Need AN Opinion??????

[Andypanda6570]

I lost Ava 6 weeks ago at 18 weeks , Waited 6 weeks for the results only for them to tell me the cells did not grow Didn't get any answers I am blaming myself and crying, my friend called the office today and was screaming at them , that they need a doctor to call me and explain these results. The assistant was the one who called me and told me about them not growing and i called back 3x to talk with a doctor and nobody called. So my best friend called and screamed at them, 30 minutes later the doctor called me He said that the cells didn't grow but he said he was 99 percent positive it was due to a chromosomal abnormality. It was not downs or Trisomy 18. He said my Nuchal came back perfect. So I said what would cause this at 18 weeks and again he said we can't know if one of the chromosomes like 18 had a xx or 26 had an xx we just don't know, but we know it was chromosomal . He said there was no reason for me not to try again ,I said did I do something to cause this he said NO , Did you smoke crack cocaine I said NOOO he said did you shoot drugs I said NNOOOOOO he said Andrea you didn't do anything these things just happen. He said I know your 40 but your tests came back good and in my opinion there is no reason to not try again, he said he knows I am in pain and he knows it happened late in the pregnancy , but he feels it was an abnormality and it likely wont happen again. So what should I walk away from this thinking?
XOXOO

 

[kam78]

Hmm... Walk away a stronger woman ... Just take each day as it comes cuz eveyday you will have a new or different thought or feeling or you might decide to repeat a few more than once & that's all ok : D

I think things just happen, do NOT understand why my self BUT I'm trying to be a lil optimistic & a tad bit understanding... I really really do NOT have answers for you babe, only you will find them deep inside of YOU ... Just listen & with time , things WILL work out for you ...

I know, I am greatful everything with the tests came back all negative... To me, that gives you guys options, options you never really thought about before until now huh...

Isn't it crazy where you end up on this crazy ride called life... Man, its a rollercoaster girl! Just hold on & keep breathing♥ I'll always be here : )

 

[Mumof42009]

you know i'm here hun if you need to talk, glad you got the results. You need to stop blaming yourself now Ava is looking down on you and always will be send you loads love and hugs xx

 

[Jox]

Im so sorry you have no answers Its rubbish!

We too got no answers after Kaspers was born. Was told it was just one of those things. With my rainbow we found out its a reoccuring problem but still dont actually know what the problem is.

Its hard to accept and 'move on' from this when there is no explanation, I dont think ive accepted yet....

x

 

[hayley x]

I think we will always blame ourselves, guilt is such a big part of grieving

I'm so sorry you didnt really get any answers, we didnt either, after a post mortem Its hard but not any easier with an answer

What has he said regarding another pregnancy? is there any more tests they can carry out earlier or is just a wait and see situation x

 

[Andypanda6570]

I think we will always blame ourselves, guilt is such a big part of grieving

I'm so sorry you didnt really get any answers, we didnt either, after a post mortem Its hard but not any easier with an answer

What has he said regarding another pregnancy? is there any more tests they can carry out earlier or is just a wait and see situation x

Ava had died inside of me and I had to wait 3 days until they would do a D and E which I had NOOOOOO idea what that was and if I had I would not have done it, but I didn't do it anyway. They prepared me for the D and E they put these things up me and when I say the pain was worse for me than labor is it's not an exaggeration . That night 3/3/2011 I gave birth in my bathroom, I was not touched up there by any doctors which was a good thing cause I healed on my own and if I would have got the D and E I would have and could have had complications. I stayed 4 hours in the hospital and they did a sonogram and said I had a small clot and that I would pass it , I then got my AF on April 10th and bled heavy for 3 days. When my doctor called yesterday he said there is NO reason for me not to try again. He said he will send me a
slip in the mail to do some more blood work but he thinks it had to do with a chromosomal abnormality nothing else, but I will get the blood tests and see what happens

 

[jojo23]

i think this is a positive thing hun.... sometimes its almost a good thing that nothing was wrong cause it means you can try again without the niggling doubt that you did something wrong. you know now that it was a chromosome abnormality and theres no way on earth you could have controlled that... 40 is definitely young these days my aunt just gave birth to a baby boy last week and she's 46. try keep positive hun i know its very hard but dont give up hope and always remember we are all here to keep each other strong xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[babesx3]

I agree with jojo!!
40 is no age , and i would feel positive about ttc again..
U did nothing wrong , its chromosomal, so was out of your control..like jojo said its hard when there is no reason,(like me ) because u are left wondering why!!!
Go forward , your little one knows u love her , i guess its just now up to you and your DH as to whether u feel strong enough to TTC again..

My thoughts are with u !!