Hello there, I found a wonderful woman and we got to know each other very good before we started dating, we decided to be exclusive some 3-4 months ago. We both talked about wanting children and we decided to go for it. When we found out that she was pregnant we were both really excited, I have to admit I was a little scared but the fact is that I have wanted children since I was a child. We use to talk everyday and see each other every weekend. a few weeks ago (she is about 10 weeks along right now) she started saying that she was feeling really overwhelmed with everything and that she needed space. I tried to tell her that I really wanted to be with her and that I will give her the space she needs and wait for her to deal with whatever. since then she doesnt talk to me at all, I have told her how excited I am about the baby and that she is going to be a great mother and I could be happier to be having a child with HER! the past couple of weeks she will not reply any e-mails/ txts (I dont even try to call) I told her a couple days ago that, again, that I want to be there for her and support her through everything, she basically told me that she wants to be alone and deal with everyhting by herself and that she doesnt want to be responsible for someone elses happiness and that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with all the doubt that she has. Before the pregnancy the only doubt that she ever talked about was about me leaving (when I reassured her plenty of times how much I care and respect her as a person and such). I ended up replying to her that I understood (which I dont really but I didnt want to push anything) and that I would be here when she does figure everything out. I also said that I hoped she was getting support from somewhere. I have no idea what is going on and it is really hard for me. I want a baby very bad but I didnt want to lose my girlfreind to get it. Is it really the hormones? It just seems that out of no where that she has all this doubt about us and I dont get it because she always told me that she split with her ex-husband because she knew she didnt want to have kids with him. Right now I am expecting and trying to prepare my mind for the worse and hopeing for the best. Is there any advice out there that anyone could offer? thank you.
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Need help/advice-expecting GF is not talking to me
- Thread starter grobert3
- Start date
I am really hopeing to hear from some women that have gone through something like this. I will be checking this thread everyday until something either happens or gets better, I have been talking to our mutual friends and they dont know what to think or say about the whole thing. Our friends know about the hard times that we have both been through in our pasts and are really happy for both of us but dont know really what to tell me. I will gladly give more info if someone feels the need to know more. My GF and I are in a mutual fellowship ( we are both graduate students), we had a manditory function today (which i didnt go to because I didnt want to crowd her and give her her space) I was really hopeing that not seeing me there would prompt her to talk to me but no contact. I am really really struggling with all of this, I just want to be with her and our baby and really want to be apart of the whole process of development. Please any words of wisdom would be greatly apprieciated!!!!
A
AROluvsJMP
Guest
I think that you should talk to her! whenever i say i don't want him around, what i am really saying is pay attention to me tell me how much you love me but thats just me. what type of women is she?
Everytime that I have tried to contact her she doesnt reply to me, before about 7-8 weeks of being pregnant she was totally open and we always communicated very well, like i said her and i got to know each other very well before we started dating, after the 7-8 week mark she just didnt want to talk to me at all, she told me repeadidly that she just wanted to be alone and figure everything out byherself, I want to talk to her very badly, i have told her many times that i support her in any and everything, and i know that she knows this but she says that she just wants to be alone...
what do you really mean by what kind of person is she?
what do you really mean by what kind of person is she?
I would leave her alone. You seem to have done all you could. I would let her know when the baby comes that you will be ordering a paternity test(After all, I'm sure you want to be sure, Something sounds fishy. Just my opinion) and you will be in your child's life even if you have to take her to court. and if she needs anything you'll be there for her. but for now leave her be.
I don't think the last reply was a direct insult to your ex girlfriend but really what kind of a person is she? Something sounds fishy. Yes it could just be hormones, and she could very well just want to deal with this alone as she doesn't want to ruin your life or whatever she told you, but you said everything was fine until the pregnancy got a little farther along. As a woman, I'd say shes hiding something. So let her go, see if she'll come back around.
Hopefully I'm wrong. but if she just suddenly changed her tune and you have no idea what you did, then something is going on with her.
And if she really cared for you she wouldn't put you through pain, and she wouldn't be avoiding you. She just doesn't sound trustworthy. She may not have been the woman you thought she was. I'm sorry.. You sound like a really sweet guy too. If she keeps this crap up then consider yourself lucky. Like I said, tell her you'll be getting a DNA test, and when baby comes you will request joint custody if she gives you trouble. Hope everything works out and she comes to her senses.
I don't think the last reply was a direct insult to your ex girlfriend but really what kind of a person is she? Something sounds fishy. Yes it could just be hormones, and she could very well just want to deal with this alone as she doesn't want to ruin your life or whatever she told you, but you said everything was fine until the pregnancy got a little farther along. As a woman, I'd say shes hiding something. So let her go, see if she'll come back around.
Hopefully I'm wrong. but if she just suddenly changed her tune and you have no idea what you did, then something is going on with her.
And if she really cared for you she wouldn't put you through pain, and she wouldn't be avoiding you. She just doesn't sound trustworthy. She may not have been the woman you thought she was. I'm sorry.. You sound like a really sweet guy too. If she keeps this crap up then consider yourself lucky. Like I said, tell her you'll be getting a DNA test, and when baby comes you will request joint custody if she gives you trouble. Hope everything works out and she comes to her senses.
littlekitten8
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just wanted to say that I hope she sorts things out. I hope that its just her hormones and that she will come around.
A
AROluvsJMP
Guest
Like whats her personality like? i wasnt trying to insult was seriously asking what type of person she is
well, she is a very nice person, very caring, intelligent, everything that I am looking for in a partner (this is why I wanted to have a baby with her) , since my last post I have talked to her a bit through e-mail, she told me that she was starting to get her head back on straight and her sleep and appitite were getting more normal and then she said that we should work out a shared custody after the baby has been born a few months to where he/she could be away from the food source, she told me... "let face it we have no common interests" I couldnt let that one go and i sent her a reply saying I didnt understand how she could say that and listed about ten things that we have in common. the fact is we have tons in common, I think that I have more in common with her than any other girl I have ever been with. When she told me all this it made me think that its definitely the hormones talking and Im just hopeing to god that she will realize this soon and that the hormones will quit jacking her up so bad. Before we got pregnant things were perfect and even about 6 weeks into the pregnancy things were great, it just seemed out of no where that she started having all these feelings and didnt want to talk to me anymore. She says she is not mad at me but is very disappointed in herself. when I told some of our mutual friends about her saying that we didnt have anything in common they laughed because they know us both and its just not true, we love just about everything the same.
Im really just trying to stay positive and let time pass, but dam its really hard, I just want to be with her and help her and have the family that I know both of us want
Im really just trying to stay positive and let time pass, but dam its really hard, I just want to be with her and help her and have the family that I know both of us want
beckynbump25
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hiya i don't know what advice too give...just wanted too say try posting this on pregnancy boards you might get a few more reply's...plus there's proberly alot of hormonal women out there that might be feeling the same as your girlfriend.
i could be just her way of coping with the changes with in her body and life a baby is a big,big change maybe it's alot to take in for her.
i could be just her way of coping with the changes with in her body and life a baby is a big,big change maybe it's alot to take in for her.
Boomerslady
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I'm not really sure I can add anything to this, as without being in her head no one can know whats going on.
From my personal perspective though, my pregnancy was unplanned (I know yours was not, but it sounds like it happened very quickly) and to be honest it knocked me for six. There were many days when I didnt even want to acknowledge that I was pregnant. If i'm truthfully honest I didnt know how I felt until he was in my arms. I barely bonded with him while I was pregnant.
Its very early days at the moment and maybe she is feeling completely overwhelmed? Maybe having someone be so happy about the situation is making her feel worse because she isnt happy. Does that make any sense?
I'd say for now just give her space. Let her know you care for her and the baby, and you'll be waiting until shes ready to talk more. Maybe try to compound some of her fears, i.e. let her know you too are scared, and worried (as naturally i'm sure you are) she might then see theres someone on her wavelength.
I hope that made sense.
From my personal perspective though, my pregnancy was unplanned (I know yours was not, but it sounds like it happened very quickly) and to be honest it knocked me for six. There were many days when I didnt even want to acknowledge that I was pregnant. If i'm truthfully honest I didnt know how I felt until he was in my arms. I barely bonded with him while I was pregnant.
Its very early days at the moment and maybe she is feeling completely overwhelmed? Maybe having someone be so happy about the situation is making her feel worse because she isnt happy. Does that make any sense?
I'd say for now just give her space. Let her know you care for her and the baby, and you'll be waiting until shes ready to talk more. Maybe try to compound some of her fears, i.e. let her know you too are scared, and worried (as naturally i'm sure you are) she might then see theres someone on her wavelength.
I hope that made sense.
that def. makes sense, but i guess i dont know how to go about doing such a thing, i guess what im saying is that if I tell her how worried that i am im scared that she will be even more put off by me because we both agreed to get ourselves into this situation
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I think you should leave her be for a bit. It could well be the hormones.
I am in sort of the same position but I am on the other side. I was with my ex for 3 or 4 months and got pregnant by accident with the little girl I am expecting now.
I broke up with him because I just felt it wasn't working out and I'm not the type to stay together for a baby. I care for him but he irritates me and I try to tell him to give me a little space for a while but he won't listen. He still insists on speaking whenever he see's me on facebook, he is a member on here and he texts me everyday. This is just making me feel worse about him, I keep asking but still I get no space.
Your gf should talk to you, but maybe she just doesn't know how to say what she is feeling and needs some time to cool off.
I am in sort of the same position but I am on the other side. I was with my ex for 3 or 4 months and got pregnant by accident with the little girl I am expecting now.
I broke up with him because I just felt it wasn't working out and I'm not the type to stay together for a baby. I care for him but he irritates me and I try to tell him to give me a little space for a while but he won't listen. He still insists on speaking whenever he see's me on facebook, he is a member on here and he texts me everyday. This is just making me feel worse about him, I keep asking but still I get no space.
Your gf should talk to you, but maybe she just doesn't know how to say what she is feeling and needs some time to cool off.
