My kid laughs at other people's pain

[Lady_Bee]

My 5 year old grins and laughs when someone is upset. He's always done this since he was a toddler, and I kind of thought he would grow out of it as he matured, but he still does it. He never has responded appropriately to other people's emotions, ever. He doesn't display any empathy. If someone is in pain, he either ignores or laughs. If someone is sad, he laughs. If someone is frustrated or angry with him, he laughs.

He has many times thrown hard objects right at my face, or hit me for no reason and then laughed gleefully about it.

I have to admit I really struggle with this. He seems to really enjoy making people upset, and hurting people. Is this kind of behaviour in any way normal at age 5??? We've had him assessed a couple of times for learning disabilities, as he has difficulties with focus, fine motor skills and social skills (lagging quite a bit it seems). But have just been told to wait until he is in school as he will be screened thoroughly there.

My 3 year old is nothing like this! He is super sweet and seems to have genuine empathy for others. He listens and can be reasoned with. But my 5 year old has zero tolerance for frustration, zero control over his emotions, zero respect for rules, and he is extremely defiant and controlling and us but the laughing when he hurts us is the worst thing.

Help?

 

[ClairAye]

I could have written this exactly. I have no advice sorry as he is honestly out of my control at the moment but I want to let you know you're not alone!

 

[Lady_Bee]

Thank you! It's somewhat reassuring at least to know it's not just my child.

 

[justmeinlove]

That doesn't sound like the right advice, as I have a friend with an autistic kid and they chose their school on that basis - so must have gained a diagnosis earlier.

 

[ClairAye]

There is a strange comfort knowing there are other people going through the same!

That doesn't sound like the right advice, as I have a friend with an autistic kid and they chose their school on that basis - so must have gained a diagnosis earlier.

This is interesting to know! I was also told we can see if my son settles in school or not and take it from there. I find it a bit odd but I can't see school helping him, honestly.

 

[daneuse27]

I have no expertise on this, other than being a school teacher (older age though) and having a 5 year old of my own at home. But this sounds like very odd and concerning behaviour. I wouldn't wait for the school to do something, as the resources are usually so limited, and it will take some before his teacher, who is managing 20 + other kids picks up on it being anything serious. I know I personally wouldn't want to wait. I would speak to his doctor and try to get a referral for a child psychologist. The earlier the intervention, the better. It could be that there is nothing serious wrong, but its always best to look into and treat things as soon as possible before views/habits and norms become too ingrained. I hope that everything is fine, and that he's just behaving strangely. But regardless, I would want to know asap.