My first B&B vent... Grrr!

[Bumblebeee]

Hello, I am not one to sit back and boil in anger but problems conceiving seems such a taboo subject and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of hearing 'all in good time', 'when you least expect it' and 'so and so was told she'd never have kids and now she's got 4!' Grrr! I am 23 years old, so another one that really grinds me is 'ooh, you're only a baby yourself. You've got plenty of time!' Anyone else get that one? It's sooo patronising! I may be 23 years old, but I am in a steady 10 year relationship with my lovely (sometimes ) boyfriend, we own our own home with plenty of space for babies, we have two family cars, OH is a heating engineer and well paid, I work part time for ok money whilst I finish my college course (i already have a Uni degree) we have 2 fur babies, 18month lab and 8month kitten so all in all we have everything except a baby
My OH has been peeing me off lately too, as a maybe PCOS sufferer (had an ultrasound at 16 and found enlarged left ovary indicating PCOS, was put on to Dianette to control it, came off Dianette at 20 (ish) ttc ever since. Went to GP in Nov '11 for bloodwork which showed no PCOS at all. Never had a definate answer from them, all they said is that I MIGHT have had PCOS) I asked him to have a think about us investing in the Duo fertilitymonitor and he said no. I don't know why, he didn't give a reason, but I genuinely think this is the way forward!
Doctor annoyed me too, as when I went to see him in Nov, I went for some advice/testing to see if I am able to get pregnant, e.g. Everything in good working order, only to be sat there for 5 mins and be offered IVF. Now some may not understand my decision, but I refused it. I want to know if it is possible for me to conceive naturally, and if there is a problem. If there is a problem, then I will go for IVF. I just get the feeling that they are not taking me seriously, even my doc said I've got age on my side I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with them, how can I get them to test me??? I feel apprehensive about going to see him again too incase he just dismisses me again.
To top it all off, I am 8 dpo today and got a BFN. Fml.
It's good to get that off my chest, especially with people who know exactly what we're going through, not just friends who nod their head at appropriate times and pretend to understand.
Here's to hoping for a better day tomorrow!!!!

 

[tonibzac]

Eurgh I feel your pain! I am 24 and my GP dropped the old 'you're still so young'....... YES but I have been trying for over a year and I ovulate FIVE times a YEAR!!! That is NOT normal

It pains me to see my hubby though, he goes through so much and hides it. He says it kills him to see the pain and heartache I got through which makes me feel awful for not being normal and just being able to get pregnant

I am absolutely sick to death of people making the comments so we have started telling people that we are being referred to a specialist and that it is NOT a case of sit back and wait, I have been told it is highly unlikely that I will get pregnant without any medical help (as I ovulate late so eggs are rubbish )

 

[StephieB]

Besides the PCOS thing, I could have written both of these posts myself!!

I'm going to have a T shirt made that says:

"Hello, my names Steph, I'm 23 and have been battling unexplained infertility now for 2 years. No nothings wrong, I don't care if your boyfriends sisters aunts best friend has 17 children after she was told she couldn't have any. Yes I have tried relaxing, thank you for that little snippet of medical genius! Funnily enough I do realise I am only in my early 20's, do you realise that that ONLY WORRIES ME MORE?!"

Ok maybe a little bit much for a t shirt, but I could sit and rant about the whole infertility thing for hours and hours and then a little bit more!

Bumblebee - Please don't suffer at the hands of your doctor. When me and my husband went to see our GP after 12 months of trying, he actually laughed at us. Yep, actually laughs came out of his face! He just laughed, looked at me and said "You're 22, wait until you are at least 25 before you start worrying about any of that" I cried for hours when I got home that night and it took us another 4 months before I plucked up the courage to find a different doctor. Our new GP has been absolutely fantastic! When we went to see him he immediately sent us for blood tests and a SA, gave me and my husband a quick poke and prod, and referred us to a specialist there and then. If you are not happy with your doctor, find a new one. Or kick and scream and throw things until they do what you want. My best friend is a doctor, and has always said "Its the loudest patients that get the furthest"

Tonibzac - I'm sorry to hear of your ovulation problems. With any luck clomid could be a good starting point for you! I agree with what your saying about husbands during baby stuff, mine is so blooming brilliant with everything. He sits there and lets me scream and shout at him when another AF rolls round, lets me spend ridiculous amounts of money on pills, lotions potions and all sorts of tests and never complains and always seems to take it in his stride. It wasn't until we had our miscarriage in September, and it was the first time I have ever seen my husband cry, in the whole 9 years on knowing him, that I realised how much his heart was in this.

 

[jogger123]

StephieB - so sorry for your loss in September, i can't imagine how hard that was. We have been ttc for 2 years with not a BFP in sight but ttc after a m/c must be awful. Please keep your chin up dear!

Tonibzac - 5 times a year?! You must be up the wall trying to spot ovulation times. You poor dear.

Bumblebeee - you need to take your doctor out the back of the surgery and punch them in the face

I just had my hsg and all is clear but we were told no BDing this month and it has been bliss! No testing or worrying. I guess next month it is back on the OPK train.

Hopeing my tubes are clear so my hol in March to the Caribbean will produce a holiday baby!

 

[CHILLbilly]

It breaks my heart to see you "young" girls having to go tho LTTTC and having fertility issues...
I'm 40 so expect it to take a while.....
I don't have any advice JUST
I wish you all Good luck..even tho we all know luck has nothing to do with it

 

[tonibzac]

Thanks ladies makes it worse when you have family living in benefits popping a new kid out every year

 

[Bumblebeee]

Yea, or the lady I noticed recently who's pregnant with her 11th child!!! It's hard not to be a little jealous (or a lot!!) but why would you have that many children?! And wouldn't it be fair for her to give us all one?!

 

[tonibzac]

It's the kids I feel sorry for

 

[phoenixrose]

Bumblebee: my best advice is to definitely change doctors! I did and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made! My old FS would just brush me off and not give good explanations for anything. My new FS at least found a good reason as to why I am having trouble. I only hope I can be one of the success stories for the new doc!

 

[nicb26]

Hope you don't mind me butting in. It took 18 months to conceive my lo with a heartbreaking mmc along the way. I know that's nowhere near as long as some of you ladies have been trying, but it was the hardest and most depressing time of my life getting bfns each month. My doctor also laughed and told me, at 26/27, that I still had a good 10 years before worrying! I definitely think you should try a different doctor if your current one won't listen. Anyway I ended up on antidepressants as it was all getting on top of me, and two months later bfp! Not saying that popping pills is the answer but I found it very interesting that once my negative mood has been lifted, albeit artificially, I did conceive.

Hope I'm not coming across as patronizing , sorry if I'm not helping. Big hugs to all of you hope you get your bfps soon xxx

 

[charbaby]

I went to 3 different doctors before i was referred to the f/s so defo change doctors x

 

[phoenixrose]

Hope you don't mind me butting in. It took 18 months to conceive my lo with a heartbreaking mmc along the way. I know that's nowhere near as long as some of you ladies have been trying, but it was the hardest and most depressing time of my life getting bfns each month. My doctor also laughed and told me, at 26/27, that I still had a good 10 years before worrying! I definitely think you should try a different doctor if your current one won't listen. Anyway I ended up on antidepressants as it was all getting on top of me, and two months later bfp! Not saying that popping pills is the answer but I found it very interesting that once my negative mood has been lifted, albeit artificially, I did conceive.

Hope I'm not coming across as patronizing , sorry if I'm not helping. Big hugs to all of you hope you get your bfps soon xxx

If you don't mind me asking which antidepressant did you take. Did they tell you it was safe to take while trying and possibly pg? Which articial method did you use? Sorry for all the Q's but lately I've been considering meds too.

 

[nicb26]

Hope you don't mind me butting in. It took 18 months to conceive my lo with a heartbreaking mmc along the way. I know that's nowhere near as long as some of you ladies have been trying, but it was the hardest and most depressing time of my life getting bfns each month. My doctor also laughed and told me, at 26/27, that I still had a good 10 years before worrying! I definitely think you should try a different doctor if your current one won't listen. Anyway I ended up on antidepressants as it was all getting on top of me, and two months later bfp! Not saying that popping pills is the answer but I found it very interesting that once my negative mood has been lifted, albeit artificially, I did conceive.

Hope I'm not coming across as patronizing , sorry if I'm not helping. Big hugs to all of you hope you get your bfps soon xxx

If you don't mind me asking which antidepressant did you take. Did they tell you it was safe to take while trying and possibly pg? Which articial method did you use? Sorry for all the Q's but lately I've been considering meds too.

I was on fluoxetine, they don't advise it while pregnant, but also there are no known bad effects. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Sorry I meant my mood was lifted artificially, not that I used artificial methods to conceive, although I was also having acupuncture and herbs at the time, but I really think it was down to feeling more positive with life in general. Good luck Hun xxx

 

[Bumblebeee]

It's definitely something I've been noticing lately, like lots of babies conceived on holiday/time off work/after moving home etc, happy times. I don't feel as though it's consuming me yet, there are some times during the day when it's not on my mind so I think i'm in a good mind set at the moment. I'm going on holls in May too so maybe that'll be my lucky time!

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

I know exactly how you feel!!

I'm 21 and ive had the whole "You're only a baby yourself" comment which annoys me most! My family are now very supportive of me TTC as I have been NTNP since 2008 but actively trying the past year.

Me and Liam are engaged...we live together. He owns his own Construction company and I work full time and earn decent money. I do have PCOS and was diagnosed in 2008. I changed doctors in 2011 as like yours my doctor wasn't interested at all and didnt take me seriously. Since changing doctors.. I've had a smear done which showed abnormal cells because I was complaining of bleeding after sex... I've had bloods and ultrasounds done...OH has had a sperm analysis done... I've been referred to a FS and today I was booked in for a HSG to look at my Fallopian tubes next Thursday!

I would seriously recommend changing doctors and if they don't help you change again. Or just keep booking appointments to see your GP...they will soon get fed up of seeing you and do something!! If you wanna chat feel free to PM.

x

 

[phoenixrose]

I know exactly how you feel!!

I'm 21 and ive had the whole "You're only a baby yourself" comment which annoys me most! My family are now very supportive of me TTC as I have been NTNP since 2008 but actively trying the past year.

Me and Liam are engaged...we live together. He owns his own Construction company and I work full time and earn decent money. I do have PCOS and was diagnosed in 2008. I changed doctors in 2011 as like yours my doctor wasn't interested at all and didnt take me seriously. Since changing doctors.. I've had a smear done which showed abnormal cells because I was complaining of bleeding after sex... I've had bloods and ultrasounds done...OH has had a sperm analysis done... I've been referred to a FS and today I was booked in for a HSG to look at my Fallopian tubes next Thursday!

I would seriously recommend changing doctors and if they don't help you change again. Or just keep booking appointments to see your GP...they will soon get fed up of seeing you and do something!! If you wanna chat feel free to PM.

x

You should google a condition called "ectropion". It explains the bleeding after sex and possibly the abnormal cells (they may not be abnormal in general but are abnormal for the surface of the cervix and they belong elsewhere). I have it and it's basically harmless. It's basically that the cells inside your cervix grow on the outside of your cervix where they don't belong and you can experience bleeding after sex and sometimes it can hurt at certain times during sex as it's more sensitive. I've noticed the symptoms of it for at least the last 4 years and it wasn't until this past September that my new FS noticed it and told me. It wasn't like other doctor's hadn't been up there...LOL!

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

I know exactly how you feel!!

I'm 21 and ive had the whole "You're only a baby yourself" comment which annoys me most! My family are now very supportive of me TTC as I have been NTNP since 2008 but actively trying the past year.

Me and Liam are engaged...we live together. He owns his own Construction company and I work full time and earn decent money. I do have PCOS and was diagnosed in 2008. I changed doctors in 2011 as like yours my doctor wasn't interested at all and didnt take me seriously. Since changing doctors.. I've had a smear done which showed abnormal cells because I was complaining of bleeding after sex... I've had bloods and ultrasounds done...OH has had a sperm analysis done... I've been referred to a FS and today I was booked in for a HSG to look at my Fallopian tubes next Thursday!

I would seriously recommend changing doctors and if they don't help you change again. Or just keep booking appointments to see your GP...they will soon get fed up of seeing you and do something!! If you wanna chat feel free to PM.

x

You should google a condition called "ectropion". It explains the bleeding after sex and possibly the abnormal cells (they may not be abnormal in general but are abnormal for the surface of the cervix and they belong elsewhere). I have it and it's basically harmless. It's basically that the cells inside your cervix grow on the outside of your cervix where they don't belong and you can experience bleeding after sex and sometimes it can hurt at certain times during sex as it's more sensitive. I've noticed the symptoms of it for at least the last 4 years and it wasn't until this past September that my new FS noticed it and told me. It wasn't like other doctor's hadn't been up there...LOL!

Hiya thanks for the reply. Yes when I went for the Colposcopy the gynae consultant said it was that but referred to it as a different name (Not quite sure what one now) But did say it was very common especially in younger women. Yes sex can be very painful sometimes...depending on penetration and position..I mean if liams "Right in their" (Sorry tmi) Then its sore and I get a sharp pain which usually gives me a dull achey pain for a while after we have finished! Thanks hun x