My mum hates the name!

[Onions]

My mum has made it very clear she hates both our name choices for boy and girl. She even went as far as to say she won't be calling our child the name we have chosen and will have to find a nickname!

I feel pretty upset about it as DH and I love our choices and she's had such a negative reaction to them. I'm not really sure how to approach it with her now. I dunno, I just wanted to vent.

 

[DobbyForever]

My stepdad hated my initial choice. I told him I appreciated his input and his reasoning but end of day it's my child and I'll name him what I want and I would hope that doesn't affect his relationship with his grandchild. And basically just refused to discuss it further. The irony being that when my family decided to accept that name I decided I didn't want it anymore lol

 

[xdxxtx]

My mom has been the same with all the names we chose for our kids. Oh well. She brings it up every chance she gets this time, but I just tell her to keep her opinions to herself if she can't be nice about it. She goes to victim mode and tells me I'm so horrible to talk to my mother like that, but I'm fed up with it. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Right???

 

[Sarahcake]

I'd go with tough luck tbh. She had her chance to name her child/ren so this is yours. I'd tell her she's welcome to find a nickname but it isn't going to stop your choices. I really hate when grandparents feel they have a say in their grandchildren s names.

 

[Onions]

Thanks for your replies, I think I will tell her to keep her opinions to herself if she has nothing nice to say!

I guess it doesn't help that I'm in full on pregnancy hormone mode lol.

 

[crazylilth1ng]

This irritates me. I can't be bothered with people like this! My mother said my sons name was "pretentious" and she would be finding him a nickname. I had similar comments from friends too. His name is Dante which seems pretty normal to me. Funnily enough they all call him Dante now 😂.

Just let people say what they want, ignore it, acknowledge that they are making a fool of themselves and forget it. If they carry on playing the fool after the baby comes just rise above it.

 

[Sarahcake]

I looooooove the name Dante only reason we wouldn't be going with that is because it just doesn't work with my partner's surname. Good choice!

 

[SarahA]

My relationship with my mother is falling apart for a number of reasons, but the whole thing started when she ranted—in front of me and my then-newborn baby—to a store clerk about how much she hated my son's name and that she wouldn't use it. Naming is serious business, and parents don't take it lightly, so if it's not your baby, you shouldn't have an opinion.

 

[KatO79]

I'd very firmly tell her that this is your child and will be naming him/her as you see fit. Also remind her she had her chance to name her own kids and now it's your turn. Be firm and clear in your boundaries. And yes, it's perfectly acceptable to set boundaries, even with family members!

I had a much milder version of this problem only it was my ILs DH and I decided a few days after the birth that our son would be named Alexander. First they tried saying how badly it fit with our last name which is total BS. Then they tried telling us about how many people they'd met recently with the name to make it seem like we'd chosen something super popular when we know we didn't as it's around #16 over popular boy names in this country. Plus most of those people were older children and a guy in his 20s I think they've now accepted it although I was prepared to tell them that I'm not too keen on a couple of the names they chose for their 3 sons but it was their prerogative to choose them - just like it's DH's and mine's for our own son.

 

[sarah1980]

What a horrible thing to say! You will never choose a name that everyone likes but it's you and your partners choice and no one else's! I would never tell anyone I didn't like their child's name, it's irrelevant, it's not my choice and it's my problem if I don't like it! I'd say go with the names you love and stuff anyone else but I do think the name that she supposedly doesn't like will grow on her and the baby will become the name of you get what I mean.xx

 

[RaspberryK]

My brother asked if I was on drugs when I announced my son's name 😂
He thinks it's cool now though pmsl.
Just don't discuss the name it's really not anything to do with anyone else! Xx

 

[Onions]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! She flat out refuses to use either name we picked but you are all 100% right, it's our baby not theirs.

I guess it just hurts she feels so strongly about it, but I think this is one time her opinion means nothing.

 

[AmyKai]

My family hated my 5 year olds name when she was first born but we used it anyway. We loved it, and now they've grown to like it too. Thing is you can't please everyone. As long as you love it thats all that matters!

 

[Palladium]

This is exactly why my DH and I don't discuss names with anyone else. With our DD we came up with a short list of names and chose the one that fit her best after she was born, but we didn't tell anyone (not even our families) any of the names we were considering. I just feel it's a very important thing to be able to name your child without other people inserting their opinions. We'll be doing the same thing this time. I think my MIL thought it was a little strange but she didn't seem to mind too much.

 

[WackyMumof2]

Onions, what have you chosen if you don't mind me asking??

People really need to keep their opinions to themselves. Our children, our choices and they need to respect that and not think they should be finding alternatives to avoid using it. One day, that baby is going to be an adult and will the nickname Grandma gave him as a one week old going to be cute at 20?? I think not!!

My mother doesn't like my eldest son's name: Christopher Jayden. I asked her what she would call him and she told me it's not up to her but if that's what we want to call him that's our choice and she's respectful of that. We draw the line at him being called Chris - it's not happening. But she calls him CJ. Always has and that's okay. DS2, He's Brayden-Lee Elwynne. Brayden-Lee she doesn't mind, Elwynne (my Grandfather's name) she hates with a passion. Apparently she used to tell my grandfather his name was horrible too. Lol. But the toss up for his middle name was between my Grandfather's first name and her middle name (Frances) and she thought I was cruel to use her name so I didn't. Needless to say, she's always got something to say about it while my Grandmother is tickled pink. The little dude is Alexander Gabriel. Don't know her thoughts on that because I haven't asked. We have Kairi Nicole picked for a girl and she LIKES that. I don't get my mother. :/

Anyhow, people are going to feel the have the right to have their say and feel their choice should be worth considering. Stand your ground and tell them that you have chosen your child's name and that it is NOT up for discussion nor is a nickname going to replace your child's name because your family doesn't like it. I'd be telling them to bugger off and not come back until they have learnt some respect.

 

[WackyMumof2]

DH and I decided a few days after the birth that our son would be named Alexander. First they tried saying how badly it fit with our last name which is total BS. Then they tried telling us about how many people they'd met recently with the name to make it seem like we'd chosen something super popular when we know we didn't as it's around #16 over popular boy names in this country. Plus most of those people were older children and a guy in his 20s.

It's is a pretty funky name. We chose it for the same reasons but I think it's lower than #16 here in NZ. Such a strong name and you don't hear Alexander very often now at all.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol my grandfather calls my brothers Ismael and Isaac. It's not even like he has an issue with their names. He just one day decided they were like the biblical characters and 18 years later he still refers to them as Ismael and Isaac. So bizzare. They think it's hilarious.

But I'm sorry. I was a bit hurt/taken aback when not a single person liked my name choice. It stinks, but don't let it sway you from something you love. I only changed my mind when SO vetoed it/I decided I didn't like it for other reasons

I'm also curious what the name is now

 

[Onions]

They are unusual but I think they are lovely and my brother loves them. Says he thinks they really fit with us as a couple.

Cassian for a boy, Artemis for a girl.

 

[Onions]

We also have Issac and Freya in case either of them don't fit at birth.

 

[KatO79]

Onions I agree with WackyMumof2. Try telling your mother that her opinion is noted and she doesn't have to keep repeating herself because you don't want to keep hearing it. Also that the name of your child isn't up for discussion. If she keeps on saying how much she hates the names keep repeating that they aren't up for discussion and change the subject. If she still doesn't get it, just walk away/end the phone call.

DH and I decided a few days after the birth that our son would be named Alexander. First they tried saying how badly it fit with our last name which is total BS. Then they tried telling us about how many people they'd met recently with the name to make it seem like we'd chosen something super popular when we know we didn't as it's around #16 over popular boy names in this country. Plus most of those people were older children and a guy in his 20s.

It's is a pretty funky name. We chose it for the same reasons but I think it's lower than #16 here in NZ. Such a strong name and you don't hear Alexander very often now at all.

Yeah truly Nope it's definitely not a very common name, despite my ILs' efforts to convince me otherwise. I just think my ILs had their hearts more set on our other 2 options which were more Danish: Malthe (pronounced Mal-tuh) and Nicolaj (Nick-oh-lie). I just felt my son looked and felt more like an Alexander. Also Malthe is more popular (#9) so didn't want to risk him being one of 2-3 kids with the name.

Oh and just checked the list and Alexander is #18 so less popular than last I checked which makes it even better