my boy is the naughty one in year r :(

[beatnick]

Hi ladies. I must say its been moons since I posted on here but I'm am really in need of some support at the moment.

My son is an august baby and started school in sept. Lovely school. I am a teacher (6th form) and a parent gov.

His behaviour is really up and down. Mainly play time and lunch. Silly stuff like pushing and getting into scrapes with others. He fairs better in the classroom.

He has to have a sticker chart at school to remind him to behave at play time and lunch. This has helped and we are reinforcing this with a home reward system.

I just feel so anxious about pick up time..I feel like I'm always being pulled aside or asked to wait for a chat.

We have toughened up on him at home and reinforce what his teachers are saying.

I just feel so rubbish. We are nice normal people and we don't push or spit or do anything he is doing!!! I am a teacher and I think I am mounting pressure on myself and wondering what I am doing wrong.... Perhaps I'm just a rubbish mum.

Also feel like all the other kids are angels. Parents evening Facebook updates made me want to punch someone!!!

I desperately want him to do well at school and its killing me that he is having to be closely watched and have special charts.

Maybe I set too high expectations on him. Then crush myself with them!

Any experiences??

 

[hattiehippo]

Not experience of being naughty in school but my DS is in Reception too and I'm also a teacher - I used to teach primary and now work in special needs teaching.

My DS is angelic in school but he has mega tantrums when I pick him up - he's had 4 in the past 3 weeks now. I had to drag him home screaming and kicking yesterday because he'd lost his gloves and there were no where in the classroom. I'm waiting to get called in for a parenting talk because there is no way people in the school haven't heard him kicking off!

It sounds like you're doing everything you can if you're backing up the school at home. Hopefully it will just be something he grows out of as he gets older. But I know how horrible it is when it's your child who's being the difficult one

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

The other children are not angels trust me! Xxx My son was very similar in year R but now he hates people messing about during school, he is also a august baby x

 

[RachA]

I have a very similar experience as you. My son is also an Aug birthday. He was also the one that pushed etc. For us this was a shock as, although he had always been hard work, he'd never been a child that pushed etc.
we found that the main reason it happened was because he was just so so tired plus he was so young and didn't know how to express his tiredness and frustrations and it came out in hitting and pushing.
I'd say that by the time he started in year 1 he had totally calmed down. It does help to have the teachers on your side though.

I think maybe you are pressurising yourself too much. Just keep reinforcing that he shouldn't be doing that. But also focus on the good things he's doing in school too and also find a way of helping him deal with his emotions-it may be as simple as getting him to go and talk to his teacher and say he feels 'x'.

 

[OmarsMum]

Not all "angel" children are easy going!

My DS is an "angel" at school, he is also in reception. But he is not easy going, he doesn't mess around in class, he is so quiet and well behaved at school, but he also needs extra attention from his teachers. He doesn't always do what he's asked to do in school, he gets bored easily. He also clings to me some mornings and he ignores other children when they ask him to play with them.

His key teacher sends me an update almost everyday, he doesn't stand for himself when other children hit or bother him, he ends up miserable without speaking up or defending himself. The HOD had a talk with him to help him speak up!

At home he is all over the place and he has some anger episodes when he doesn't get his way.

Not only "naughty" children require the extra attention at school, even those who are not into trouble might require extra attention and their parents are always in touch with schools and are following a school plan at home.

He is a November born so one of the oldest children in class, he is more mature than his peers and this is another challenge for us and his teachers. Many activities they do in class are for "babies" according to him and he doesn't understand why he has to do them.

I know how you feel but for different reasons, I sometimes wish he was easy going at school and he just fits in.

 

[Natsku]

Being an August baby he's probably just not as socially and emotionally mature as the older children so it looks like he's the naughty one when probably he just needs a little longer to mature.

 

[beatnick]

Thanks ladies. I think I feel like no one else has the same issues. I'm sure other kids aren't Perfect but sometimes I feel like its just me being pulled aside. Sometimes I wait to pick him up last so I can soothe my self by seeing others being pulled aside. Silly I know but people only tell you how great their kids are... I could do with some truthful stuff!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

We will always focus on our child more and worry. Dont worry xx

 

[Boomerslady]

Oh hun you definitely aren't alone!! I got called in because he bit someone in week two. He was on a sticker chart for months and also went to a lunch club for kids who misbehaved in the playground. It's been a long battle but he's finally improving. Trust me though I get that 'oh god please tell me he's behaved' feeling when I go to pick him up.

But obviously I don't go about sharing that on here lol. But me there definitely are kids like yours!! One boy in his school rubbed soap in a a boys eyes on purpose. His mums a teacher, she was mortified! It happen

 

[motherofboys]

My DS3 started school in September, we haven't had a smooth ride. DS 1 and 2 are both little angels at school so this is all new territory for me, having the teacher come out at the end of the day to have a weird about him. It's all silly things like he won't be quiet at the times he needs to be quiet, also being #3 of 4 boys he is used to a lot of rough housing. My older 2 have always just known that is ok at home but not so much with other kids. He doesn't get that, no matter how much I explain, I don't think he knows his own strength. He isn't nasty or a bully, he never intends to hurt anyone. It's usually his best friend, they play super hero games together and he gets carried away and knocks him over. He has also been in trouble a few times for fighting with older kids. DS1 is tall for his age, there are not many kids bigger than him in the school, so ds 3 is not bothered by how big they are because as far as he is concerned they are only as big as his brother. The times he had been in trouble for fighting have all been cases of year 6 children bullying his friends in year r and him jumping in to defend them. Like the year 6 who kept tripping his friends up then picked him up and rocked him like a baby while his friend struggled to get away. Ds 3 marched up to him and punched him.
Not necessarily the right way to deal with it but hardly him being a bad kid.
It's embarrassing though, I always get that sinking feeling of 'what's he done this time' when I see the teacher heading my way. She does say he is selling down a little now. He is a March baby so just turned 5 now, I'm hoping he continues to settle over the next term so that when he goes into year 1 I don't have the same thing.

 

[alibaba24]

dont beat yourself up. other parents will be getting pulled in too but you wont get to know about it!

my dd is in pre school. she came home with a slip the other day saying she bumped her head on a brick....really?!

she told me a boy threw it at her head she even told me the name and everything and that he was told not to

so just remember that just because you dont know about it doesnt mean its not happening