My OH just made me cry..

[Shelby2007]

For starters.. earlier this week we found out that my OH brother is expecting a baby with this "fiance".. this literally tore me up.. and OH new this..

So we were signing my mother in laws Mother's Day card so that we can mail it to her.. so it will be there by Sunday.. and my OH tells me.. why didnt you get Angie (the "fiance") a card.. and I simply said.. why didnt you get me one.. He said cause your not a mother.. and your not expecting.. .. but I should be expecting right now.. and just cause I miscarried doesnt mean Im not their mother.. I just ran off crying!!!

I just needed to rant.. sorry..

 

[babytots]

oh hunni knowing your partners brother and his fiancee are expecting must be so tough on you and your oh saying that must of been hard. men just dont see it the way we do sometimes and tact isn't something they know of. of course you are still a mummy even though your precious baby isnt with you on earth it doesnt make you any less of a mummy.

plus why would it be up to you to get HIS brothers fiancee a card shouldnt that be down to his brother or someone from her family.

hope your doing ok sweetheart. x

 

[Shelby2007]

Thanks babytots.. you are always so kind. See I bought for my mom.. my mother in law.. and my grandma.. I didnt even buy for my SIL that has a kid!! Why would he expect me to buy for my future sister in law.. that just found out she's expecting!

So frustrating.. my friend just asked why i made such a big deal about that.. i was like it's hard to explain.. unless you've been in my shoes.. thanks again.

 

[roc]

omg!
you poor thing!! how insensitive! Also untrue!

you ARE a mother, just because our angels aren't with us, doesn't make it any less so.

Are people, who for one reason or another, not living with their children, not mothers any more?

Just because they might not be physically with you at this moment in time, doesn't make you any less of a mother than anyone else!!

We all know you are, and your beautiful little angels know you are.

It's just sad that some people aren't able to see that, it's their loss.

I read your other thread and my heart goes out to you, must be so hard.

We're all here for you.

 

[Shelby2007]

Thank you roc.. i cried reading your sweet message.. Im having such a hard time.. and just when I thought things were getting easier..

 

[NickyT75]

Aw hun im sorry he was so insensitive

you will always be their mother - no one can take that away from you xx

 

[rachjim98]

OH Sara, I cant believe he would say or ask that of you. I am so sorry sweetie. Men sometimes I just want to smack some common sense into them!!
Wow I am at a loss here but remember this you are a wonderful mommy to your angels and one day my dear friend you will get everything you have ever wanted!!

 

[Shelby2007]

Thank you Rach.. he came back and appologized.. and we have talked.. he just doesnt understand.. from the moment any of us find out we are expecting.. we become a Mom.. no matter what.. I just cant wait to actually have a baby in my arms!!!

 

[babytots]

Thanks babytots.. you are always so kind. See I bought for my mom.. my mother in law.. and my grandma.. I didnt even buy for my SIL that has a kid!! Why would he expect me to buy for my future sister in law.. that just found out she's expecting!

So frustrating.. my friend just asked why i made such a big deal about that.. i was like it's hard to explain.. unless you've been in my shoes.. thanks again.

oh hunni no need to thank me. i just know that it would make me upset if it was me in your shoes. people tend to forget about our angels (not saying your oh has forgotten) but its like they expect us to move on when in reality we can't in our hearts we are mothers to our angels and we like to acknowledge this whenever we can to keep their memory alive.

sorry your friend wasnt understanding its hard when they dont know how you feel. thats why you have us eh?! we do and we will always be there with words of comfort and understanding.

have you tried talking to your oh explaining why it upset you? x

 

[roc]

Thank you roc.. i cried reading your sweet message.. Im having such a hard time.. and just when I thought things were getting easier..

you poor love shelby2007,
how are you feeling today? i'm glad he apologized!
i can't imagine what it must be like having that constant reminder there,i'm terrified of in-laws getting pregnant at the moment, as i just want it to be me, i can't imagine what i'd do if it really happened, would make my loss all the more painful i think...

If you need to talk at all, i'll keep an eye out for this thread or pm me, i'm sure all the other ladies will say the same!

 

[CarCam]

I am so sorry. Sometimes I think our husbands are incapable of understanding. They can't possibly understand that from the moment we find out we are pregnant, we love our little sprout more than anyone can even imagine. They're are baby, and we instantly love them and want to protect them.

 

[honeybunch2k7]

How insensitive! I'm sorry he said that to you.

 

[Shelby2007]

Thank you sweet ladies.. we got to go away this weekend just the two of us.. and that was nice.. and yesturday he even said Happy Mothers Day to me.. it made me cry.. but smile at the same time..

Yes.. having my brother in law and his fiance in my face is really hard.. but at the same time.. i have to be happy for them.. (even tho my inlaws were very sad it wasnt us.. and mad that they let this happen).. it just makes me want to get pregnant even more!!!.. but like my OH said I can not get down each month if keeps showing up.. our time will come..

 

[roc]

you're being really strong shelby,
i don't know how you're doing it, but i think a good attitude and PMA like you have will make all the differance!
i'm positive it'll lead you to getting your !!

 

[yamkins]

even the toughest of women would bawl :'[ i just miscarried and i feel you about the whole mommy thing...first pregnancy, first miscarriage....but youll do okay