Need some help urgent!

[Kiki1993]

Hi, my question is quite complicated but will try keep it simple because i confuse myself and im in the situation!
Well my mum has been diagnosed with cancer, she has a lot of medical problems as it is and the doctors are very worried about her coping on her own during treatment. Well my work are not flexible at all in the slightest, when you leave on maternity you dont come back because they dont offer flexible time .. i dont know what to do really, when i got the call about mum it took them longer than an hour to let me go see her and in that time i was crying in front of everyone i couldnt help it shes my mum... thankfully i took a week off the follwoing week so went back to work the friday after finding out thuirsday afternoon .. i dont know what my rights are, iver tried researching but its all gabble goo to me basically i dont know what will happen, but i do know there is chemo, operations that are risky, radiotherapy and more chemo and then theres scans to find out if its spread and if her liver and kidneys and heart can take the extra strains/medicines etc ... i want to ask for flexible time or part time so i still have a job and money coming in but i get more time with mum and get to help her and go with her to apts etc but they have never given anyone part time/flexible working .. not for parents .. one of the workers kid was in hospital for 3 nights and she had to use them asunpaid days to be with him .. does anyone have any advice? I'm kind of lost, i feel so guilty i should be 100% focussed on mum but i cant be because i work 40 plus hours a week and dont get time off for my own apts so will miss her chemo
sessions, operations etc. I would look for a part time job but they don't let you away for interviews and if you pull a sickie you always get caught and then get a warning ... please tell me i have some kind of right .. i want to be there for my mum more than just the weekends, its during the week her apts are

 

[Lisa40]

In the uk they have to 'consider' any request for flexible working but if it doesn't suit the needs of the business then there's no legal obligation to allow it. They do have to prove though that it would affect the business.

Do you have a union? Maybe speak to them & see if you could maybe work flexibly for a short time & see how it works out for the business.

You are entitled to time off for your own medical issues if appointments are in work time but they can still ask you to work that time back another time.

There's no legal requirement unfortunately for them to allow you time off for anyone else unless you are their carer, but again I think that can be given as unpaid leave.

Maybe have a look at the acas website & see what they say. I'll speak to my mum too as she is a hr manager & see if she has any advice
So sorry about your mum too, your employer sounds like an arse!!
xx

 

[LDC]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your mum.

I had a similar experience with my mum when she was diagnosed with cancer. I became her carer and dropped my hours to 16 hours a week. Then I took time off as "domestic" which is what my company (a very large supermarket chain) calls anything that's not directly related to myself. This was unpaid though but I had this leave for three weeks then I was off for bereavement.

Check your works policies, the likelihood is that you'll have to take time off unpaid but I'd imagine there is something to cover your reasons for being off.

Good luck and I hope your mum gets better real soon xx

 

[suzib76]

go to the doctor and get a sick line for yourself, you are under immese stress right now and if you have a line they cant touch you

i came across this 18 years ago when i worked for garfukels. i lived with my grandad and he had lung cancer, he ended up in a hospice and they told me i couldn't leave to go see him the day we got the news that he had just days left. looking back now i should have just left, now im older and wiser and wouldnt think twice about it. my mum told me to get a sick line so i did that afternoon and went in the next day with it at 9am (i was due to start at 11) i told my boss i wasnt working and she said the area manager was in and wanted to see me as she thought i was going to 'pull a sickie' the area manager almost spat at me when she said well you will need to get a sick line to which i replied 'there you go' she was speechless. they tried to bully me as they thought (quite rightly) that i didnt know any better but armed with my doctors note they couldnt touch me.

 

[Pretty Please]

I'd defo get a sick note due to stress - then u should get paid too.

Do u have a child ? Maybe could apply 4 parental leave - that gives u 4 weeks off work but not paid - however employers can reject this..... Same as flexi / part time .

Sorry it's such a tricky time 4 u x