hi ladies, i needs hugs and kind words im feeling really sad today. DH has said no more babies which is breaking my heart. i was just about to go and watch OBEM on demand and then i got upsert so now im sitting here wanting to watch it but knowing that if i do it will make me worse and then i will be all miserable and sad when he gets home i cant handle the fact that i can never be pregnant again, never give birth again, never try to BF, babywear...and so much more x
hun x You know that while man is the head, woman is still the neck -- you can turn it however you want, just give him time. Usually at 1 year the newborn memories are still fresh and for many of us it was and probably is quite painful in terms of time, own life, sleep etc. etc.. Wait till your OH starts really bonding with your LO and then start over this conversation. I am sure you will be able to agree on more kids if you want
I'm glad that my OH is on board with me and that we both don't want more babies. It must be hard when you're not both in agreement.
we've both only got rhys. he said the first few months were so hard and he doesnt want to go through it again, plus i had PND so made it worse. rhys is quite a good baby except for his first 8 weeks in which he was hard work, but which newborn isnt!! and DH is affraid that we wouldnt have such a 'good' baby next time around. he has said maybe we can have another when rhys is 4 / in school. but i dont want to wait so long as we had such a high risk of Downs syndrome with rhys and i know age is a factor, so wouldnt want to go through that again. (id be 29) xx thanks for my hugs xx
The Downs risk is still incredibly low, even if you did wait a few more years. I'm 35 now (was 34 when I got pregnant with Harry) and still only had a risk of 1:17,500!! Hopefully he'll change his mind before then, as others have said, it's only been a year since the scary newborn sleep deprivation bit, maybe he'll be more up for the idea in a few months time.
You posted at the same time as me!! The risk was only high for that particular pregnancy too with your first one...the next one could be really low risk
I was 100% against having another one and I was then the one who suggested it 7 years later Plus I went through all the actual pain. People change their minds over time. Besides, who lets the man have the last say? Gosh.
and probably TMI... but.. ..we are currently using condoms as contraception, and everytime we DTD and he says ''ill just go get a condom'' it breaks my heart
i have had screaming hysterical tears, which ended with him being upset cos im so upset and he still wont say yes. im so used to getting my own way as well which makes things harder!! x
I know it's hard, but try leave the subject for a while and focus on your beautiful baby. When our 2nd was a year I really wanted another and OH said no more. I got really upset, but the more I pushed the more he was set against it. Anyway to cut a long story short we did end up with a third a few years later and were both happy with the decision .... he just needed more time.
I was 36 when I had Gabriel and my risk based on age alone was something like 1:400, but once they factored in the NT scan and bloodwork, it was something like 1:12,000 (I don't remember exactly). So, age is just one small part of the whole risk and it will be different for each baby.
