need a hug :(

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Rhiannon, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    hi ladies, i needs hugs and kind words :(

    im feeling really sad today. DH has said no more babies which is breaking my heart. i was just about to go and watch OBEM on demand and then i got upsert so now im sitting here wanting to watch it but knowing that if i do it will make me worse and then i will be all miserable and sad when he gets home :(

    :cry:

    i cant handle the fact that i can never be pregnant again, never give birth again, never try to BF, babywear...and so much more :(

    x
     
  2. ttc_lolly

    ttc_lolly Mum to 3 girls :)

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2008
    Messages:
    23,818
    Likes Received:
    26
    Aww hun :hugs: what's his reasons for not wanting anymore? Have you both only got Rhys? x
     
  3. lanaross

    lanaross Mom to Bella and Greyson

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Messages:
    4,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: hun x You know that while man is the head, woman is still the neck -- you can turn it however you want, just give him time. Usually at 1 year the newborn memories are still fresh and for many of us it was and probably is quite painful in terms of time, own life, sleep etc. etc.. Wait till your OH starts really bonding with your LO and then start over this conversation. I am sure you will be able to agree on more kids if you want :hugs:
     
  4. Seity

    Seity Mom to Gabriel and Samuel

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2009
    Messages:
    17,740
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: I'm glad that my OH is on board with me and that we both don't want more babies. It must be hard when you're not both in agreement.
     
  5. Sazzoire

    Sazzoire Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2009
    Messages:
    2,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs:

    surely it should be a joint decision? why doesn't he want anymore?

    xx
     
  6. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    we've both only got rhys.

    he said the first few months were so hard and he doesnt want to go through it again, plus i had PND so made it worse. rhys is quite a good baby except for his first 8 weeks in which he was hard work, but which newborn isnt!! and DH is affraid that we wouldnt have such a 'good' baby next time around.

    he has said maybe we can have another when rhys is 4 / in school. but i dont want to wait so long as we had such a high risk of Downs syndrome with rhys and i know age is a factor, so wouldnt want to go through that again. (id be 29)

    xx thanks for my hugs xx
     
  7. Seity

    Seity Mom to Gabriel and Samuel

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2009
    Messages:
    17,740
    Likes Received:
    0
    29 is so young to me. I can't even imagine being a mom that young, much less earlier.
     
  8. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    its hard to compromise on as its either a baby or no baby :(

    xx
     
  9. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    we had a risk of 1:35 when i was 24 going on 25 xx
     
  10. Ginger1

    Ginger1 Harry's Mum

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2010
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs:

    The Downs risk is still incredibly low, even if you did wait a few more years. I'm 35 now (was 34 when I got pregnant with Harry) and still only had a risk of 1:17,500!!

    Hopefully he'll change his mind before then, as others have said, it's only been a year since the scary newborn sleep deprivation bit, maybe he'll be more up for the idea in a few months time.
     
  11. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    they are already the best of friends. he is just very happy as we are thats all.

    x
     
  12. Ginger1

    Ginger1 Harry's Mum

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2010
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    You posted at the same time as me!! The risk was only high for that particular pregnancy too with your first one...the next one could be really low risk:hugs:
     
  13. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    really?

    i was always unsure about risks with future pregnancies - thanks :)

    xx
     
  14. hannahR

    hannahR Hollie aged three ttc no2

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,180
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ahh love, that must be tough. Huge hugs. xx
     
  15. Lost_Plot

    Lost_Plot GADOING GADADOING DOING

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2010
    Messages:
    706
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was 30 when LO was born - I still am lol He was low risk
     
  16. Vinushka

    Vinushka Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2010
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was 100% against having another one and I was then the one who suggested it 7 years later :blush: Plus I went through all the actual pain. People change their minds over time. Besides, who lets the man have the last say? Gosh.
     
  17. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    and probably TMI... but..

    ..we are currently using condoms as contraception, and everytime we DTD and he says ''ill just go get a condom'' it breaks my heart :(
     
  18. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon SAHM to Rhys

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Messages:
    2,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    i have had screaming hysterical tears, which ended with him being upset cos im so upset and he still wont say yes.

    im so used to getting my own way as well which makes things harder!!

    x
     
  19. SAmummy

    SAmummy mom of 3 boys

    Joined:
    May 7, 2010
    Messages:
    1,019
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: I know it's hard, but try leave the subject for a while and focus on your beautiful baby. When our 2nd was a year I really wanted another and OH said no more. I got really upset, but the more I pushed the more he was set against it. Anyway to cut a long story short we did end up with a third a few years later and were both happy with the decision .... he just needed more time. :hugs:
     
  20. Seity

    Seity Mom to Gabriel and Samuel

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2009
    Messages:
    17,740
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was 36 when I had Gabriel and my risk based on age alone was something like 1:400, but once they factored in the NT scan and bloodwork, it was something like 1:12,000 (I don't remember exactly). So, age is just one small part of the whole risk and it will be different for each baby.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice