little one. What could anyone reply to that? I'm sorry that you are being made to feel so terrible. Try not to take it to heart, after all, we are all different and it would be boring if everyone loved all the same things

 

[bassdesire]

WTF are you serious?!?!?!

Tell her to go to hell!!!! That's nt something annnnny friend would do. Maybe once yap friend would say. Hmmmm it's ok....

Anything other than that I'd be so mad!!

 

[pinkpickle]

Best Friends have a tendency to believe that their opinion should be the most important to you. But they're wrong. The only opinions which matter are you and your spouse's.
Is your friend always cruel and hurtful to you? This doesn't strike me as "friendly" behavior. Regardless, it's unacceptable, and you need not tolerate it.

We are choosing incredibly traditional family names for our unborn child and most of the names on the current list are going to be incredibly unappealing to almost everyone. But we are set on staying with family names traditional to our two heritages, no matter how badly people may react to our choices.

Tell your friend her behavior is hurtful and if she doesn't like the name, she needn't voice it aloud, as it is none of her business.

Shame on her. She's far too old for such childish behaviors.

 

[Bonnie11]

Me and OH are not telling anyone the name that we pick, not even family. I don't want anyone to say anything negative or put me off it and I find that once your baby is here and you say 'this is ...' people won't say that they hate the name! I think before the baby is born people think that it is up for debate and that they can get you to change your mind, once it's here everyone gets on with it.
Agreed with PP, if you like it stick with it, I haven't like some of my friends baby's names but I would never tell them, plus once they are here everyone will get used to the name! X

 

[Proserpina]

Tell your friend that if she doesn't like it, she should go get laid, make her own baby, and name it what she wants. Tell her it sounds like she needs to get laid, anyways.

BTW, the Phoebe of the Bible (Rom. 16:1-2) is called a prostatis (lit. "woman set before/over others," colloquially "benefactor") and a diakonos (deacon). Many churches have begun to open their diaconates to women because of this reference. That's freakin' cool no matter how you slice it. So if you like the name, stick with it. It's of noble origin.

 

[caandii]

Wow ur friend is being very insensitive. Personally I think phoebe is a wonderful name, it's not too plain, it's nice and unusual don't let this 'friend' put you off

 

[HHenderson]

Love it! Everything thinks our baby girls name is weird and do not like it but I QUICKLY tell them to shove it and not to say another negative thing about it. So I stopped telling people altogether until its official.

 

[daneuse27]

Love what Prosperina said! That makes it an awesome name.

Your friend is being very rude, and I would tell her to shut up. Phoebe is a very cute, bubbly pretty name. If you love it, go for it! Being uncommon is a plus as well.

 

[spacegirl]

She's jealous!!! can't you see that?

She may say she doesn't want children but perhaps she can't have any!?

cx

 

[phoebemum]

What a horrid thing to say to you when it's your baby!!

My daughter's name is Phoebe hehe and although I sometimes get the feeling people think it's a little unusual, in the main, people have commented on the fact it's a beautiful name.

I see you're having a boy but if you do have a girl, I wouldn't cross it off your list just because people don't like it.

I am going with a name this time that family put me off last time. I still love it 3 years later and they'll just have to like it or lump it!!

 

[Dragonfly]

Some best mate that is. And I wouldnt worry about it. In a decade she may not even be around anyway or less than that to care about what your kids name is. Any supportive best friend would support you on names not tear them apart. I know how much a turn off it can be as my own mum tore names down on me so I never tell any one name choice any more.

 

[Sarahkka]

Phoebe is absolutely lovely. Stick to it! I know several incredibly cute, sassy little girls named Phoebe - it's a great one!

I agree with all the other posts: your friend is behaving very badly. She should be ashamed of herself, quite frankly.
I kept my name choices quiet until the baby(s) were here. I shared a few possiblities with close friends and family, but otherwise, I did not feel like giving other people the opportunity to spoil something special to me. They are far far less likely to dare say such things once the baby is born and named.

 

[liz1985]

That is SO rude! I actually love the name phoebe! I would seriously tell her where to go, she's not acting like a very good friend. I didn't like the name my friend chose but I never said anything, it's her choice, and now he's here, he suits his name, and it's grown on me. I do understand that it's put you off, even tho you shouldn't let it, it's hard not too. I would just plain tell her, how hurt you are, and you don't want any more comments on the name at all. Then take time to think if you still like it of not, and if you do use it, no matter what anyone says!!

 

[ZoeyKaspian]

Your daughter, you and your husband/fiance/boyfriend's choice. Not everyone else's. A lot of people don't like our name choices. If she doesn't like the name Phoebe, great. She doesn't have to name her daughter that when she has one (if she does). I like Phoebe. It has a lot of spunk.