Gen79
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2010
- Messages
- 701
- Reaction score
- 0
Well I started writing this story a few days ago and only got half way, so I'm going to try an abbreviated version because it is looooong!
I went into latent labor on Wednesday 23 March, but didn't realise it wasn't going to go anywhere because it got stronger and closer together over the course of 12 hours. We were left with a filled birthing pool, plastic sheets on the living room floor and eventually, less intense and further apart contractions.
These continued, every 10 - 20 minutes depending on my activity level until my waters broke at 8:30 pm Friday 25th March. We knew within in an hour that this was it! My contractions got much more intense and closer together - although remained a bit irregular. We called for the midwives at 9:30 and they were sent over almost right away for my homebirth. (This was one thing that annoyed me, I wish they'd talk to my DH instead of insisting on talking to me.)
Once there, they were fabulous and left me alone to labor how I wanted. Through my husband, they gave me the option of getting in the pool and risking the contractions slowing or allowing a vaginal exam at about 12:30. I opted for the exam which was fine. She said I was definitely far enough along to get in, but as per my birth plan didn't tell me how far along I actually was. Turns out I was only 5 cm. Glad they didn't tell me that!
Before getting in the pool they told me that my urine had ketones in it and I needed to eat something. I couldn't imagine eating at a time like that! I had my husband cut up some pineapple and then some ice cream but I think we all knew it wasn't enough. I just couldn't stand it.
Anyway, I labored in the pool for a while and at some point DH said to me that my contractions were slowing down and we had to get out of the pool to walk around for a while to get them stronger and closer together. I think this is where I started to get really scared and it started to fall apart. Up to this point I kept thinking we were nearly there, and now I knew we weren't and it had to get harder before it would get better.
I had a really hard time with deliberately trying to bring on stronger, more painful, quicker contractions (in the same way I've never been able to wax my own legs lol) but I gave it a really good try moving and wiggling around in all directions and even doing squats! But even I knew at this point that I was too scared and fighting them. I was shivering and tired and weak and didn't really want to keep going.
I consented to another internal exam and I was 7 - 8 cm (I think I asked for the news this time) and she gave me a sweep to move things along further. After that she walked out of the room and I did this strange whiney belly flop onto the bed
because I was so exhausted. Then I got up and puked all over the bed, twice. DH called for a bucket and I ran into the bathroom so I could continue retching and (possibly) pooing in the tub. I didn't poo, it just felt like I would.
After some order was restored we went back down stairs and resumed trying to get contractions going but it wasn't happening. The midwife talked to us about what we wanted to do (keeping in mind that she had been discouraging transfer up to this point - I'd already mentioned it once or twice). She said that soon it might be advisable to get some syntocinon to speed up labor. I didn't like this idea, but I was at this point ok with an epidural, I just couldn't deal anymore. So at 6:00 am we made the decision to get on to the hospital and try an epidural to possibly calm me down and see what would happen. She warned they would want the syntocinon right away but I was adament that's not how we were doing it.
Once we were there I started using the gas and air and it was so obvious how out of control I was at that point. I'd decided I couldn't deal and now I really wasn't. I didn't even know when the contractions were coming I was just furiously inhaling the stuff randomly. Unfortunatley, the anaesthetist was at an emergency c-section so couldn't be there to do the epi right away. I was upset about this and also upset to be reminded of the threat of emcs.
I don't remember feeling bullied but my husband says they marched all the doctors in at some point to convince me to get the syntocinon at the same time as the epi. I told them I wanted to see what the effect of the epi was first before adding syntocinon. They seemed a bit perplexed (everyone knows that epi's slow down labor and I needed mine sped up). I thought it might relax me and speed up labor anyway. Plus, I also know that sometimes babies don't react well to epi's or to syntocinon so I wanted to space them out. They tried to frame questions to get me to just say "ok" but I kept saying "epidural first" and eventually they gave up and let me have it my way.
It turns out it was a busy day and the anaesthetist couldn't get to me becaue of emcs after emcs! At 10ish am, I asked for a half dose of pethadine to get me through because I really felt I couldn't cope. I was so upset to have felt the need to make that decision and apologised to DH (who said not to) but actually it helped me a lot. It wasn't enough to make me really high, but it calmed me down and I stopped shaking and panicking between contractions.
At some point after that, an anaesthetist came in and started to give me the epi. For some reason though, she had trouble and they asked if I'd been in any accidents or maybe I worked out a lot at the gym. (Pre-preg I lifted weights a bit.) Before she found a way in, she got called to another emcs. I couldn't believe it! This was so unfair. A more senior dr finally showed at 1:30 pm and managed to get it in. So, 7 and a half hours after I'd decided that I couldn't deal anymore, I finally got my epidural!
Oh yeah, they did an internal just before the epi and I was 9.5 cm dialated already anyway! I told her if it was 9.5 already to make it 10 then, and she laughed and said if she could she would.
Anyway, baby did fine with the epi, and labor slowed a bit so I consented to the syntocinon. They topped up both every so often but my contractions never got close enough and they were always irregular. At 5:00 I was fully dialated and we decided to start pushing. I'd declined the last top up of the epi to help me push.
I pushed for 2 hours, and worried after about 45 minutes how long they were going to give me before suggesting more interventions! But they didn't. The midwife who coached me was amazing and always telling people to came to check that I was making progress. The baby's heartbeat was strong thoughout this entire ordeal, which is why I call her my little hero. (This is based on the saying "Don't be a hero" with regards to pain relief during childbirth which I'd always said: "but you're supposed to be your own childs hero". I wasn't able to be my daughters hero at birth, she was mine instead.
When she was finally out I couldn't believe what I'd just done or that I was finally meeting my little girl after all this. It was amazing! She's a gorgeous, easy going baby and I'm totally in love with her!
I just ended up with a tiny tear in the labia and my perenium stayed intact (no perineum massage ladies, I was too wierded out to try it lol). I've had a hell of a time with backache, constipation and no appetite this week trying to recover though.
I don't really regret any of my decisions. Its unfortunate I didn't get my natural home water birth like I wanted but it wasn't to be. If anything I regret not resting and eating more during the 3 days of latent labor. I think that could have done the most for me toward a different outcome than anything really.
I went into latent labor on Wednesday 23 March, but didn't realise it wasn't going to go anywhere because it got stronger and closer together over the course of 12 hours. We were left with a filled birthing pool, plastic sheets on the living room floor and eventually, less intense and further apart contractions.
These continued, every 10 - 20 minutes depending on my activity level until my waters broke at 8:30 pm Friday 25th March. We knew within in an hour that this was it! My contractions got much more intense and closer together - although remained a bit irregular. We called for the midwives at 9:30 and they were sent over almost right away for my homebirth. (This was one thing that annoyed me, I wish they'd talk to my DH instead of insisting on talking to me.)
Once there, they were fabulous and left me alone to labor how I wanted. Through my husband, they gave me the option of getting in the pool and risking the contractions slowing or allowing a vaginal exam at about 12:30. I opted for the exam which was fine. She said I was definitely far enough along to get in, but as per my birth plan didn't tell me how far along I actually was. Turns out I was only 5 cm. Glad they didn't tell me that!
Before getting in the pool they told me that my urine had ketones in it and I needed to eat something. I couldn't imagine eating at a time like that! I had my husband cut up some pineapple and then some ice cream but I think we all knew it wasn't enough. I just couldn't stand it.
Anyway, I labored in the pool for a while and at some point DH said to me that my contractions were slowing down and we had to get out of the pool to walk around for a while to get them stronger and closer together. I think this is where I started to get really scared and it started to fall apart. Up to this point I kept thinking we were nearly there, and now I knew we weren't and it had to get harder before it would get better.
I had a really hard time with deliberately trying to bring on stronger, more painful, quicker contractions (in the same way I've never been able to wax my own legs lol) but I gave it a really good try moving and wiggling around in all directions and even doing squats! But even I knew at this point that I was too scared and fighting them. I was shivering and tired and weak and didn't really want to keep going.
I consented to another internal exam and I was 7 - 8 cm (I think I asked for the news this time) and she gave me a sweep to move things along further. After that she walked out of the room and I did this strange whiney belly flop onto the bed
because I was so exhausted. Then I got up and puked all over the bed, twice. DH called for a bucket and I ran into the bathroom so I could continue retching and (possibly) pooing in the tub. I didn't poo, it just felt like I would. After some order was restored we went back down stairs and resumed trying to get contractions going but it wasn't happening. The midwife talked to us about what we wanted to do (keeping in mind that she had been discouraging transfer up to this point - I'd already mentioned it once or twice). She said that soon it might be advisable to get some syntocinon to speed up labor. I didn't like this idea, but I was at this point ok with an epidural, I just couldn't deal anymore. So at 6:00 am we made the decision to get on to the hospital and try an epidural to possibly calm me down and see what would happen. She warned they would want the syntocinon right away but I was adament that's not how we were doing it.
Once we were there I started using the gas and air and it was so obvious how out of control I was at that point. I'd decided I couldn't deal and now I really wasn't. I didn't even know when the contractions were coming I was just furiously inhaling the stuff randomly. Unfortunatley, the anaesthetist was at an emergency c-section so couldn't be there to do the epi right away. I was upset about this and also upset to be reminded of the threat of emcs.
I don't remember feeling bullied but my husband says they marched all the doctors in at some point to convince me to get the syntocinon at the same time as the epi. I told them I wanted to see what the effect of the epi was first before adding syntocinon. They seemed a bit perplexed (everyone knows that epi's slow down labor and I needed mine sped up). I thought it might relax me and speed up labor anyway. Plus, I also know that sometimes babies don't react well to epi's or to syntocinon so I wanted to space them out. They tried to frame questions to get me to just say "ok" but I kept saying "epidural first" and eventually they gave up and let me have it my way.
It turns out it was a busy day and the anaesthetist couldn't get to me becaue of emcs after emcs! At 10ish am, I asked for a half dose of pethadine to get me through because I really felt I couldn't cope. I was so upset to have felt the need to make that decision and apologised to DH (who said not to) but actually it helped me a lot. It wasn't enough to make me really high, but it calmed me down and I stopped shaking and panicking between contractions.
At some point after that, an anaesthetist came in and started to give me the epi. For some reason though, she had trouble and they asked if I'd been in any accidents or maybe I worked out a lot at the gym. (Pre-preg I lifted weights a bit.) Before she found a way in, she got called to another emcs. I couldn't believe it! This was so unfair. A more senior dr finally showed at 1:30 pm and managed to get it in. So, 7 and a half hours after I'd decided that I couldn't deal anymore, I finally got my epidural!
Oh yeah, they did an internal just before the epi and I was 9.5 cm dialated already anyway! I told her if it was 9.5 already to make it 10 then, and she laughed and said if she could she would.
Anyway, baby did fine with the epi, and labor slowed a bit so I consented to the syntocinon. They topped up both every so often but my contractions never got close enough and they were always irregular. At 5:00 I was fully dialated and we decided to start pushing. I'd declined the last top up of the epi to help me push.
I pushed for 2 hours, and worried after about 45 minutes how long they were going to give me before suggesting more interventions! But they didn't. The midwife who coached me was amazing and always telling people to came to check that I was making progress. The baby's heartbeat was strong thoughout this entire ordeal, which is why I call her my little hero. (This is based on the saying "Don't be a hero" with regards to pain relief during childbirth which I'd always said: "but you're supposed to be your own childs hero". I wasn't able to be my daughters hero at birth, she was mine instead.
When she was finally out I couldn't believe what I'd just done or that I was finally meeting my little girl after all this. It was amazing! She's a gorgeous, easy going baby and I'm totally in love with her!
I just ended up with a tiny tear in the labia and my perenium stayed intact (no perineum massage ladies, I was too wierded out to try it lol). I've had a hell of a time with backache, constipation and no appetite this week trying to recover though.
I don't really regret any of my decisions. Its unfortunate I didn't get my natural home water birth like I wanted but it wasn't to be. If anything I regret not resting and eating more during the 3 days of latent labor. I think that could have done the most for me toward a different outcome than anything really.
