Nearly 4 months and still up 3hrly overnight! Help!

[Julesillini8]

Please read the book 'healthy sleep habits, happy child' by Marc weisbluth MD. Maybe it's different here in the states, but it is encouraged to teach your child to self sooth. My first would wake, but she was able to go right back to sleep.
I know each baby is different so I'm rolling with it with this second baby. She has actually been back to 4 hr stretches now the past few nights, and that seems perfect at this time for her age. I will be expecting her to sleep through the night at some point though, as I feel that it reasonable. I don't know any of my friends who want to go to their 1 1/2 yr old every night. Being able to sooth and get lots of quality sleep is healthy for my children. Good luck with yours and getting up all of the time. It does get better with time.

 

[Julesillini8]

My baby is now 8 wks, so about 2 months. I know she's young, but she had been going consistently 8 hrs at night, and this past week or so has been waking every 3 hrs to feed.. Ah! I see you all think its normal, but how frustrating when she was doing awesome. If she made it those long stretches before, she obviously doesn't need to feed..... She's a chunky baby... Not sure if I should feed her or just try to settle her, as she has trouble soothing back to sleep during the night it seems.

Just wanted to point out that this is likely untrue. Things don't just get better and better and better. There are 8 yr olds who go through stretches of waking up at night feeling thirsty. Shoot, I have stretches where I wake up more frequently at night in need of liquids. It waxes and wanes and can be affected by that day's temperature, activity, what kind of solids have been eating (in babies old enough for solids), growth spurts, illness, growing pains, teething, new skill development, etc. It's all normal, and honestly, just something you have to deal with and keep trucking along. 3 hr stretches is quite good at any time the first 1-1.5 years, imho. Bedsharing definitely helps, though. That's why such a large percentage of breastfeeders bedshare, either openly or in secret.
I frequently say it's not about decreasing the number of night wakings, it's about decreasing the impact of the night wakings you have. That's how you get through that first year or so with sanity.

Yeah you could be right. But she was doing 8 hr stretches consistently.. My first daughter went 8 hrs from 6 wks until 10 wks, then started going 12 hrs from 10 wks On. We've never looked back. Never ever has she woken at night, none the less fed at night after that. Maybe she is the exception though! I guess I have high expectations for my second baby, and it was looking like she was on track. Last night she did two 4 hr stretches at night, maybe we are slowly getting back to the longer times at night who knows. I know babies go through phases and each baby is different, so who really knows.
I'm not one who die hard believes that night feedings are vital. I know some people are. My first rarely fed at night and her weight was always in the 95 percentile, so not a starving baby. Same with my second she is over 15 lbs at 8 wks.... I guess I have to just keep trucking along, and what baby wants to do baby will do.

Feeding at night has SO much more effect on the childs WHOLE development. Its not just to do with food. Its about security, building trust, figuring out can they depend on you to meet their needs, emotional development. Weather you believe they need to feed or not at night doesnt change the fact that almost ALL babies will wake sevral times a night for up to the first 2 years. Its how they were designed. Obv there are exceptions to the rule, with anything. Maybe your first child was that exception to the rule.

Most babies find a sleep pattern somewhere around 8-12weeks. Regress about 4months for a month or so, then find new pattern.
Regress again around 6 months. Find a new pattern.
Regress again around Crawling/Walking/Language/Seperation Awareness ect.

Most babies regress around growth spurts, developmental leaps, wonder weeks ect. Choosing not to bf at night is your choice. Not one I would recommend. Yours none the less but please research why your baby is responding to development this way rather than just decide she doesnt "need" to be fed.

Wow you're inferring that my daughter doesn't feel loved and secure? Because she can sleep through the night? That's a crock of crap. I'm a stay at home mom now, I quit my job when my first turned one. She's very much a delightful, secure, confident girl, who feels very loved and is a mommy's girl.
And to be honest I'm thankful that both she and I got and have decent sleep.

 

[Pearls18]

Wind your neck in ladies. No baby is the same, some will STTN from a young age, some won't. Not every baby will need milk in the night, but I think if they are waking at 4 months old it is fair to assume they do need milk at this point.

OP have you looked into the sleep regression? I genuinely think DS went through this.

 

[MommyJogger]

Please read the book 'healthy sleep habits, happy child' by Marc weisbluth MD. Maybe it's different here in the states, but it is encouraged to teach your child to self sooth. My first would wake, but she was able to go right back to sleep.
I know each baby is different so I'm rolling with it with this second baby. She has actually been back to 4 hr stretches now the past few nights, and that seems perfect at this time for her age. I will be expecting her to sleep through the night at some point though, as I feel that it reasonable. I don't know any of my friends who want to go to their 1 1/2 yr old every night. Being able to sooth and get lots of quality sleep is healthy for my children. Good luck with yours and getting up all of the time. It does get better with time.

To OP: for well-roundedness in terms of infant sleep readings, I would encourage a read around the sleep research reviews on the "Evolutionary Parenting" blog. This is a good place to start:
https://evolutionaryparenting.com/normal-infant-sleep-part-i/

 

[TheNewMrs]

My baby is now 8 wks, so about 2 months. I know she's young, but she had been going consistently 8 hrs at night, and this past week or so has been waking every 3 hrs to feed.. Ah! I see you all think its normal, but how frustrating when she was doing awesome. If she made it those long stretches before, she obviously doesn't need to feed..... She's a chunky baby... Not sure if I should feed her or just try to settle her, as she has trouble soothing back to sleep during the night it seems.

Just wanted to point out that this is likely untrue. Things don't just get better and better and better. There are 8 yr olds who go through stretches of waking up at night feeling thirsty. Shoot, I have stretches where I wake up more frequently at night in need of liquids. It waxes and wanes and can be affected by that day's temperature, activity, what kind of solids have been eating (in babies old enough for solids), growth spurts, illness, growing pains, teething, new skill development, etc. It's all normal, and honestly, just something you have to deal with and keep trucking along. 3 hr stretches is quite good at any time the first 1-1.5 years, imho. Bedsharing definitely helps, though. That's why such a large percentage of breastfeeders bedshare, either openly or in secret.
I frequently say it's not about decreasing the number of night wakings, it's about decreasing the impact of the night wakings you have. That's how you get through that first year or so with sanity.

Yeah you could be right. But she was doing 8 hr stretches consistently.. My first daughter went 8 hrs from 6 wks until 10 wks, then started going 12 hrs from 10 wks On. We've never looked back. Never ever has she woken at night, none the less fed at night after that. Maybe she is the exception though! I guess I have high expectations for my second baby, and it was looking like she was on track. Last night she did two 4 hr stretches at night, maybe we are slowly getting back to the longer times at night who knows. I know babies go through phases and each baby is different, so who really knows.
I'm not one who die hard believes that night feedings are vital. I know some people are. My first rarely fed at night and her weight was always in the 95 percentile, so not a starving baby. Same with my second she is over 15 lbs at 8 wks.... I guess I have to just keep trucking along, and what baby wants to do baby will do.

Feeding at night has SO much more effect on the childs WHOLE development. Its not just to do with food. Its about security, building trust, figuring out can they depend on you to meet their needs, emotional development. Weather you believe they need to feed or not at night doesnt change the fact that almost ALL babies will wake sevral times a night for up to the first 2 years. Its how they were designed. Obv there are exceptions to the rule, with anything. Maybe your first child was that exception to the rule.

Most babies find a sleep pattern somewhere around 8-12weeks. Regress about 4months for a month or so, then find new pattern.
Regress again around 6 months. Find a new pattern.
Regress again around Crawling/Walking/Language/Seperation Awareness ect.

Most babies regress around growth spurts, developmental leaps, wonder weeks ect. Choosing not to bf at night is your choice. Not one I would recommend. Yours none the less but please research why your baby is responding to development this way rather than just decide she doesnt "need" to be fed.

Wow you're inferring that my daughter doesn't feel loved and secure? Because she can sleep through the night? That's a crock of crap. I'm a stay at home mom now, I quit my job when my first turned one. She's very much a delightful, secure, confident girl, who feels very loved and is a mommy's girl.
And to be honest I'm thankful that both she and I got and have decent sleep.

Im saying ALL BABIES- not just yours, need to learn to that they can depend on caregivers. Frequent night wakings help a baby feel secure because the know they havent and wont be abandonded or left alone to be eaten by wolves. Its instinctive. A natural part of development. A child who STTN as early as your first is the exception to the norm.

 

[babyface15]

Jules if she's waking and can't be settled I'd say she needs to be fed. Most babies need to be fed at night, especially at that young age. She could be going through a growth spurt win may explain the change in sleep patterns.

 

[Julesillini8]

Thanks guys. Don't mean for mthis to be a debate, was just looking for advise if I should feed her or just hold her to settle her. I have been feeding her, I figured if she wasnt hungry she wouldn't eat when offered. Thanks for your advice. She is doing every 4 hrs right now, sounds like the norm for a baby like her.
Yes all babies are different and all babies wake through the night. I am lucky with my first that she just sucked her thumb back to sleep. She was such a good self soother, it spoiled me i guess! I do think i should just consider her habbits to be an exception because not many go that long of a stretch so early. I realize that this second one is doing her own thing! She's not a bad sleeper though, just not a perfect sleeper. I will take it!

 

[Julesillini8]

Jules if she's waking and can't be settled I'd say she needs to be fed. Most babies need to be fed at night, especially at that young age. She could be going through a growth spurt win may explain the change in sleep patterns.

Thank you, this is exactly the opinion I was looking for on here. Have been feeding her and its been fine.. A bit better even! Thank you

 

[NurseSooz]

Makes me feel less alone as all I hear is about how well my fellow mum's babies are sleeping and they're not sleep deprived zombies like me!

 

[babyface15]

oh yes you're lucky with the first I think. she may have spoiled you a little . my moms friend was telling me her daughter would stuck her thumb to self settle and would sleep from 10pm to 12 pm the next day each night!! i've been trying to get my lo to find her thumb hahah no luck yet.

yes nurse sooz you're not alone. I know it's 'normal' but that doesn't make it any less hard! xxx
but yes I've heard of this four month sleep regression a lot, so hopefully it's just a phase for your lo