Naming baby after passed away cousin

[pumpkin90]

No longer needing advice on this. Thx everyone. Don't know how to delete posts.

 

[LavenderLove]

I'd feel honoured if it were me, but I would talk with your sister to see if she would be okay with it first. She could feel the same way as me, but like you said it may be hard on her. See how she feels about it and go from there.

 

[Radiance]

I definitely recommend you asking them first!! As it is a lovely idea, I have found many grieving parents (also been in this situation once) are hurt by it. But with these specific situations we were never asked so it felt like they were trying to replace our babies. I think it would work better if it was your baby's middle name

 

[Andypanda6570]

It's a beautiful thought, but PLEASE ask first..

I can't even go into my story anymore, it's just so draining. But my SIL did this to me, didn't ask, didn't care and lied about everything. Her baby is now 2 yrs. old and we still don't speak. I can't even describe what I feel for her, hate is to light of a word She really killed me inside and the family isn't together cause of this..I will never forgive her, it's been over 2 yrs. and I still can't look at her ...

So please ask first .. But what you are doing in memory is beautiful XO

 

[venapols]

to be honest I dont think its a wise idea at all... if their child had not died would you still do it? im guessing no

in cases like this its not 'remembrance' or 'honoring' because with in still birth no one other than the mother (possibly the father to extent) knew the child, its essentially trying to replace a child that died

I would never forgive my family if they had their happy, healthy child with my angel childs name as if mine never even existed reminding me everyday of what should of been mine - it would be a horribly hurtful thing for someone to do

I have a cousin who died of cot death and even though he had a name passed on through generations I wouldnt even consider using it for the pain it would drag up for other family members

 

[Radiance]

I have had three late losses and if someone close asked and used part of their name as a middle name I would feel honored. I would feel so much love to know that our baby meant that much to someone else. But like my original comment, make sure to ask prior, especially before discussing with others outside of your spouse. In my case, I was the last to know and found out after he was born :/

 

[threebirds]

Maybe ask if you could use name as middle name? If it was me I would feel they were trying to replace my dead baby, even if unintentionally, and Id be really upset and find it v difficult. To be honest, I think you should find your own name x

 

[Eleanor ace]

Definitely definitely ask. It maybe that your sister will be happy that you want to honour her LO this way. But it might also be far too painful.

 

[xprincessx]

You should ask. I know you mean this in a good way but if it were me it would devastate me. Everyone is different though and your sister may feel honoured

 

[Caitie44]

Our thoughts on this are irrelevant IMO, you need to ask your sister before going any further. If it were me, while I'd be touched they thought of me and my angel LO, I wouldn't feel comfortable with the idea of someone I'm close to using the same name. Perhaps you could use the name as a middle name, if your sister is okay with it?

 

[KylasBaby]

Can't say anything different than anyone else besides, ask how your sister would feel. I personally would find it extremely hard to be around a child named after my angel. Almost like they had a healthy xxx while my xxx is an angel. It would be really hard for me. MAYBE as a middle name, but it would make me uncomfortable. Definitely see what her thoughts are.

 

[smoore]

I would for sure ask your sister how she would feel and as hard as it may be honor that without any hard feelings.

My sister got pregnant and was due a year nearly to the day that my son was suppose to be due. We lost him at 30 weeks. I was extremely nervous she was going to ask to use his name as a middle name, because I would not have been okay with that.

 

[minties]

I can can see your good intentions, but if I were your sister I would probably be utterly horrified.

 

[staralfur]

I agree, ask. I would be really upset if someone did this, regardless of their intentions. I think I'd be okay with using the middle name, but definitely not first name.

 

[MrsT3813]

How sweet! But definitely ask first!! I would feel completely blindsided if my sister did that without asking. I personally would be honored if someone did that, because the beautiful name would live on, someone else might not feel the same. So make sure you can live with the answer!

 

[Pearls18]

As others say you need to ask, people will view this in different ways, some may find it a lovely tribute whereas others may find it erases the history of the other child because you wouldn't (usually) use a name already taken, middle name tends to be more common I think but either way you need to have an open discussion and really make sure they let their true feelings be known and let them think about it. For me I would be touched at the thought but it wouldn't feel appropriate, but we would all have different feelings.

 

[Kiki1993]

Same as others said, I would ask. If we have a boy the middle name is going to be James for my dad who passed, or Matthew who was my friend that died too soon and for girls we are using my current surname. But middle names and first names are a different ball game, in any case i would be annoyed/angry/upset/ if my sister called her child after my lost child as a first name as I would see it as a constant reminder and what could have been and I would see it as trying to wipe over my child and replace her kind of thing. Maybe a middle name would be more appropriate?

 

[shanny]

Ask /Discuss - Middle name feels a better option

Not sure I would cope with the lost babies name being in constant use.

 

[smoore]

I think middle depends on your family. I know I still wouldn't want middle in our family, because everyone uses front and middle names a lot.

 

[babydoodle]

I would think that naming a baby after another's who has passed away would be extremely difficult for them. Your intentions are heart felt but I think it would be so painful to call the baby by that name knowing her baby didn't make it. I would honor her in a more subtle way. .. like maybe use a name with a similar meaning or another form of the name. For example. . If it was Katherine you could use Kaitlyn or Kate. But I'd check with how she feels about this for sure.