My breast-feeding journey will soon be over. :(

[Miss406]

Feeling so miserable at the moment.
My baby is 7 weeks old on Friday and I am letting my milk dry up as we speak.

1) I can't seem to satisfy him, even when I had full flow he would have both breasts then happily take 5oz of formula (night time formula feed was introduced to help his hunger)

2) He has thrush and I too have it. We are both on medication after seeing a doctor on Monday.

I feel so sad, this is the earliest I have ever given up breast-feeding. My other children have always finished a feed and fallen asleep on the breast and this little boy just seems so hungry all the time. Sunday he wasn't put to the breast at all. Monday evening once medication was started I put him to the breast, still very painful. Yesterday he had slight feed on both breasts to keep the flow but deep down I know this pain isn't achieving anything. Inevitably I just can't satisfy him.

I feel so sad, It's getting to the point when my fiance is home I give him the feed because I can't bring myself to give him the formula myself. I feel like I have failed him as a Mother and I am harming him by giving him formula. I was so engorged on Sunday I was bent over the sink and milk dripping down the plug hole and I was just sobbing my heart out. I have tried using my breast pump (Tommee Tippee electric one) but even that really hurts and as I say my supply has just dramatically dropped already.

Does anyone know what I can do to ease the emotional side of stopping breast feeding? Thanks

 

[annio84]

I don't know I'm sorry but I just wanted to say you've done really well to feed him at all so don't feel bad. Formula isn't harming him, you're doing what's best for your baby.

 

[cflower04]

It doesn't sound like you're ready to give up? If your not, you can still get the help you need to continue... not saying it'll be easy but maybe worth a shot?! If you are indeed ready to stop, know that you've given your baby a great start by feeding for 7 weeks. Maybe you could speak to a counsellor?!

 

[Miss406]

I'm really not ready to give up breast feeding! I pumped earlier on one breast and got 2 oz out and briefly fed him on the other side before the pain got too intense and I had to stop. He then had the pumped milk followed by 3oz ish of formula. I look into his eyes and feel so sorry for giving it to him. I wanted to breastfeed for over a year this time. I just don't know how to conquer the pain! xx

 

[MommyJogger]

Where are you located (is there a IBCLC near you trained in diagnosing ties)? Was there pain before the thrush or is the pain from the thrush?
You can push through this. You have my absolute promise that you and your body are capable of doing this. I don't know if you've made previous posts, but if everything was going well until recently (no extreme pain, lots of wet and dirty diapers, no nipple damage), this is just a good, old-fashioned, big, annoying growth spurt that happens to be accompanied by a sucky bout of thrush. You can get back to ebf, but you've got to drop the formula, pay close attention to assuring a proper latch, and just nurse whenever, however often, and for however long baby tells you he needs to nurse.
"Happily" taking a bottle after being used to being breastfed is not an indication of hunger-- babies that young that are used to the flow of milk from the breast often will just down whatever size bottle is offered to them because they don't know how to make it stop, then they seem super satisfied because the harder-to-digest formula knocks them out because their intestines require higher blood flow to break it down, like adults after a huge holiday dinner. It does not in any way mean your milk wasn't satisfying or enough for him.
Please get in touch with a local IBCLC. There's only so much we can do to help and assure you online. In-person visits, someone to watch baby through a feed, check for proper latch and milk transfer, and to help guide you in decreasing supplementation will help so much. LLLI also has mom-to-mom support networks. If you contact your local chapter we can often send someone to your home to help support you and lend a shoulder (we even pick up some housework, cook, and spend time caring for your other kids if that's what the mom needs to be supported enough to sit and nurse through growth spurts). Please find help. We want you to reach your personal bf goal.

ETA: Just saw in your other post that the pain has been unceasing for all of your bf experiences. Did you ever have any experiences where someone qualified checked your latch and looked for tongue tie (not a hospital nurse or pediatrician, they're usually not trained and have no idea what they're doing)?

 

[Maxy1]

Is the pain all the time? Thrush pain is similar to vasospasm pain. If you are taking treatment for thrush I would expect the pain would start easing pretty quickly. When you are finished a feed is your nipple red/purple/white or a flat shape? this could indicate vasospasm which is a completely different treatment.

You could just combi feed for a while? I combi fed my LO for 7 weeks, even at one point only giving him formula for days because I was in hospital with complications and we ended out BFing til he was 22 months old. It doesn't have to be one or the other if you can get your pain under control.

I agree with pp, if you are not ready to stop you need to see a proper LC, one who does nothing else but LC for a job and preferably a IBCLC one. My BFing relationship just went from strength to strength with the right LC. And I saw 3 different ones before finding one (and then two) that worked for us and was dedicated to helping us find a way through it all - hence the 22 months.

 

[Night Flower]

I dont see why you're giving up. You dont have to.

And some babies, even when full, still cry for more. MINE DOES. And she eats until she spits up and cries for more after spitting up and draining both my breasts. Sometimes when she acts like this, its gas. And its only in the evening. So its normal. She isnt starving and nor is she thin or underweight. She is chubby =D Almost 2 months old and 14 pounds.

Please dont give up. You dont have to!

 

[Miss406]

Thanks for all your support ladies. Woke up to another soaking wet bra this morning (despite breast pads) and cried my heart out again. I have another doctors appointment this afternoon (I've had a persistent cough since discharge from the hospital, they suspected a blood clot...) to hear the results of the repeat xray. I will ask that doctor if they know of anywhere to contact for support and advice. I want to desperately continue with breastfeeding but I need to control this pain too. xx

 

[Celesse]

Has baby been checked for a posterior tongue tie? I'm currently breastfeeding my third. Breastfed to toddlerhood with #1 and #2 and overcame a lot of issues so knew how to breastfeed. But #3 wasn't putting on weight, wasn't emptying breast inspite of building up supply. Turned out she had a posterior tongue tie. Wasn't even visible as a tongue tie as completely buried under her skin.

 

[LaraSue]

Here is a link to La Leche League It's international, so hopefully there's a group near you. At the very least, there is a number you can call in your country to get support. If you're not ready to stop, keep investigating. However, if you feel like it is truly what is best for you and your baby, please know that your baby will be FINE. You're providing him nourishment the best way you can.

 

[Caitie44]

Not sure if this is really advice, but wanted to put my personal story out there. Maybe it'll help! Close to 1-2 months old, DD was doing the same as your LO. She would nurse on both sides, and still cry like she was absolutely starving. It was incredibly frustrating, as it felt like she drained me dry, and I felt like such a failure that I couldn't produce enough to feed my own child. I began supplementing with formula, and was all ready to give up on breastfeeding, even though it broke my heart to do so.

I'm not sure what exactly clicked, but one day while DF was getting ready to prepare a bottle, I told him to hold off, and that I wanted to try and start breastfeeding again. DD latched right on, and I forced myself to allow her to nurse from both sides, and then supplement if I needed to. It took about a month, but finally it got to where I no longer had to formula feed at all - and we've been successfully breastfeeding for over 10 months now, and I don't think we'll be stopping any time soon!

I guess the whole point of this post is to say, don't give up if you truly do not want to. If you feel ready to stop breastfeeding - then stop, by all means. But IMO you sound like you wish to continue - so keep trying! Breastfeed, and then supplement if you have to. Your body is most likely still adjusting to how much milk it has to create.

 

[Miss406]

Not sure if this is really advice, but wanted to put my personal story out there. Maybe it'll help! Close to 1-2 months old, DD was doing the same as your LO. She would nurse on both sides, and still cry like she was absolutely starving. It was incredibly frustrating, as it felt like she drained me dry, and I felt like such a failure that I couldn't produce enough to feed my own child. I began supplementing with formula, and was all ready to give up on breastfeeding, even though it broke my heart to do so.

I'm not sure what exactly clicked, but one day while DF was getting ready to prepare a bottle, I told him to hold off, and that I wanted to try and start breastfeeding again. DD latched right on, and I forced myself to allow her to nurse from both sides, and then supplement if I needed to. It took about a month, but finally it got to where I no longer had to formula feed at all - and we've been successfully breastfeeding for over 10 months now, and I don't think we'll be stopping any time soon!

I guess the whole point of this post is to say, don't give up if you truly do not want to. If you feel ready to stop breastfeeding - then stop, by all means. But IMO you sound like you wish to continue - so keep trying! Breastfeed, and then supplement if you have to. Your body is most likely still adjusting to how much milk it has to create.

It's all too late My breasts have hardly 3 drops of milk between them now and he hasn't been on the breast for over a week now!
I still have the odd sharp pain in my breast and all my doctor could do was to advise me to get in touch with a breast-feeding adviser at the local hospital, that local hospital is about an hour away from me and with 5 other little ones to look after - the last thing I wanted to do was to spend hours in a hospital waiting room! I am gutted our journey is over, I cry myself to sleep every night and well up at every feed. I am set against formula but for selfish reasons I gave up because of pain!

 

[Night Flower]

If you have even several drops in there, you can bring your supply back.

In the beginning, most women only have a small amount of breastmilk. Through breastfeeding, you increase your supply. It will take time, but you CAN bring your supply back. Your not completely dried up!