Need a moan...

[Arlandria]

I'm sorry for having a moan but i'm in need of one and my OH just doesnt get it!!!

When we got engaged in Feb 2008 we were originally going to plan the wedding for 2010 - but then we fell pregnant and had to put it back obviously for money reasons.

So, on several occasions since, we've had the conversation (always brought up by me of course!) "When are we going to set a date?" and as always his reply was "When we can afford it!" and it followed by me "Well if we have something to aim for we wont be so careless with money and eventually we'll have saved and booked"

After quite a few of these conversations and me saying a few times "Whats the point in getting engaged if theres no intention to marry me!" (ha ha, hormonal/bridezilla giving the cheap shots!) he decided we can start planning for 2012!

Now i'm thinking he's just said this to shut me up! I know two years is a 'long' time but not really for planning a wedding as such...

He always said he wanted to get married at his local church where he grew up and where his brother is buried. Not for any religious reasons as we're not religious. But we dont live in that area anymore so I said they might not marry us because were not local and we dont go church! So to better our chances we'd need to start showing our faces every sunday and weve got a better chance of getting wed there.

I know i'm just waffling but, he's not making any effort at all about getting married. No mention of anything!!! I'll say "Ooo do you like that colour? Place? Style? Venue? DJ? Food?" and all i get is "yeah!" (still glued to the TV)

Well last night I said, right thats it. I make all the effort and you're not interested - i'm not going to mention the wedding until you do. (ive got a feeling now i'm going to be waiting a long time and when it comes to finally booking something it'll all be booked up, but I just want to prove a point!"

God, I feel like taking my ring off until he finally notices and does something about it!!!

Am I being a bitch??? Sorry ive rabbled quite a bit there

He say's he wants to get involved so I cant just book on my own as he wants his input but he aint doing nothing!!!

How did you all approach the subject? and move things along??

xxx

 

[kintenda]

Aw, hon, I'm sorry you're having probs. I honestly think that when you start planning he will get more excited. I have given my OH jobs to do that he enjoys - e.g. picking the transport, sorting out the boys to get their suits sorted etc. He is quite content with that!
Hope it works out. xxx

 

[Arlandria]

Men! Pah!

 

[lynne192]

awww hun huge hugs, i think it is often a man thing lol.. my OH was like this until tonight he decided 2015 was too far away so we're now 2012 wedding

 

[Arlandria]

Aw congratulations hunni!

Feel a bit better today as he mentioned it first lol

 

[lynne192]

thanks, its good that he said it first. is everything looking a little brighter then?

 

[honeybee2]

Im not religious at all- but I know church laws as i do a degree in religion & history. You and your partner can marry in that church. He lived in the parish of the church for at least 6 months as a child and therefore has a right to access it. Also, his brother is buried there- and thats another plus, was he christened there? if so they cannot refuse you. If his parents still live there thats another plus. But you can get married there anyway!!!!

As far as getting him involved, my partner is the same- untill I proved to him that it was about him too.
he began to realise when his Mum came with me to choose the venue and his mum put a deposit down, he then realised he'd have to start saving up, and also he's a graphic designer and loves posh food and cuisine so, i told him to design the invites (they look amazing!!!!) and also decide on what food we're having. He also gets to decide on what he's wearing, what sort of music. Just try to mention the party or the wedding as a party rather than a marriage. It works- trust me!

 

[lynne192]

my partner is not relgious and always refused but last night said he would think about it lol thats huge for him said he would do it for me awwww lol anyways i have said no, my parents were married in reg office and my grandparents and religon is not important enough to us, sorry things hard for you. they usually wont bother about place as long as they have seen you a few times and your paying lol