My family & HIM..

[missjacey44]

He has made this so difficult!! Firstly.. My family dont ever want to see him again (understandable) and he doesnt want to see them either..

I had planned to have both my mum and him at the birth but looks like now iv got to make a choice between one or the other and its a very hard choice..
Is it fair to shut him out of the birth when he really wants to be there?!

And now he wants to take baby to his parents for Xmas.. Before we had planned all three of us would be going to my parents but obviously now he cant come. I dont want to leave baby over xmas because it will be our first xmas together.. But then it will also be his first xmas with baby.. Ohhh what do i do?!!! I cant see a way we can 'share' baby over xmas.. His parents live quite far away so he couldnt just take baby for a few hours and give him back

 

[Serene123]

You breastfeed then he's got no choice but to do what you want..

 

[MummyJade]

You def do not have to choose who to be there, i am sure your mum would be more worried about you then him... tell them they are both going in like it or lump it.. its you and the baby that matters, as for xmas he must understand that the baby will only be young and you cant just change routine. Its his fault for doing what he did and cant expect the best of both worlds. You will be babys main carer so you get to choose xx

 

[Serene123]

Yeah, what she said! I never let Rich decide when we're going anywhere. We went Southend to see his nan and grandad and we are NOT going again untill she is older. She didn't sleep atall that night because of the stupid long car rides!

 

[LucyS]

I think baby should be with you, he will bond with you quicker espec if daddy isn't around all the time and would unsettle him being taken away at christmas.

 

[missjacey44]

Yeah im just going to have to say NO. !! Ill probably have to show him what others have said on here also because he will think im just making stupid excuses!!! I guess he doesnt deserve to have what he 'wants' anyway... because he ruined everything i wanted!

 

[Serene123]

How old will Tye be at Christmas? I still can't take Caitlyn on long trips now and she's nearly 4 months old.. It disrupts her and it's unfair. Want me to speak to David, Jacey?

 

[missjacey44]

Erm about 2-3 months. Ill talk to david first.. Hes still gotta tell his mum!!!!!!!!! She thinks were still all fine and happily together!! If he acts stupid ill let you know and you can talk some sense into him!

I just wanted to take Tye to my mums for a few hours.. Get his presents.. See the family then bring him home. David is welcome to come here and see Tye if he really does want to see him.. But not take him to his mums.

 

[cupcake]

Do what is best for the baby hun, in my opinion that is being with who he is used to looking after him and feeding him, at that age they are still very dependent. i would not let anyone take my baby for the day at that age, thats just my opinion.

 

[1angel]

You should do what is best for you and your baby! Its all good trying to please everyone but in the end you end up working your arse off and feeling poo! (trust me i had to work to keep everyone happy and it was annoying) In the end i had my mum as my birthing partner, and my ex Rich stayed outside the room with my dad till after Mikey was born.

That way everyone got a look in and i stayed as calm as i could.

Just explain to him that you are not happy dragging a baby round on christmas, you need to relax and enjoy the day. You have no problem with him coming to see the baby but not going out.

Hope you work it out xxx

 

[starbucks101]

As everyone else has said.p First christmas & its up to you. Is there anyway that your ex's parents could come to yours for a few hours in the afternoon? or would that be to uncomfortable?

 

[diva4180]

I agree with what starbucks said, inviting his parents to come to your place to see you instead of carting the baby all over, he'll still too young in my opinion. I didn't take my son ANYWHERE at first, only local few minutes away visits, no long car rides. If whoever really wanted to see him, then they would just come over to see him.

Plus I agree with the fact that it will disrupt his routine. Especially if you are his primary care giver, and that time will be his first over night all of a sudden, he's likely to fuss and be upset if he is used to you. I hope it works out for you!

 

[nikky0907]

What about inviting his parents?
I know obviously it would be a bit of an awkward situation but on the other hand both of you can ask your families to respect and treat each other right for this day as it's for Tye.

If this can't be arranged then you need to talk with him and explain how obviously important it is for you to be there for the first Christmas of your child.
Tye will be pretty young then and I know I wouldn't feel comfortable with Lola-Rose going on a long trip without me.



Hope you can work it out!

 

[missjacey44]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Im just going to have to say he cant see him unless he comes here. Your right its not fair on baby to go somewhere he isnt used to without me.