Natural birth after difficult first birth...

[Butterfly89]

In short, very difficult birth with my son where I pushed over 4 hours and he finally wrestled his way out. The student doctor botched my stitches. So now some remaining problems.

If I had another baby, I am strongly considering natural birth and having a midwife to advocate for my wishes. But I'm a bit afraid of doing permanent damage to my body. To be honest, my pelvic floor is weaker but not horrible. I do have some miiiild stress incontinence (mostly just a few drops, TMI lol) but I have definite weakness despite doing kegels before, during and after pregnancy. It's nothing too bad though and I hear a lot of people say they bounced back after one baby.

Do things (pelvic floor) really get ruined after two babies? I am trying to find stories online but all I end up finding is arguments between vaginal vs. section moms about who is tighter, better, braver, etc etc. Nonsense! I keep hearing scary things like "it's like a bucket down there after two kids" "I pee myself every time I go to yoga class" "my husband left me for the 20 year old nanny" etc lol. I don't want that.

Is it inevitable or can you really bounce back again after two?

 

[Stacey_Ann]

I had a natural birth with my son which was relatively problem free (I also took a long time to be stitched due to the MW not doing it right the first time and it was only 2nd degree ).

I don't feel any different down there, it doesn't look any different and my husband assures me I don't feel any different.

I certainly don't have a "bucket" lol, it still feels the same when we have sex etc.

I'm relatively confident that there's no reason why things shouldn't go this way again after this little one arrives xx

 

[mum140381]

i have had 6 natural births and im fine hun x

 

[ParisJeTadore]

Mum140381, wow, six births! I admire you're bravery!!

After my last birth I had a very strong dragging feeling for quite some time, a bit of incontinence and things just didn't look right. I seriously thought I had done permanent damage! But reality is, our bodies are pretty resilient. Those feelings did, eventually, go away, as did the incontinence and I honestly see no difference to my lady parts at all now. Minus another pregnancy atm, I feel exactly the way I did before I was ever pregnant. I'm sure your body will do great! Just give it time

 

[ClairAye]

I have never wee'd myself! Honestly FOB said it did feel different after having two but I didn't think it was THAT bad! Certainly not a bucket!!! Haha.

 

[bdb84]

I think that it's key for you to find a birthing position that works with gravity (think squatting or on all fours) as opposed to flat on back, which goes against gravity and makes you more prone to tearing.

I had a large episiotomy (without my permission) with my son and it really scared me off future births, but I found an OB who is against episiotomies (unless an emergency presents itself where baby needs out ASAP) and he was amazing during delivery. He took the time to help stretch my perineum and in the end I only needed two stitches after delivering my daughter, who weighed a pound more than my son.

All of that said, I'm just fine after delivering two. Even after a near nine pound baby.