Need Advice Girlies - Long

[Kim91x]

Hi,

My name is Kim and I am 17 weeks pregnant this Saturday. I'm really struggling with my OH.

Basically, we got together in October, the first time we DTD was when I fell pregnant - immature and stupid I know.

Anyway, we decided that although we hadn't been together long, we was going to keep the baby and move in together. This has all gone well.. Until now.

This is where it gets confusing - My ex is now with his ex, and he has a child with her. The little boy is 2 years old, and his ex is very rarely letting him see him as she is playing happy families with the new boyfriend.

I logged onto facebook two nights ago, and saw my ex had tried to add me as a friend, I clicked on his page - although I couldn't tell you why, being nosey I suppose. Anyway, my OH looked through the laptop history and saw this, when he approached me about it, I done the stupid thing of lying that it wasn't me. He hit the roof. He then said he couldn't trust me and didn't think it was a good idea to have the baby anymore. I was heartbroken and couldn't seem to talk him out of it. We went to bed, and although he cuddled me, he didn't once put his hands on my stomach or kiss it goodnight like he normally does.

This morning I called the doctors (as I have a UTI and needed tablets) he came with me and I asked the doctor about how I could go about with different options of this pregnancy. She gave me a little card with contact numbers on it, and said I must make an appointment with them.

My OH dropped me to work after, but I could not concentrate at all, I asked him to pick me up and we will book an appointment with the number I got given.. He picked me up, and whilst driving he took the card from my hand and ripped it up into pieces. I asked him why he done this and he said that 'we will be ok - we will get through this' My heart was in my mouth, cos whilst I wanted to shout at him for putting me through this morning I was just so grateful that he wasn't making me make a decision I did NOT wanna make.

I was just wondering whether you think that he was being serious, or whether just because of the heartache he saw me have that he felt guilty.

Whilst I think that all single mothers are brilliant, I am scared to death of dealing with a child on my own. I love my OH dearly and believe that we could work.

Thanks for reading x

 

[julietz]

OMG he is a total ASS he is carrying on like you have had an affair when you only looked at an ex's page on face book WTF? how old is he? think he better grow up especialy when there is a baby involved, sounds like a push over to me, dont let him manipulate you like that, and remember its your baby to if he doesnt think he can be part of it then whats stopping you from saying well fine use the door il do this myself, dont let him call the shots.

 

[LTEx]

he has some SERIOUS growing up to do if he's going to be a dad! A child is not a pawn in a relationship, he cant just say he doesnt want the kid whenever u argue! If he does anything like this again i wouldn't even consider working it out relationship wise & just make sure he's there for the LO

 

[dustbunny]

Has he had bad experiences with previous girlfriends?? Although I think that is such a terribly shitty excuse in itself, it might also explain why he has gone through the roof. I would be tempted to say what he said was spoken out of the heat of the moment... but the fact he went with you to the doctors, let you book an appointment with a clinic and then drove you there before ripping the card up is really not ok. It is out of line!!! You looked on an ex's profile, it is human curiosity to do it... everyone does it... I do it... I have had ex's who do it... my friends do it.
It sounds like he was trying to play a major mind game and it has worked! It is YOUR body and he should not be able to force you into something YOU are not happy with. I would seriously be considering whether to stay with him or not.... you really need to have a good talk with him.