lucy_x
Mummy To Two Stunners
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Ok so i fanally wrote one, I swore i wasnt going to.. but i was starting to forget, and i never. ever. want to forget that moment, the one when you realise your a mummy.
Im so ever so sorry its long, as i say, its more my benefit that any one elses
OK so its not exactly how some people write their birth storys, but i dont remember times, funny things etc..so here it is
and that was her, 5 hours 32 mins in active labour. she was born at 8.32am on 30th june 2010.
Im so ever so sorry its long, as i say, its more my benefit that any one elses
OK so its not exactly how some people write their birth storys, but i dont remember times, funny things etc..so here it isI loved being pregnant. Every single moment. I quit smoking at 10 weeks, as it made me terribly sick, i didnt eat a proper meal for the whole 37 weeks! I had high blood pressure from the outset, pregnancy wasn’t a walk in the park (but whose is?).. .BUT I loved knowing, no matter where I was she was with me. I couldn't wait until my tummy got huge and round and what I wouldn't do to feel her kick again. I loved being pregnant. I really loved it, and the few minutes before they induced my labour, before I knew I was going to have her...I cried because, despite the fact excited to meet her, hold her, kiss her ...I knew she wouldn’t live there anymore!.These could be the last few moments I would feel her kick me! make me nauseous! And that this would be the last time it would be just me and didd. I’d never be able to go home without a baby! id never see the dogs without a baby!... and being pregnant?.. That is the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to a human. Ever.
It all started on Monday the 28th June 2010. I went in for a routine hospital appointment, I went in regularly, I had high blood pressure and would have to go every 4 weeks on a Monday, so they could review my tablets and examine my bump. Every week bump measured on target and things were going perfectly!..
This time I was 37 weeks and 3 days pregnant, everything went normally, until I was admitted for suspected pre-eclampsia (thankfully it turned out it wasn’t!). I awaited news of what was going to happen to me. To my baby bump. For 2 days I waited, wanting to go home and await my daughter’s natural arrival. Family visited daily, brought me food and conversation.
On Tuesday the 29th June, at 7pm, It was found my blood pressure had hit an all time high, and a rush decision to have my baby was made there and then. I was taken down to labour and delivery. I remember being taken down on the bed after having an IV put in, my arm covered in blood and aching, I remember getting into the room, it seemed so small and cold. I remember being asked to move onto one of their beds so they could break my waters. I then met my midwife.. I think her name was Kerry. She wasn’t very old, early 20s, she was chatty, and obviously trying to put me at ease, I was scared; No one knew I was down there! My family was at home totally unaware. My waters were broken and I rang didd. Kerry would pop in and out every 5 mins or so, and I would cry, I felt so alone..I was scared and no one was there!.. It only seemed 10 minutes and then didd and Sophie were there! Full of smiles eagerly awaiting their daughter and niece!.
I remember laughing when on gas and air, it was great, wanting Sophie or didd to join in with me, I also remember crying asking Sophie to take the pain away, telling her never to do it as it was hideous!.
I remember being embarrassed in front of didd because my bed was wet from my water s and wanting him to change the pads I was sitting on because they were cold and wet, eventually a porter came along and did them for me.
I remember loving the laid-back atmosphere and way the lamp in the corner of the room gave off this cosy feeling, the room was totally changed from the cold room I had earlier arrived in, I remember feeling how normal this all was...and being very, very aware that through all of this laughter and talking and puffing on G&A...there was this little background of a little heartbeat on the monitor.
I remember getting my epidural, I rember wanting pain relief so bad, and didd saying “ill go and get someone” and me stopping him, until finally I stopped no more.
I remember the anaesthetist coming to give me one, sitting up in the maternity dress I was wearing, sucking on my G&A, I remember turning round and laughing at the way he was covered as if he was doing an operation.. No one else found it funny.
And then I slept, slept for a few hours, I missed the shift change, but I remember meeting the midwife who would deliver my little girl, her name was Kathy, and she was in her late 40s, she smelt of patuli oil, and was possibly the most fantastic person I had ever met.
I remember her asking if I wanted the baby put straight on my chest and how I wanted to feed her.
And then it was time to push, Kathy and three other midwives where in the room, I don’t remember where didd and Sophie were at this point, but I knew they were there, I pushed, and I pushed for what seemed like a lifetime, was infact a little over an hour. and then she was here. I had a second degree tear and stitches, she was born by vountouse.
I cried, I cried buckets. That feeling was the best feeling in the world, that feeling of eternal love when she was placed on my tummy, it will never leave me..In fact it still sends shivers up my spine now, 4 months later.
I remember lying back, stroking her little naked bottom and proclaiming “she’s tiny, so tiny” still sobbing with joy, I remember her scream and the pedeotrition who had come ..In you know.. just incase, smile at my midwife and silently leave the room. I remember trying to get didd to take pictures. Any pictures, I just never wanted to remember that moment. Forever....and, I swear, it seemed like it lasted an hour. she had big pink lips that pouted and scrunched up little eyes. And she was beautiful. I remember thinking I must be dreaming because the happiness I felt was not humanly possible. In fact, that whole experience now seems like a dream, did it really happen?
I remember handing her to didd, and that cuddle, that happened right there was so protective, so loving, a smile came across his face and I saw love, a love I had never seen before, a love between father and daughter.
I remember handing her back to Kathy so she could be washed under the tap, and have a nappy put on and her tiny little sleep suit, Kathy did it all with such ease, and I watched, watched with eager eyes hoping I would be able to do it next time she needed changing. I remember seeing Kathy write her tags and asking me what her name was, her name. I don’t know, she didn’t have one yet!
Kathy asked if I wanted to feed my baby, and I did. Another dreamy moment I had always anticipated. I remember her latching right on and sucking away with no hesitation and looking at her, completely accepting me as her mummy and snuggling in to the only one she's ever, and I felt one thing. Love. She fed for a good forty minutes where I gazed longingly at her, those minutes went so quickly, I have no idea who was in the room or who wasn’t, I’m unsure if I just don’t remember or if I was in such awe of this miracle I just didn’t care.
What seemed like forever passed, but it wasn't even a couple of hours before all of my family, piled in the room with us to welcome her. And I watched my family hold her and just couldn't believe this was my baby in their arms. Everyone told me before that I wouldn't want to give her up to anyone...but I was completely fine...overjoyed, in fact, watching these people I love, hold her and love her too.
I remember the feeling of my legs coming back and getting up to use the loo, and strangely feeling one leg was longer than the other,
I remember it was 6.30 at night when family left and it was just me and my baby,
I remember them bringing me my dinner, curry, and a pot of tea and sitting and watching Wimbledon whilst eating.. And then being transferred to the ward upstairs on a different comfy be and holding my baby on the way up. People smiling at us in the corridor, and just thinking that I had never, ever been more proud.
When the staff left, I remember thinking my heart would burst. Just sitting there, holding her, looking at her knowing I had to be alone with her for the next several hours. Without a clue what to do, crying because she was and I dint know how to stop it.
The next few days went by without a blink, nurse and midwives coming to check me and my baby, day and night. She had her hearing test and her apgar. We have named her Amari and everyone came to tell us how pretty she was. She still continued to cry and I continued to learn.
We finally left hospital when she was 3 days old ...and it's a rough ending, another hospital visit, a stressful breastfeeding relationship (for the 1st 2 weeks anyway)...but it hasn't ended. It keeps going. For nearly 5 months now, I’ve felt that feeling. Maybe not as new or raw, but there are days where it just hits me like.. Wow. She was in my body, kicking me, having hiccups, and now she's out. She’s right there, and she's mine. And I love her so very much..
and that was her, 5 hours 32 mins in active labour. she was born at 8.32am on 30th june 2010.
that was the most beautiful birth story! 
, i didnt intend it to be sad! hehe, but your preg so il let you off 
