Need some encouragement

[kiwilove]

Hey ladies. So for the most part I am not an all natural kind of girl, but I really want to be when it comes to my baby. I want to cloth diaper and exclusively breast feed. I hope to make all natural baby soaps and such too but not thinking of that stuff right now. My issue is the cloth diapering and breast feeding. I have been telling close family and friends of my desire to do these two things. I was very happy at my decision at first, but now not so much. Everyone is basically telling me I want stick with it...they give me a week max with cloth diapering. And then when I talk about breast feeding, everyone loves to point out that 'not everyone can breast feed' yes obviously I know this already...I just feel like everyone is bringing me down and now Im scared I am putting too much on myself when baby does come. I'm a first time mom to be so I have no experience. I just wish that they would support my decision and make it a little easier for me. I need the encouragement.

 

[Hopefulk]

I had the same comments (my mother formula fed, had my little brother a lot later than me so compares disposables with old fashioned terry nappies, etc).

We did both - breast fed until she was 20 months old and stopped using cloth nappies when she was forst walking as they were much chunkier and she was waddling too much so she went into disposables at 14 months but was toilet training at 16 months anyway.

I've found the best thing is to not tell people my plans and just get on with them.xxx

 

[MrsKChicago]

I've met a couple of people who think I'm nuts for wanting to cloth diaper. Thankfully the people closest to me are supportive. Maybe just respond with "If you can't support me, I'm not interested in hearing your negativity" or something. Or just "It's nice to see you have so much faith in me" if you're the sarcastic type. Maybe back it up with some statistics on how bad disposable diapers are for the environment, and remind them that you don't see the point in having a baby and then trashing the world they're going to grow up in (a little judgmental, but hey, they started it!).

And you CAN do it. Everyone I know who cloth diapers loves it (they're so cute, you don't have to go diaper shopping at 3am when you run out, and it's so much more affordable over the long run), and while some women do have issues with nursing, it seems like it's about a thousand times more convenient that constantly making up formula and bottle feeding.

 

[kiwilove]

Thanks for the replies...I do feel better about it will probably use your sarcastic version next time and cant wait to do it...then they will know it bothers me and hopefully stop!!! Thanks again ladies!!!

 

[kiwilove]

I really want to do 100% cloth but MIL says she will not use them. My mother doesnt really want to use them either but I know she will do it if thats what I want!

 

[MrsKChicago]

Do you need your MIL to watch the baby? If my MIL refused to even try cloth, I'd just limit her baby time so she wouldn't be put in that situation...

I can understand doing disposables for babysitters, but all in one cloth is exactly as easy for them if they're not doing the laundry, and refusing to even try strikes me as more of a power struggle than anything. So not cool.

 

[kiwilove]

I don't NEED my MIL to watch the baby and probably wont let her over nights until at least six months...depending on if I breast feed exclusively...mainly because I know she will feed baby food WAY too early for my liking and know she would do it behind my back...my SIL has a child and MIL did things such as put ice cap in her bottle behind her back...MIL always says grandmas are supposed to be fun an let kids away with what parents wouldn't so I have learned through watching her with my niece as to how she will be with mine...she does need to have control....power struggle, your right! I just want what I think is best for my baby but know when she has the baby she will do what SHE thinks is best...I will be keeping my eye on her that's for sure! Shes not a bad person by any means we just don't think the same in most situations.

 

[MrsKChicago]

Oh hell no! I agree that grandmas are for spoiling, but that means something like giving them cookies before dinner when they're old enough for cookies. Messing with a baby's diet is dangerous!

 

[JenX]

You can do it. If your mind is made up to do it- be proud of your choices and don't let anyone get you down. I too, was a first time mom making those same choices. Now I am over a year and a half along and still breastfeeding and cloth diapering for both day and nighttime.

Also, we never had any issues with cloth diapers interfering with walking as a previous poster mentioned either. To be honest, I have never heard of anyone having an issue with that before. My LO's night time diapers are pretty bulky because they have to last 12 hours, but she can still walk in those- even though she doesn't need to as we put them on right before bed.

As for your MIL, if you are doing the washing, what right does she have to dictate what diapers are used? If she's watching the little one, changing them will be pretty much the same, except she'll take the soiled diaper and put it in a cloth diaper pail or bag instead of a disposable diaper pail or bag. To her, it should be the same. Unless she is being asked to wash the diapers she should have no say. Maybe she just needs to be educated about how cloth diapers work now.

 

[Larkspur]

I've met a couple of people who think I'm nuts for wanting to cloth diaper. Thankfully the people closest to me are supportive. Maybe just respond with "If you can't support me, I'm not interested in hearing your negativity" or something. Or just "It's nice to see you have so much faith in me" if you're the sarcastic type. Maybe back it up with some statistics on how bad disposable diapers are for the environment, and remind them that you don't see the point in having a baby and then trashing the world they're going to grow up in (a little judgmental, but hey, they started it!).

I know it's easy to see negativity as judgement, but I would encourage you (OP) not to attack people or resort to sarcasm. Some people may be speaking out of defensive feelings about their own choices, but others are probably just trying to take pressure off you because you do never quite know how things will work out.

I planned on cloth nappying but guess what? My son HATED them. He was not comfortable with even the tiniest bit of dampness. I was changing nappies every half an hour, and after a few weeks, it just became unmanageable. So I switched to eco-friendly disposables (stuck with cloth wipes though) and everyone has been happier since.

The argument for the environmental impact of cloth nappies is not actually as convincing as a lot of people make out, so it's probably not worth getting high and mighty about how other people are destroying the world with it. (The economic advantages of cloth nappying are unarguable though.)

Early motherhood is a really hard time. I don't believe it's worth alienating close friends and family with sarcasm or snippiness when you can just say, "This is something I feel strongly about, so I would really appreciate support instead of negativity."

 

[kiwilove]

I've met a couple of people who think I'm nuts for wanting to cloth diaper. Thankfully the people closest to me are supportive. Maybe just respond with "If you can't support me, I'm not interested in hearing your negativity" or something. Or just "It's nice to see you have so much faith in me" if you're the sarcastic type. Maybe back it up with some statistics on how bad disposable diapers are for the environment, and remind them that you don't see the point in having a baby and then trashing the world they're going to grow up in (a little judgmental, but hey, they started it!).

I know it's easy to see negativity as judgement, but I would encourage you (OP) not to attack people or resort to sarcasm. Some people may be speaking out of defensive feelings about their own choices, but others are probably just trying to take pressure off you because you do never quite know how things will work out.

I planned on cloth nappying but guess what? My son HATED them. He was not comfortable with even the tiniest bit of dampness. I was changing nappies every half an hour, and after a few weeks, it just became unmanageable. So I switched to eco-friendly disposables (stuck with cloth wipes though) and everyone has been happier since.

The argument for the environmental impact of cloth nappies is not actually as convincing as a lot of people make out, so it's probably not worth getting high and mighty about how other people are destroying the world with it. (The economic advantages of cloth nappying are unarguable though.)

Early motherhood is a really hard time. I don't believe it's worth alienating close friends and family with sarcasm or snippiness when you can just say, "This is something I feel strongly about, so I would really appreciate support instead of negativity."

I see what you mean by not attacking or using sarcasm but with the mother in law...its every time I bring it up, I try to explain to her how simple it will be and how it will be easy for her...she just says im not worried because you wont keep with it...she says it all the time and it drives me mad...Everyone will have there opinion and I dont expect it to be the same as mine...I would never tell someone they couldnt do something...and then to continue to over and over again. It's just plan mean...and what my MIL needs maybe is a little sarcasm... I could easily say how I feel...but the next time the issue was brought up...she would just say no offense or dont get mad...and then say it again...I know her too well... I would never snap first time someone said something I didnt like... its only if it happens over and over again that sometimes its just to much.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I've noticed with my mother that sometimes a little sarcasm mixed in with some firmness is the only thing that gets through. It wouldn't be my first resort, but some people just don't respond well to "What you're saying really upsets me and I wish you wouldn't say it."

 

[perfectgoddes]

I just tell people straight up, my baby, my choice.

Although it is understandable after so much disrespect from your mil to respond in kind, especially since she said she will undermine your choices when given a chance, just keep repeating yourself. Don't stoop to her level.

I did do disposables initially bc my son was born early and was too small for the stash I had. I still pepper in some disposables when I get behind on laundry (he still doesn't fit my whole stash but almost!) but however he gets covered it is my choice.

Enjoy your prep time! I love shopping for cloth. So many great designs!

 

[kiwilove]

Thank you for all the replies ladies!!

 

[misspriss]

It's your baby, it's your choice.

I'd recommend getting some AIOs just in case MIL or your mom has to watch the baby, they probably won't have any problem with those after they see them, the diaper chance is NO DIFFERENT, just toss it in a wet bag instead of the trash?

I just skimmed previous posts, but what is MILs problem with cloth? Does she know what modern cloth diapers are like or is she thinking flats and rubber pants?

 

[kiwilove]

Im thinking that she thinks they are like the good old days...but I have also explained to her that they are easier nowadays...The dirtiness of them I guess has a big impact too...

 

[misspriss]

Im thinking that she thinks they are like the good old days...but I have also explained to her that they are easier nowadays...The dirtiness of them I guess has a big impact too...

An AIO is LITERALLY no different at the change than a disposable, except where you put it when you are done. You pull it off, fold/roll it, and toss it in the bag. It isn't any dirtier than a disposable for the user! She won't be washing them or anything....

The baby has the same amount of waste products, it's just having it in a piece of paper and plastic, or a piece of cloth.

 

[redneckhippy]

I've noticed that a lot of people who are negative about cloth are not aware of what current cloth diapers are like. Heck, until I saw a friend doing it, I thought it was a bunch of folding and pins and something out of Little House on the Prairy.