Need advice about Uni

[ohdessy]

So i just got my A level results and they weren't pretty but just enough for me to scrape my way onto my uni course. I got a B in English language and the course I want to study is English Language so obviously i'm capable in that subject. The others are just not worth mentioning and the uni is already doing me a massive favor letting me in.

Anyways baby is due in November, I haven't told the Uni I intended to defer a year because I wanted to see if I got in. Now I am in, i'm terrified to ask to defer in case they'll refuse me and think I'm a waste of time.

If I accepted to go this year, do you think it would even be possible to manage if i took a couple months off? I know the only way to know is to call the uni which I will do, I just wanted know if anyone has any advice or experience of this.

 

[wellsk]

I would recommend that you speak to them and try and defer. Failing that you can always re-apply for the following year?
You won't be the first or the last to contact them and ask these questions for this reason.

Having a baby and trying to complete university is incredibly difficult. And it would be highly unlikely you would be able to have off two months without them recommending you defer anyway. You will have constant deadlines, relevant to the content that is being studied in lectures, etc. A degree is a big step up from A Levels (and I found it a massive reality check!), trying to step up to be a mum too is a full time job in itself.

Plus, you only have one chance at university (at £7,000 a year plus!), so you wouldn't want to waste it by rushing into it and struggling to cope balancing a baby and university.

If you want to go ahead this year, then it is really important that you have a massive support group who will be able to look after LO when you're revising and working on coursework and in lectures. It can be done, but it's possible that you or your degree could suffer for it.

I had a friend (in her late twenties) who had a baby in the December of second year. She had her hubby and SIL look after her LO while she was at university. She's now doing her PGCE this year

I TTC throughout my degree, and only got pregnant once it was over anyway, but I've decided to be a SAHM for the next 3/4/5 years, then I'll return to do my masters degree.


I know a lot of what I said was a downer. But it's really important to make sure you're making the right choices for you and your LO. If you believe you can do it and have real motivation to do so, then do it! But it will not be an easy ride.
Good luck!

 

[MummyMana]

Id call them and see of you can have an informal chat about your options... Although I'd definitely recumbent taking a year off. Even of you think you'd be able to do it with a baby, once your baba is here you probably wouldn't want to leave them anyway, especially while they're little. Personally I'd be devastated of someone else got to share my baby's first smile, first laugh etc because I was out at uni or wherever every day...

Good luck I hope you manage to sort it out, I'm sure they'll be understanding of your situation

 

[mstennischick]

I don't know how it is where you are, and it could be completely different but in the states it's illegal for schools to kick you out because you're pregnant. unless your grades drop enough to let them kick you out, but here they also have laws where the professors can't count you absent or late, and they have to give you a couple months extension on all of your assignments.

 

[MommaLeesh]

Hey!
I was due to start my nursing degree this September but have recently found out i am 6 weeks pregnant, i only just got enough grades to scrape into my course also so was overjoyed when they said i was accepted, however when i found out i was pregnant i understood that doing both was near enough impossible as my university will not accept you if you are pregnant on this course. obviously baby is priority so my only option was to defer, my university has been nothing but supportive and helped me choose the best path for me... they even offered to transfer me to a local university next September so when i have little one i don't have to travel. it truly means i get the best of both worlds, i get my family and i get my career, maybe it will take longer to get my career than originally planned but does not mean i wont get there in the end! Really hope this has offered some comfort or some help, but the sooner you tell them the better!
and CONGRATULATIONS! xxx

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Firstly congratulations on your A-levels, a B in English is really good so don't be hard on yourself about the others... especially since you've passed while pregnant!

I was in a similar position to you.. I fell pregnant whilst doing my last exams and all my plans for uni were turned upside down. I felt under even more pressure though because if I deferred then I would be paying three times the amount for the course (it was the last year for the 3K a year fees!) In the end I opted to do Open University from home and basically worked during my whole pregnancy, took a couple of weeks out after he was born then went straight back to it because it was from home and I could read during feeds and study when he was asleep etc.

I would speak to somebody from the uni about deferring or whether it'd be possible to do the course straight away. I'm sure if you did the course now then you'd be able to take a couple of months out when the baby is born and put him/her in nursery when you resume it's just whether or not you'd be happy or comfortable doing that. Also, I'm pretty sure it's not too late to defer your course? Update us on how it goes xx

 

[Chloe Rachel]

I am sort of in the same situation, a bit.

I'm currently studying at uni, i'm about to go into my second year, Im due at the start of march and don't finish the year till june. I'm not taking a year out, i plan on going every day till i can't anymore. Then i will still do my assignments, as long as i get my assignments in on time and keep my grades up then why not? A lot of uni (Well on my course) is very much self study, we have to do a hell of a lot of work in compared to the actual lectures we go to, not complaining i love my course!

I also live 2 hours away from my uni (I moved back home and am now moving in with OH) I know it will be hard work when baby is here but i look at it as it is best for our future, i'm no longer doing this for my future, i'm doing it for my family, knowing that i can get a better paying job at the end of the course compared to if i dropped out and because of the job i'm going in to i can give my child and my family a better quality of life (Hopefully)

There is another girl on my course that had a little girl in the middle of our first year and her and little one is doing really well, she is proof that it can be done. As long as you are determined enough that you can and will do both and that you have help from family and he uni then go for it! x

 

[WantingABubba]

I am starting uni for Adult Nursing next month on the 16th, and I was told I couldn't defer. However, I am able to take maternity leave once my baby is born/the week before and that is paid for 45 weeks. I have 5 years to complete the degree so can go back in the second year to carry on and finish. I don't know how I'll catch up the bit I'll miss after April, though, because baby is due in April. I'll find out when I start, I guess.

Speak to the uni, and see what they can provide for you. Yes, uni and being a Mum is gonna be very hard, but not impossible. Speak to other uni grads who were in your position too. Good luck xx

 

[jesssika]

I'm at uni studying my Bachelors in psychology and I'm definitely going to be taking some time off! I'm leaning towards a full year. I just don't wanna miss anything. But definitely call the uni, they're actually usually so so great at understanding these sorts of things x

 

[littlefishygg]

There was a mature student on my course who had a baby in our 2nd year (she was due around april time if I remember correctly) she also had 2 children before than and she graduated this summer with a 1st so it is definitely do able but very tricky, I think she was lucky that she was due as late in the year so maternity leave almost coincided with summer though which may have benefited her. But definitely talk to your uni, they will know the course better than anyone and will not what is do-able. Good Luck and congrats on getting into uni

 

[ohdessy]

Thanks for all your replies and support! I thought I'd update you guys even though its a bit late. I did contact the uni and they were very relaxed about deferring my year which was such a relief! I was working myself up for nothing but I think a big part was just feeling dissapointed in my grades. Now when I look back on it I came a long way from almost being kicked out with no grades to being pregnant and still getting into uni.

Anyways, lil man was born a month ago and I'm so glad I have this year to bond with him before starting uni in September. Although it's gonna be tough, I definitely feel like I can do this

 

[WantingABubba]

Thanks for updating and glad it all worked out for you!