My doc spilled the beans

[fairycat]

I got the call about my chromosome test finally. In my doc's explanation and reading the report, he spilled the beans about gender without asking me if I wanted to know. I was so upset, it was like losing something all over again. I wanted a girl so bad, and from the beginning I just had this feeling that I was having a girl. I used the term her at times when talking about it. Turns out it was a girl. Totally broke my heart in half.

In good news, the test came back normal. So now I feel a lot better about TTC again. Phew.

 

[Linzalora]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wasn't able to find out the gender. I don't know if I would have chosen to find out either, but I often wonder.

Hooray for normal tests and a hopeful future! Baby dust to you!

 

[lilmisscaviar]

So sorry to hear this, fairycat. I wish I would have known what my babies were, in a way, so I could give them proper names. I only gave them a first name and they are all neutral gender names because I never known if they were boys or girls. I think about them a lot though, wonder what they would have looked like. I even have these crazy dreams that they're in... or at least what my subconscious pictures how they would have looked. At least the test came back normal so that's probably like a weight lifted off your shoulders right there.

 

[Justme43]

I got the call about my chromosome test finally. In my doc's explanation and reading the report, he spilled the beans about gender without asking me if I wanted to know. I was so upset, it was like losing something all over again. I wanted a girl so bad, and from the beginning I just had this feeling that I was having a girl. I used the term her at times when talking about it. Turns out it was a girl. Totally broke my heart in half.

In good news, the test came back normal. So now I feel a lot better about TTC again. Phew.

Awww honey I'm sorry. I can only imagine how you feel. But I am really happy to hear that nothing was wrong and you are good to go. I was relieved when I got that news too. It does not erase the pain but at least now you know and no longer need to worry if something happened that could possible cause problems later.

Hang in there!!!

 

[fairycat]

Thanks for the support ladies.

Now that it has had time to really sink in, I am glad to know in a way. I'm still angry at life though. It just amazes me that they can tell so early on. I often wonder what she would have looked like too. Pains me so much that I'll never meet her.

 

[Vicky_92]

Ack I'm so sorry 😔 I never had the opportunity to find out and I don't think I would have wanted too. The doctor should of had more sense.

On the other hand, I'm so happy for you that the tests came back ok.

xxxx

 

[fairycat]

Thanks! We are relieved it was normal too. It's so hard knowing the gender.

On the other hand, I had some spotting today so I'm hoping AF arrives a week before I expect it to! Any time we can shave off for TTC again is welcome.

 

[Vicky_92]

Best of luck for TTC xx

 

[JasmineFrame]

Im so sorry for your loss, i glad ur feeling up to trying again wishing you lots of baby dust

 

[fairycat]

Thanks Jasmine!

 

[mummof1]

This makes my heart hurt
I long for a girl and I often wonder if my losses would have been girls .

I hope you get your rainbow soon

 

[Mdc]

Fairy, I am so sorry for your loss. I could have written the post myself because my doc emailed me the same results normal chromosomes and the sex of the baby. It crushed me all over again. I did write her back saying politely (or politely as I could) saying they should consider if a patient would want to know the gender, because it should be our decision. I really did not want to know because it just made it harder. Wishing you the best of luck when you try again.

 

[fairycat]

Oh, Mdc I am so sorry your doc did that to you too It's like pouring lemon juice into an open wound. I wish these docs would step away from their profession once in a while and just be a person and consider feelings in delicate times like these. Are you in any way glad you know... after it sinks in a bit? Wishing you luck as well.

 

[Mdc]

Thank you. I am hoping my email will make them think twice for just 'blurting it out' as she put it. I am still pretty torn about knowing. Sometime I fell alright but others it makes it seem too real. I haven't even told DH bc we both have been traveling for work since a couple days after the D&C. Not sure if I will burden him unless he asks.

 

[Justme43]

Thank you. I am hoping my email will make them think twice for just 'blurting it out' as she put it. I am still pretty torn about knowing. Sometime I fell alright but others it makes it seem too real. I haven't even told DH bc we both have been traveling for work since a couple days after the D&C. Not sure if I will burden him unless he asks.

Fairycat and Mdc - I am really sorry that you got that news like that. It should've been your decision.

Mdc- good for you for writing that email. It is possible that they did not consider the impact it could have on women - so I am really glad you bought it to their attention.

Baby dust to you both!!! And wishing for more better days than not.

 

[fairycat]

Aww.. you shouldn't have to carry the burden yourself. I told mine, he really didn't want to know, but he didn't expect me to hold onto it myself. He was so mad at the doctor for telling me. It took me a bit to make peace with it, but I'm sort of glad I know as I was suspecting it was a girl from the beginning. You're right though - it makes it 100% real, and it totally sucks.