need some advice please about fob

[dawnmichelle]

hiya im really in need of some advice regarding the father of my 3 week old baby son basically iv let him visit at my house with my mum there too because he is very dominating and controlling and i dont trust him, but he is saying he wants to see him twice a week and take dylan out for a few hours to 'show him off' and then have him overnight in the next few weeks once a week then twice a week when hes a bit older,
he said he doesnt wanna have to go through the courts and wants me to agree to this. His name isnt on the birth certificate and he said i shouldnt go to csa and let him give me maintenance.
I realy dont want lo away from me and am panicking because fob doesnt know the first thing about babies at the mo and hasnt got heating in his house because hes renovating it
please help i dont know what do to for the best xxx thankyou

 

[laura1991]

No court will agree to this, dont let him bully you into it! Your doing right giving him supervised visits! If he doesnt like it tell him to go through the courts because he wont get what he wants especially if you have concerns about him not being looked after properly.
Is he giving you money? if he isnt definately go through CSA.

 

[dawnmichelle]

no he hasnt given me any money he bought some nappies, also when we were 2gether he used to drink a few cans a night and used to smoke some weed i have an 8 yr daughter and i made him do it in the garden but he used to ask to smoke it in the house when she was in bed i wouldnt let him, i dont know if he still does that because he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, but id still be worried about it. xx

 

[laura1991]

Well definately contact CSA! He should be supporting his child if he wants to see him! Tell him if he doesnt like it get a solicitor, and make sure you let them know your concerns, he will not get LO alone if he is still smoking weed etc. Are you breast feeding? Because if you are he wont be able to take him alone If he becomes violent and agressive stop contact till you go through the courts, do not let him bully you into anything you dont want, and maybe wrong for your baby,
xx

 

[dawnmichelle]

yea iam breastfeeding only and he said i can give him a bottle lol, hes almost 43 and iam 27 so quite a big age gap but he acts like a spoiled child calls me names ect when he doesnt get his own way, he said the courts not a nice place and hes sure i wouldnt want to go through it but i will if i have too, your right im not gonna let him bully me anymore. thanks so much for replying xx

 

[billy2mm]

as everyone else said get onto the CSA now!

do not let him bully you. no court will let lo be away from you for any period of time while you are breastfeeding!! overnight?! he deffo has been smoking somehting to think that!!

he is a right piece of work!! are you on mat leave? if you are not or have a low paying job then you may will be entitled to legal aid so i would get to the solicitors for advice and prepare them for if he does decide to go through with his threat which i doubt he would do coz im pretty sure the reason he is threatening you with the courts is to scare you into agreeing coz he knows he wont win!

 

[dawnmichelle]

hiya no im on benifits at the mo, yes i will be contacting csa 2moro and getting to see a solicitor, how often and for how long would you say is suitable visiting times? iv let him come for an hour and hes seen him 3 times xx

 

[billy2mm]

hiya no im on benifits at the mo, yes i will be contacting csa 2moro and getting to see a solicitor, how often and for how long would you say is suitable visiting times? iv let him come for an hour and hes seen him 3 times xx

whatever you are comfortble with - i would say for an hour or 2 once or twice a week its totally up to you. depends on how big a part of lo's life you/he wants to be. if you are not comfortable with him being in your home you can look into a contact centre - your solicitor should have details of how to contact them and set it all up.

 

[dawnmichelle]

ok thanks for all your advice it has helped me alot x