my daughters dad wants to come back on the scene...

[beckynbump25]

Well its been a year and six months since my daughters dad has seen her and nearly a year untill he sent her a birthday card and thats all the contact he's had with her his choice not mine.

a year and six months ago i told him to take me to court if he wants to see her again because i gave him tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays and he was either in bed, his alarm had broke, he had not clean close,he had not where to take her, or he didnt want her weekends because he wanted to go out with his mates.
anyway he has just sent me a message on face book askin to see chlo and sorry he hasnt been in touch hes been sorting his life out and all this crap.
now apart of me think yeah ill give him a second chance for chloe's sake so she knows who her dad is and then when he f*cks up again i can say i tried twice for her.
but then i don't want him to f*ck up and leave her asking where her dad is for the rest of her life while at the moment she dont know hat a dad is,plus she not gunna have a clue who he is and she would go with him and i dont think ild be ready to let her go with him. shes only 2 what can i do??

 

[angelkatelyn]

Maybe say he can come to urs for a couple of hours a week so she can get to no him in familiar surroundings and if he lets her down once with a rubbish excuse then he's lost his last chance x

 

[billy2mm]

if it was me it would totally depend on if he had a good enough reason to be away from her for that long eg gettung treatment for anger issues or drink or drugs or major emotional issues.

if you think he deserves another chance then set down clear ground rules. how old is your lo? is she old enough to understand "daddy" and to question where he has gone etc?

 

[beckynbump25]

shes 2 on the 25th, ive always showed her pic's of her daddy she thinks it my brother.
if she gets attched too him and he decides he dont wanna do it anymore she will ask about him i dont want that ild rather him not even bother now. x

 

[billy2mm]

at that age she wont really question if he goes i dont think. my eldest hasnt seen his dad since he was 2 and a half and he has never once asked where he is or showed any sign of even remembering that he is missing.

 

[beckynbump25]

i think i might give it ago and if he blows it, he's definatly getting a third chance. xx

 

[lou_w34]

He doesnt have to take her, You are totally within your rights to say to him that if he wants contact with her, he has to start from the bottom and get to know her, and that will mean that you have to be there aswell.

If he really has sorted his life out and wants to see her then he will understand and accept this

xx

 

[beckynbump25]

well he messaged me backsayin thanks and stuff hes gunna move closer ect...i dunno how true thats gunna be but i said to him you will have to come to mine and see her for the first...i dont know how long yet for a number of reasons and if your not planning on making it a regular thing dont bother at all. you won't get a third chance and to set the record straight im doing this for chloe not for you....all he could say was okay soo lets see how long it takes him too come and see her now. thanks girls xx

 

[blueeyes028]

I wouldnt give him anymore chances do you really think hes going to change?
I know I dont know your situation but Ive been through all that crap with my ex, my son is 12yrs old and Ive wasted 12yrs of my life thinking he was going to change, he sounds just like your childs father begs to see his child then when you let him he only lets you down with lies and excuses ...I hope you really think really hard about it and not waste 12 yrs of your life hoping he will change like I did....

 

[beckynbump25]

thank i think i have made it pretty clear that if he fuck's up or doesnt have a good enough excuse for missing a day or missing one to many days thats it he can go to hell i have thought long and hard about this and ive made the desision i have for my daughter and he's not going to mess with her head or mess her around i won't alow that to happen!!! ifeel stronger this time round.

 

[blueeyes028]

Well I wish you luck and hope he has grown some balls and takes responsibilty..... for you and your daughters sake ...

 

[beckynbump25]

so do i because this time i could really give him a wack if he messes up!! lol thanks xx