Naive

[bloodbinds]

I've not really posted a thread about my FOB before. There has been many times i've wanted to, every time he's made an excuse not to see Bella, or every time i've called CSA and they have told me they are no closer to getting a payment from him.

But i've been so made every time that i've no wanted to talk about it. Not wanted to post about it as i barely knew how to express my anger. And i suppose, a small, tiny part of me didn't want to insult Bellas father. He may be the scum of the earth in my mind, but he is still Bellas father. She is still half of him. Unfortunatly.

But i think things are starting to look up. I mean, i don't want to jinx it, or speak too soon, but i'm hoping by this time next month, not only will i have recieved my first CSA payment, but he will have spent some time with Bella (He came for her birth and went the next day and that is the only time he has seen her)

FOB is a lot of things, but as far as i know, he is not a liar. And for the last 6 months i have been asking him for CSA payments and for him to come and see Bella and though he's made excuses and things, he has never made false promises. But now, he has arranged to come see her for 4 hours on 12th June :-D and when i texted him last night about being really skint (Maternity allowance has finished and trying to find a job!) he has told me that he is setting it up with CSA and i should have had the first payment before he comes to see us next month. And he's never made that promise before, he's just made excuses that he has no money and got debts and things, so i don't know whether i'm being a fool or not, but hopefully that means things are looking up! :-D

I really really hope it's not all a lie, and i know it's stupid, but i really hope when he meets Bella and see's how amazing she is, maybe he'll want to make it a regular thing?
My personal feelings towards FOB are pretty rubbish to be honest, i hate what he did to me and what he is and the fact he's never seen Bella - but i adore my father and couldn't imagine my life without him, and i just wish Bella could have a similar experience of a father figure just as i did. I know it won't be quite the same as my parents were together for the majority of my childhood, but i'm not looking for a man in the near or distant future, so the closest i can give Bella to a father figure is my father! Lol. I just so want him to be involved in her life and i'm hoping this is the beginning!

Is that terribly naive and stupid of me?

 

[Laura2919]

For Isabella I hope he doesnt start to tell lies and for you I hope he is telling the truth about CSA!
The most important thing is is Bella and if he keeps his promise and he pays up like he is meant to then you will all be happy and Bella gets her daddy in her life.

I hope it all works out for you hun.. Keep us updated!!

 

[frankyzw]

Aww hun , that's encouraging. Light at the end of the tunnel? If he means what he's said then you're not naive. Let him prove it though. All our LOs deserve to know their fathers. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

 

[purpledahlia]

No your not Nieve or stupid!! Its really good steps forward and the fact he hasnt made promises and let you down before is a really good sign. Hopefully he will see how amazing she is and come more, and hopefully CSA will be sorted! Good luck! xx

 

[Seraphim]

Hon, I think you're amazing (and right) with the approach you take to Bella's dad. I really hope this is good news for her.

I wouldn't be surprised if meeting her brings out mixed feelings for him. It was his own choice, but he's missed a lot - and on some level that's gonna hurt when he realises.

 

[suzanne108]

Can you teach me how to be so together about the FOB situation?!

xxx

 

[tinkabells]

Hope it all goes well and he doesnt lie to you or anything etc

Good luck with it all

But i think some of us deep down, with the fob would see there children xxx