Need advice from moms of children with autism

[aliss]

My son is not diagnosed (3.5 years) but we're currently undergoing the process with a variety of specialists/psychologists and it's pretty obvious we're somewhere on the spectrum. Anyone who knows me here with Alex knows what I mean.

That being said, I need some advice.

We live in a small town outside Montreal Quebec. I don't speak much French and my kids don't either. There is only 1 English language school and all fun/social programs are in French. I have to drive an hour each way for specialist appointments.

Can you please tell me, in my position, would you move to somewhere that is English-speaking? How do your children with autism deal with language in general? It is just my opinion but I think this will make an already difficult situation worse. We aren't renting so it isn't as simple as just leaving, but rather we will have to fight with OH's job to get transferred elsewhere.

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[mummy2o]

I know a French Canadian from Montreal who is also has aspergers. And then there's me who's British got aspergers (many kids with autism end up with higher functioning autism (aspergers) later on some don't), so I will tell you how we both dealt with it.

He went to a French school and obviously learnt English whilst in school. He had no trouble picking up either language. He enjoyed gaming like most autistic children and many of this games were in English forcing him to pick up both languages. He is in some ways worse than me on the spectrum, but again that could be a difference in personalities.

I went to an English school and briefly touched on French, but mainly Italian as I went to a Catholic school. I know my English isn't the best, but I do blame some of it on the education system compared to other European countries. However, after school I know no Italian or French, but achieved an average grade of C in English and Italian. I gave up French at 11 years old at the first opportunity. I also have dyslexia so that makes it even harder for me to learn languages. I do have a fascination with languages and the ones I have learnt in my own time, doing it in a fun and enjoyable way I have found stuck more.

My son is 6 and also has autism. Him learning a second language would be bad. He's very behind on his English and just barely above pre-school level. We suspect he is also dyslexic, but his school is refusing to acknowledged this. To be honest his school was good for the first year he went, then went down hill a little last year and loads this year. We will be changing his school next school year to a specialist language school if he gets a place.

So its not clear cut would he benefit more. How good is his current English? Can he read? (I know a few autistic children who could read from 2 and others before 5, my son was 6 before he found books he enjoyed reading) I wouldn't worry to much about spelling yet, but some pre-schoolers are learning to spell their name around about now. So if his English is fine, then I wouldn't be worried. If he is behind, then I would probably thinking more about moving and just focus on the main language. Also bare in mind English is one of the hardest languages for anyone to learn. Its not always read how its pronounced, spelling is a nightmare and there are many meanings for one word!

 

[aliss]

Thank you so much for your help. He is verbally quite behind, probably around 12-18 months (he's 3.5). I am an ESL teacher so I'm trying my best to help him for now but he is struggling so much. He cannot sit still or focus but he loves to look at books.

 

[mummy2o]

Sounds like my son. He loves to read books and does this in his room after the lights go out at bedtime with just the hall light and night light to read them. It helps sending him off to sleep by himself. I read to him of course before hand, so don't think I just send him to his room and let him read himself to sleep but after a set amount of books/time enough is enough. I also noticed he goes to sleep quicker if he reads to himself at the end. Reduced from an hour to 30 minutes and everyone is happy. I'm hoping once his sibling is born he'll read to him/her as I think that would be pretty sweet.