Natural Parenting Young Mums (and the young at heart!)

[T-Bex]

Do any of you find that people your own age find you odd for your parenting choices? I know that BFing rates are the lowest in under 25's, but sometimes I get so frustrated with mums in my age range. BFing is NOT weird! And cloths nappies? Well, they make a nappy change more tolerable (as well as helping the planet) if they have some cute cloth... And co-sleeping mean extra baby cuddles, so where is the downside in extra cuddles?! Anyone else find this?

 

[jen1604]

Not really to be honest.I expected people to find it a bit weird but my one friend my age (21) with a son thinks its all awesome and is looking into cloth for her next baby

And my friends without babies are a million percent supportive,always saying how cosy Lennon looks in his sling,holding bags for me so I can wear the sling easier without straining myself and saying how cute the cloth nappies are.

I've been really pleasantly surprised!! I think its sad that so many of the 'younger' parents I hear about seem to be so against natural parenting x

 

[xerinx]

See i totally agree! Ive just turned 25 and everyone younger than me laughs at me (even publicly sometimes!) I get strange looks at clinic from the 'younger' mums when i change logans nappies and i get looks from people when i wear him out. But ive also had older people react the same too maybe its just my area!

 

[dougie]

for me it totally depends on who it is
i get the worst remarks from the older people to be honest, but then i dont know THAT many young people with babies.
i have one friend who i went to school with who thinks cloth is DISGUSTING and that carrying a baby is so stupid why would you want to make them clingy and give yourself a bad back!

i just shrug it off though
its my baby and i do it my way
if you dont like it dont look/comment

 

[lepaskilf]

Before my lo was born a girl in work (the youngest there - about 21) said to me "you're not gonna breastfeed are you? It's wierd!" she manage to piss of all the mothers and myself in one second lol! I don't think bad of here for saying it, she has no children therefore is uneducated in the benefits. Luckily where I live the majority are natural parents thru and thru, you're in the minority if you bottle feed and use sposies! This can also be a problem as my friend was scared to gonto baby club because she bottle fed but everyone was so supportive which was great for her!

 

[Lynz16]

I think that I've had both good & bad reactions from people of all ages, I do get some funny looks at the baby clinic when I appear without a buggy or pram lol but sometimes it's from the staff as well as the other parents.

My doctor told me when I went for my post natal check that she was shocked that I was still bfing as she's not seen anyone of my age (I'm 24) manage to keep in up more than a few weeks in our area and that was only at 8 weeks after the birth! So far I've not found anyone local who uses reusable nappies either and the HV absolutely loved it lol, she said she'll be going about telling people how cute they are now lol

I think that it's probably more to do with how people are 'brought up' to perceive things as I've had no negative reactions from my side of the family as all the women have bfed so don't have any problem with it whereas I constantly get comments made from hubby's side and they find bfing offensive etc etc etc so find it hard to spend a lot of time with them due to that but I believe it's just because so far no-one in their family has tried any of the things I'm doing and I really hope that I can give some good influence to the two younger girls on that side of the family to show that you can do it natural if you want to

 

[Char&Bump-x]

My SIL is a month younger than me and is really rude about me using cloth, 'disgusting, dirty, stupid' are her opinions.

My HV at kyla's one year check up said 'Oh. You're using real nappies?' in a really surprised way, as if she didn't expect someone my age to even know about cloth.

When I first started using cloth (in July) a friend two years younger than me started using cloth too, i loved having a cloth friend lol but sadly she gave up (and GAVE me 15 nappies on tuesday )

A lot of people say kylas nappies are cute, but then go on to say 'i'd never use them though'

 

[Callie-xoxox]

I agree and disagree.
I get alot of "your crazy cloth is so gross"
And I also get alot of " that's great your so young and trying out new things"
I am 19 and I BF babywear cloth diaper. And I cant imagine doing it anyother way.
I do take a stroller when I go shopping as I dont drove and need to put my groceries somewhere. I baby wear when I am just out walking or with some one that has a car.

I think older peolpe jsut thnk young moms try to do everything the "easy" way.
Imo I think being young we are more willing to try new things.

xxx

 

[nervouspains]

I think some people may think BF is 'weird' because breasts are seen as a sexual object, not baby feeding xxx

 

[Eala]

I think some people may think BF is 'weird' because breasts are seen as a sexual object, not baby feeding xxx

Something which I don't think a lot of people consider is that, statistically speaking, 1 in 3 women will have experienced some form of sexual abuse. Whether that is rape (whatever the circumstances) or childhood sexual abuse. Obviously if you are talking about a specific age group, then the statistic will change, but there are still way more cases of sexual abuse (particularly childhood) than most people like to think about

And trust me, if your associations with your breasts include pain, humiliation, shame, disgust, and the myriad of other emotions which come along with sexual trauma, then breastfeeding can be a horrendous experience.

Buuuuuut since no-one likes to talk about it (healthcare professionals included), there is practically zero awareness, much less support.

ETA - since many women partially or completely suppress their memories of any kind of abuse (particularly childhood abuse), they can be left not really understanding why they have such overwhelmingly negative responses to breastfeeding, or even the idea of breastfeeding. So they get tagged with this idea of "Oh, you just think of your breasts as being sexual, that's sad..." when it really might not be the case.

Sorry for the OT rant, but it is something I feel quite strongly about.

Back on topic, I just turned 28 but am about 19 in my head One of my best friends uses cloth (so I blame her for my addiction). I've not had any negativity from my peers, so I guess I'm quite lucky

 

[Rachel_C]

I don't know about younger parents and cloth, I tend to think that younger people are more aware of environmental issues. I've spoken to a few children about cloth nappies and they've been very quick to see the benefits of them and a couple have said they'll use cloth with their babies (in about 20 years!) Hopefully the young mums of the future will 'get it'!

 

[Kota]

I agree Rach, my little sister is 16 and spends a lot of time with us, I've taken the time to talk to her about the benifits of BF'ing in a language that makes sense to her, I've let her help changing nappies, picking out and designing them so she can see how easy and fun cloth can be, she's been around for meal times and has seen BLW in action and she knows we co-sleep and baby wear, she's even worn P a few times herself and loves it.

I'm hoping that in years to come when its time for her to have kids, she remembers what she's seeing now and it influences how she parents too.

 

[lynnikins]

my sister is in to natural parenting as are a few friends back in NZ but out here my " young mums group " well out of the 5 of us 4 started out BF ( one tandem feeding her toddler and 7month old ) and none started in cloth although i am now nearly full time cloth and one other mum has a few cloth nappys but not the dedication to do it full time she has them caus they are pretty, now as our "babies" are 6months old then 2 of us are still Ft BF and 2 are combi feeding and one still with the FF she started with. I do always get lots of comments about the boys cloth but positive ones lol mainly they dont understand the extra work they see as unessacary lol, we have had another young BF mum join the group, im the oldest at nearly 25 n the youngest is 19 in our group our kids range from 4 yrs -5 1/2 months

 

[nervouspains]

I think some people may think BF is 'weird' because breasts are seen as a sexual object, not baby feeding xxx

Something which I don't think a lot of people consider is that, statistically speaking, 1 in 3 women will have experienced some form of sexual abuse. Whether that is rape (whatever the circumstances) or childhood sexual abuse. Obviously if you are talking about a specific age group, then the statistic will change, but there are still way more cases of sexual abuse (particularly childhood) than most people like to think about

And trust me, if your associations with your breasts include pain, humiliation, shame, disgust, and the myriad of other emotions which come along with sexual trauma, then breastfeeding can be a horrendous experience.

Buuuuuut since no-one likes to talk about it (healthcare professionals included), there is practically zero awareness, much less support.

ETA - since many women partially or completely suppress their memories of any kind of abuse (particularly childhood abuse), they can be left not really understanding why they have such overwhelmingly negative responses to breastfeeding, or even the idea of breastfeeding. So they get tagged with this idea of "Oh, you just think of your breasts as being sexual, that's sad..." when it really might not be the case.

Sorry for the OT rant, but it is something I feel quite strongly about.

Back on topic, I just turned 28 but am about 19 in my head One of my best friends uses cloth (so I blame her for my addiction). I've not had any negativity from my peers, so I guess I'm quite lucky

I never thought of it from that angle- I just meant from mens mags etc, they are advertised as sexual, not for feeding a baby, so I think some people, men in particular my feel a bit awarkd (sp?) around it- Although I had the best support from my dad- he said 'It is the most natural thing in the world' ...My 10yr old brother thought it was a bit strange, but then, he'd never been around a bf-ing women before xx

 

[Eala]

Aye sorry, I did get what you meant! Wasn't having a go at you at all, was just your comment which got me thinking With it being late and my joined-up thinking not working, didn't explain that very well

 

[nervouspains]

No Eala, it was fine I never though of it from that way, so you made a good point x

 

[MissMamma]

I think older peolpe jsut thnk young moms try to do everything the "easy" way.
Imo I think being young we are more willing to try new things.

xxx

i totally agree, people aren't necessarily rude to me when i tell them i'm going to breastfeed and use cloth but they are all suprised, which is quite annoying really as there are so many stereotypes about teenage/young mothers that tbh just aren't true in the majority of cases.
it just makes me more determiined to prove them all wrong tho.
my friends are all completely cool bout me using cloth and breastfeeding but its the same with all them "its cool, and cloth is cute but i would never do it"

 

[LolaAnn]

yeah the area I'm in people think I am pretty damn weird, the HV told me it was nice to see a success story for exclusively breastfeeding, that was at 3 months old and made me feel really bad for everyone in our area not getting the support they need. People have stopped and stared at me while wearing Reuben in his moby, however I think part of that is my fault because it is almost flesh coloured hahah so can look a bit dubious! No one has said anything about the cloth nappoes yet though

lynnikins where is your young mums group? I'm also from NZ! xx

 

[T-Bex]

Until I moved down here (Cornwall), I had never met a mum my age who BF. The usual thing that they said, was that it was too much effort... And then tended to comment on it being weird, after I leave, apparently...

 

[jen1604]

Until I moved down here (Cornwall), I had never met a mum my age who BF. The usual thing that they said, was that it was too much effort... And then tended to comment on it being weird, after I leave, apparently...

Bex where in Cornwall are you hon?