Naming Father on Birth Certificate/Giving Baby Father's Last Name?

[mommy2be412]

For you single mommies, did you (or do you plan to) list the father on the birth certificate and did you (or do you plan to) give the baby your last name or his?

Also, if father is not listed on the birth certificate when enrolling a child in school, flying out of state, etc will that affect anything? I tend to believe if father is on the birth certificate and not with me when I take the child to do these things, then it might be an issue but if he's not listed then I tend to think it wouldn't be an issue, any thoughts on this? Baby will definitely be getting my last name. I'm in the US.

 

[Dream.dream]

Honestly it makes no differnece as to the fathers rights or yours if you list him or not .

If he applies for rights of any kind or you apply for child support it would end up on there anyways . But if you don't list him you may have to pay for part of a DNA test to prove it.

As for traveling usually you'll need a custody order anyways if your traveling out of the country with the child regardless of whether he's listed or not .

Honestly save yourself some trouble in case you have to go to court and just put him on . Chance are you'll need to eventually anyways

 

[Mummy1995]

^ sounds completely different to UK! (Might be wrong though) as my FOB is not on DDs birth certificate I am free to fly out the country and do what I want unless he went to court. Although I had planned he was going to be put on it. But for me I'm so glad He hasn't turned up, it's a lot easier this way. DD also has my surname, and she was always going to! X

 

[Dezireey]

^As above, completely different here in the UK.

If the Father's name is not on the Birth Certificate in the UK that pretty much means no rights or say in anything whatsoever, unless the Father then goes to court, gets DNA testing done and the courts then grant him the right to put his name on the Birth Certificate and then he has all equal rights etc.

In my opinion, it's less hassle, less stress and far easier to leave a 'problem' FOB's name OFF a Birth Certificate than to put it on there from the get go. Much easier to put it on there at a later date if wished (e.g FOB finally mans up a few years later and becomes a good Daddy?) than it is to take the damned name off it when you e.g have an abusive ex who won't let you leave the country and sometimes has the gall to fight for full custody.

Not sure if this applies in the US but this scenario below could happen here in the UK. I shall give you an example of why keeping their names off the birth certificate is more good than bad.

Say that a woman has an abusive or waste of space ex, the father to her child. If he dumps her when pregnant/ cheats on her /hits her etc etc but demands rights with his kid/s then if she obliges him and puts his name on that birth cert, that man can just come up to her in the street, take her child out of his pushchair in broad daylight and take him home (e.g. basically kidnapping) but because his name is on that Birth Cert, the court will see him as having equal rights and SHE will then have to fight the courts to get her child back and this could take WEEKS!. It is madness but that is the law in favour of the father. He could be someone that hasn't even seen his kids from the day they were conceived but he can get away with doing something like that.

So.....sorry this is long but I can't express enough (if this law is similar in the US?) how leaving a Dad's name off the Birth Cert in the first place is far easier and safer than taking it off again.

 

[Ceejay123]

On the other hand in the uk it's not too difficult for a guy to get his name forced on. X

 

[mommy2be412]

I think that's how it is in the US too but not 100% sure. The poster from Canada, I've never head of those issues for someone here in the US.

 

[Dream.dream]

I think that's how it is in the US too but not 100% sure. The poster from Canada, I've never head of those issues for someone here in the US.

I'm from Canada but I have a fairly good understanding of how American courts work. I work in the legal field and I've read many many American family law texts and trial transcripts as its a big interest of mine .

Basically it really makes no dofference if his name is in there or not . If he wants rights all he has to do is apply for theming being on the birth certificate or not only means the difference between needing a DNA test or not .

If your going to want child support putting him on means it might be easier to get it from him. As for travel to get a passport for your baby you'll need a court document saying your the only guardian and have the right I travel with the baby if dads not listed

However it's a huge misconception people have that a birth certificate has a lot to do with rights .

Most people never have issues like this because really the travel thing only comes a problem if your traveling outside the country and someone asks ,

 

[Dezireey]

I think that's how it is in the US too but not 100% sure. The poster from Canada, I've never head of those issues for someone here in the US.

I'm from Canada but I have a fairly good understanding of how American courts work. I work in the legal field and I've read many many American family law texts and trial transcripts as its a big interest of mine .

Basically it really makes no dofference if his name is in there or not . If he wants rights all he has to do is apply for theming being on the birth certificate or not only means the difference between needing a DNA test or not .

If your going to want child support putting him on means it might be easier to get it from him. As for travel to get a passport for your baby you'll need a court document saying your the only guardian and have the right I travel with the baby if dads not listed

However it's a huge misconception people have that a birth certificate has a lot to do with rights .

Most people never have issues like this because really the travel thing only comes a problem if your traveling outside the country and someone asks ,

Hun, I don't understand how this system works? If the father isn't even known to a woman or perhaps she had a holiday fling abroad etc, etc, it's completely impossible to go through stuff like getting the Dad's permission for things anyway surely?

In the UK, you don't need his name on the birth cert to claim child support. He can contest this but a DNA test is done (if he requests it) and then the CSA take action to get money off him. The name can still be left off the birth cert even if he is paying maintenance.

What I was trying to say in my post earlier is that if you leave an absent / elusive FOB off the birth cert then you won't have any problems with permission for things, rights etc UNLESS the FOB then comes forward and demands those rights, so yes, you are right to some respect, the rights can end up being given to the father eventually if so wished. I just think it saves an inordinate amount of hassle if the name is left off first to avoid problems. Just imagine a woman gets an FOB to sign the birth cert and then he just buggers off and disappears like he did before, never to be seen or heard of again? How the hell can she take her child abroad unless she gets his permission?

Better to be safe than sorry IMHO. If you have any doubts about a flaky or useless FOB, then just don't do it. Its bad enough that the man does the dirty on you, without him having what I call 'silent' rights over a child he e.g never sees, never interested in nor is he ever going to see again etc.

Not having a go Dream, but UK law seems waaay different than American law. It seems a bit unfair for you guys.

 

[teal]

I didn't add my ex to the birth certificate. Although over here if you're not married the "father" has to be present when registering the birth. I have no contact with my ex, I do not claim child support, I tried to give him a last chance to be involved but I received nothing but abuse.

I agree with what was said above - after not bothering or contributing all he has to do is take me to court to have his name added. Absolutely shocking.

 

[sue_88]

Millie's Dad will not be listed on her birth certificate and she will have my last name.

I'm not claiming anything from him through CSA, but if I were it wouldn't matter as I have enough details for the CSA to hunt him down but I live more than enough of a comfortable life without the need of a mans support and she doesn't need his cash anyway.

 

[teal]

Millie's Dad will not be listed on her birth certificate and she will have my last name.

I'm not claiming anything from him through CSA, but if I were it wouldn't matter as I have enough details for the CSA to hunt him down but I live more than enough of a comfortable life without the need of a mans support and she doesn't need his cash anyway.

I felt that way too, I didn't need or want his money.

Ps: happy due date, I hope she arrives soon xx

 

[Dream.dream]

If someone doesn't know who the father is or can't find them then they just have to go to court getting an order stating they are the child's only guardian and have the right to do so. It doesn't always happen but it can if someone at the registry office decided to enforce it when your applying for a passport ( it only matters if your going out of the country) and doesn't come up all the time but CAN happen and is a pain in the ass. My cousin lives in Texas and had a one night stand and doesn't know who her sons father is , she had to go and just get an order stating that and that she was his only guardian to get his passport to come to Canada to visit us .

I was just saying it doesn't matter either way . Putting him on it doesn't automatically give him rights here and having him not on there doesn't keep him from having rights either if he wants them .

Some moms here think that it's some how will keep the dad from having rights for the child but it doesn't if he wants them he just has to go to court apply for them. So really to me it just seems like a petty thing to keep him off of it .

 

[mommy2be412]

I have never heard of anyone in the US having to go to court to get an order saying you are the only guardian. If the mother is the only one listed on the birth certificate, she IS the child's only guardian.

In my case, the father will not even try to get a DNA test as he is worthless and has already denied the baby, and he is poor so I won't even bother getting a few dollars from him for child support, just isn't worth the stress.

In my state, if the mother is unmarried she can't even list a father on the birth certificate anyway unless both mother and father sign a proof of paternity.

 

[lovejoy]

In the UK the dad has to be present to sign the birth certificate in order to be listed as the father useless he is married to the mother.

If he is on the birth certificate he does have 50/50 rights and is an equal parent to the mother. He can not kidnap the child, but if you hand the child over for an access visit and the he doesn't return the child the law will do nothing as it is his child too.

I believe men should have rights to their child, but they need to review this rule as some parents are spiteful and cruel when hurt, they don't care about the affects on their child just their need for revenge or to gain control and remove a child from the resident parent.

My first child has her dad's name listed, it was only an issues when we flew to his country to visit his family, because I was alone they asked me his location etc, we was together at the time. I now have a residents order from her so going on holiday, signing her up for school and him trying to run off are not a problem.

His Name is not on our second child's birth certificate, but she still has the same surname as you can call baby whatever you want which is awesome. I was concerned about the second having issues about why her name is different and where she came from etc.
Do what's best for you and baby, if his one of those pain in the ass guys that's threatening you or making you jump through hoops telling you you have to ask his permission to take baby out of town etc it's a no brainer.

 

[Ceejay123]

Have things changed in the last 20 years? When I was little I had my dads surname, he disappeared. My mum changed my name.. (Though it took her two years to prove he wasn't around) x

 

[sue_88]

The people who have parental responsibility over a child, can change their name by deed poll before their 16th birthday.

https://www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html

In my case, I could call my daughter what I want, then change it without anyone elses permission as I will be the only one with 'parental responsibility'

 

[Dezireey]

If he is on the birth certificate he does have 50/50 rights and is an equal parent to the mother. He can not kidnap the child, but if you hand the child over for an access visit and the he doesn't return the child the law will do nothing as it is his child too.

Yes, a man can kidnap his own child. But it is not called kidnapping because he has equal rights if named on the birth certificate. Police are not interested in the background or whether the father left the mother penniless , cheated on her etc etc. If a man decides to take his child off the street and drive them back to his place and keep his child there, the mother can't just get the police to run after him and get the baby back if he is the named father. She needs to get a court order to get the child back (which invariably does happen but it doesn't happen overnight). This has happened many times in the UK. e.g mother won't grant access to father on a particular weekend or decides out of spite to not give him baby for weeks...Dad finds them and therefore snatches baby out of pram and buggers off. It can happen and it is not easy for the Mother to then 'snatch' her baby back there and then. The father is obviously cautioned and told he will probably be arrested if he pulls such a stunt again but yes, a small minority of fathers have been known to do this.

 

[lovejoy]

If he is on the birth certificate he does have 50/50 rights and is an equal parent to the mother. He can not kidnap the child, but if you hand the child over for an access visit and the he doesn't return the child the law will do nothing as it is his child too.

Yes, a man can kidnap his own child. But it is not called kidnapping because he has equal rights if named on the birth certificate. Police are not interested in the background or whether the father left the mother penniless , cheated on her etc etc. If a man decides to take his child off the street and drive them back to his place and keep his child there, the mother can't just get the police to run after him and get the baby back if he is the named father. She needs to get a court order to get the child back (which invariably does happen but it doesn't happen overnight). This has happened many times in the UK. e.g mother won't grant access to father on a particular weekend or decides out of spite to not give him baby for weeks...Dad finds them and therefore snatches baby out of pram and buggers off. It can happen and it is not easy for the Mother to then 'snatch' her baby back there and then. The father is obviously cautioned and told he will probably be arrested if he pulls such a stunt again but yes, a small minority of fathers have been known to do this.

I was told different by the police, they said he can't pram snatch or "kidnap" the child out of your house etc but if you leave the child with him for weekly visit and the dad then turns around and says well I'm not giving the kid back to you they have the right to do so

 

[Dezireey]

If he is on the birth certificate he does have 50/50 rights and is an equal parent to the mother. He can not kidnap the child, but if you hand the child over for an access visit and the he doesn't return the child the law will do nothing as it is his child too.

Yes, a man can kidnap his own child. But it is not called kidnapping because he has equal rights if named on the birth certificate. Police are not interested in the background or whether the father left the mother penniless , cheated on her etc etc. If a man decides to take his child off the street and drive them back to his place and keep his child there, the mother can't just get the police to run after him and get the baby back if he is the named father. She needs to get a court order to get the child back (which invariably does happen but it doesn't happen overnight). This has happened many times in the UK. e.g mother won't grant access to father on a particular weekend or decides out of spite to not give him baby for weeks...Dad finds them and therefore snatches baby out of pram and buggers off. It can happen and it is not easy for the Mother to then 'snatch' her baby back there and then. The father is obviously cautioned and told he will probably be arrested if he pulls such a stunt again but yes, a small minority of fathers have been known to do this.

I was told different by the police, they said he can't pram snatch or "kidnap" the child out of your house etc but if you leave the child with him for weekly visit and the dad then turns around and says well I'm not giving the kid back to you they have the right to do so

If the mother refuses to give the father his weekly visit or withholds access even though the courts have e.g given joint custody or particular access rights... On that day father is due to have his child, he can take his child and the mother will have to explain why she is not granting him access etc etc, all the while he has baby at his house etc etc. it's happened to my cousin and she couldn't get her daughter back that day, she had to wait a week! He was cautioned though and told he would get arrested immediately if he ever did anything like that again. So a Father can get away ( sort of) with doing it once okay.

It's unfair, wrong but again, yes, it can happen and it has.