Need some help writing a letter to MW re HBAC

[SmokyJoe78]

I've been having a look at previous posts about letters but can't find exactly what I looking for - thought some of you lovely people might be able to help me

My MW is pretty negative about me having an HBAC and last time I went to see her I was so upset I could barely speak I'm just totally fed up with the negative attitude and all the risks (which I know about and am fine about) being chucked at me

I really need to get into a positive headspace, if this is going to work for me...

So, after a homebirth group meeting, where I just got upset again trying to talk about it all, I decided to write a letter to the MW team to say that me and DH have decided on a homebirth and we understand the risks blah blah and that if my MW can't get on board with that then I need another MW. I just don't know how to phrase it or what exactly to say?!
Any ideas?
I'm also planning to cc the consultant MW, the supervisor of MW, and AIMS.

 

[indigo_fairy]

I feel what you're saying, I'm going for a HBAC too. Luckily, my MW hasn't been too bad, I can't say she's 100% on board with the idea but she hasn't reduced me to tears with the things she's said - but saying that I went in with a strong mindset that no matter what she says it's still my decision. I think you need to ask to see a different MW, don't even see her again if she's upseting you that much, you don't need it! I decided if mine was like that I would refuse to see her again, and ask for someone else to see me.

Regarding writing a letter, if you want to put everything into words so everyone knows your plans, just be clear and specific. I'm not sure of the exact circumstances of your previous birth so I'm not sure what the 'risks' are as such. I know that the uterine rupture risk has come up a few times at my appointments, which I've said I know what the risk is, 0.5%, then questioned them on all the other things that are a higher risk, of which there are many! So it doesn't seem a big enough risk as far as I can see, to need being in hospital for. It just means they can put a timescale on how long they will 'let' me labour..

I think building your confidence on your decision will help you through aswell. With you feeling strong and confident, and your DH too, it makes a big difference. Reading up on natural childbirth, successful VBAC's/HBAC's and just trying to think positive about the birth has helped build ours.

You are due the same time as me too! a day difference in due dates I think

 

[chuck]

Speak to your local PALS service - they help with these kinds of things.

But you can simply put what you have said in writing.

That our MW is unsupportive of your decision to homebirth and you wish to be cared for by another MW who will support you as you have made an informed decision to HB and are aware of the pros and cons.

I would state in fact that not only is your MW unsupportive but how they have made you feel.