Nearly 37 - TTC First Child - Support Needed!

[mbovary]

Hi All,

I'm currently 36 years old. My husband and I started TTC in February of this year. We got pregnant, but I miscarried at nearly 11 weeks. I had my first AF approximately 1 month after the miscarriage (we didn't TTC prior to this). We are now TTC, but I feel quite low, and I'm finding it hard to keep positive. There could be many BFN's in the future! I'm just looking for some support - so I can stay on the right track.

I am going on holiday soon, and my cousin's wife is pregnant (hers is only 7 weeks older than mine would have been). I know I'm going to find it hard, but I promised my father I would take him to see the family. Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!

 

[EverythingXd]

Hi Mbovary, welcome to babyandbump.

I'm sorry for your loss I know it's hard to look at the positives after a MC (I had 2 last year), but you conceived very quickly so fingers crossed you will conceive quickly again now you are TTC again, and that this time you get a take-home baby.

At 36, you really do still have lots of time - I bet it doesn't feel like that A lot of people seem to conceive when they go on holiday so that could be your lucky charm!

Are you taking any supplements to help? Folic acid is the only thing you 'need' to take when TTC, lots of women (including me) opt for a pre-natal multivitamin that includes folic acid.

Wishing you lots of luck x

 

[mbovary]

Hi There,

I too am sorry to hear about your losses.

Thank you for your kind words. I think I just get scared sometimes...it's easy to fear the worst, after an emotional event like this.

I heaped a lot of pressure on myself and DH this month so we could conceive again. As a result, I don't believe we will. Actually, I just want to relax ... stop worrying so much about whether I'm ovulating etc.

I'm taking a lot of supplements ... in fact, I'm starting to hear myself rattle. I may have substituted alcohol for supplements!

 

[EverythingXd]

Haha, now I think you might actually need a little alcohol to help you relax

I'm (cautiously) 5 wks + 3 days pregnant now, and I'm 41 and lost an ovary last January when I had my ectopic, so compared with me I'm sure your chances are very good haha!

Good to see you are rattling with supplements. I added Maca (to balance my old hormones) and COQ10 (to improve egg quality) 6 weeks before I conceived, and I really do think they helped me.

 

[mbovary]

That's fantastic! I am so pleased for you!

I think you may be right about the alcohol!

I added Maca to my diet shortly after the miscarriage a couple of months ago, and I recently started on COQ10 Ubiquinol. I'll try just about anything if it helps me get a BFP!

How about your diet now? Is there anything special you're taking? I hope you're getting plenty of rest. You're an inspiration!

Sometimes I get so angry at my mindset.
I can't give up because I know what I want now. It might take a while to get there, that's all.

 

[EverythingXd]

Ah thank you! I have no special diet, no. I'm trying to eat a little healthier but it really wasn't great before because I don't like veg and don't eat enough fruit either, so I'm just making sure I have more fruit. I usually get at least 3 of my 5 a day I reckon.

And as for rest... haha, you'll see from my sig that I have 3 and 5 year old boys, so no I don't rest!

I stopped taking the Maca and COQ10 as soon as I got my BFP. But then I got a bit panicky about my hormones so I consulted Dr Google and found that vitamin B6 also regulates hormones like Maca does, but many doctors prescribe it for morning sickness so I've therefore started taking a low dose B6 supplement.

Don't worry too much about mindset, it's natural to worry about TTC after a MC but I believe as long as you're not worrying to the point that your cycle is affected, it's all healthy and will not affect whether you will conceive.

I have a really good feeling for you, hope it happens very soon xx

 

[mbovary]

No, I don't suppose you do get much rest with two under 5's!

I have been stressing myself out lately, but after my miscarriage (when we weren't TTC), I took Evening Primrose Oil to help with keeping my AF regular. I've stopped taking it now I think I've ovulated (I didn't temp, just watched for other signs).

Some mornings I wake up and I feel fine, other mornings I am tearful. And yet I know it's completely unrealistic to put this kind of pressure on myself and DH. We need to relax to give ourselves the best chance of conceiving!

I am very happy you're pregnant again and my thoughts are with you. I think keeping busy might be a blessing in disguise.

I'm afraid I didn't take care of myself for many years before TTC. I drank too much and smoked as well (though I wasn't a heavy smoker). I've now done a complete u-turn since the miscarriage. I've cut out alcohol and cigarettes and upped my intake of vitamins and minerals from food and supplements combined. I'm hoping it might make a difference.

I live in the UK, so I've recently been trying something called, "Bioglan Supergreens" (it's very expensive however) and, "Complete Greens" - (the cheaper version). This comes in powder form and gives you more than your five a day (though the Complete Greens tastes foul as hell). I'm also pretty terrible with eating fruit and vegetables on a daily basis, so I've been using this to give me a boost.

I want to thank you again for all your kind words. It means a lot. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about all this. My DH thinks I'm getting neurotic (he's not wrong) and I don't know who else to turn to. We only BD'ed until cycle day 15 this month, but I've been ridiculously symptom spotting - when actually a) it's too early and b) I don't even know if I ovulated or if this cycle will be normal (I'm waiting for my 2nd AF after miscarriage now).

I know I need to 'chill out'. The best advice I can give myself is to still keep TTC, but not make it the biggest priority in my life right now. If there's a problem, I'll go see my doctor. What else can I do?

Anyway, that's enough of my ranting for today. Have a great day and catch up with you soon.

 

[vermeil]

*big hugs* it's normal to take 6+ months to conceive. 12 months is more the average. 18 months is perfectly normal too. Less than 3 months is very rare. This isn't an exact science! Just putting things in perspective.

It took us 7 months when I was 37 and 18 months (and ivf, was free so why not) when I was 41.

Do try to relax, hard I know but if you're being proactive, tracking cycle, doing research, supplements, exercise etc you're doing plenty already so stressing won't help more, if that makes sense?

Good luck

 

[mbovary]

Hi There,

Thanks for your reply. I know I'm worrying unnecessarily. I got pregnant the first time we TTC (February 2016), probably because I was so relaxed! I was due to go on holiday in early March, and it never occurred to me I would get pregnant so quickly. Losing our first was one of the hardest things my husband and I have been though. The repercussions are devastating.

Now I'm super stressed so it's not going to be conducive to baby making! I agree, I need to stop worrying and go with the flow.

 

[EverythingXd]

Hi hun, as much as you tell yourself not to worry, you'll still end up worrying. For me, it's on my mind pretty much constantly... TTC before, wondering what was wrong, what I could do to fix things, and now I'm pregnant, worrying about what can go wrong and how I can prevent it.

I find I can't stop worrying, but I can put things in perspective. Like for me, age is totally against me and my fertility is obviously declining, but I'm lucky enough to already have 2 happy healthy boys and if that's my lot then I've not done too badly!

For you, I think the perspective is that you still most likely have several fertile years ahead of you, you seem to conceive fairly easily so it doesn't look like your fertility is already on the decline, and you are clued up - some women don't even understand about ovulation timing, let alone supplements or nutrition.

I'm also in the UK, and I've never heard of that green stuff I'll look it up, although I know I won't be able to stomach the one you say is foul-tasting!