Need some positive reinforcement...

[stephie_corin]

Hi ladies...

A bit about me - as soon as I fell pregnant I knew I wanted to have a natural birth. I've got a very good Doula and a very pro-natural birth doctor (the best I can do in Dubai, where there are no birthing centres or midwife births). I've been reading up on natural/pain free births, kept active and am trying to do everything I can to allow a natural, drug free labour.

BUT...

The last few months I feel like my committment is waivering, for the following reasons:

- My doctor said to expect a birth similar to my mother (we are similar in height and build). She had two horrific labours and forcep births.
- I am small and slight with small feet (supposedly an indication of pelvic size) and my DH is 6'4 and there are big male babies on both of our sides.
- a few of my friends have had vaginal deliveries and had over 12 months recovery time and issues with incontinence etc.
- I have an anterior placenta and this is meant to mean a higher chance of back-to-back labour.
- My stomach is huge. Like really really big, and I fear the baby is going to be really big.

I know I sounds really negative but I am really doubting my ability to give birth to this baby naturally and am starting to consider a c-section.

Please please please give me your positive stories - I need some reassurance and support as I am now terrified of giving birth. I don't know how I've managed to do a complete 180 this last month or two.

Thank you. xxx

 

[solitaire89]

Hopfully this will help put your mind at ease

- My doctor said to expect a birth similar to my mother (we are similar in height and build). She had two horrific labours and forcep births.

There is nothing to suggest that you will have the same experience as your mother. I certainly didn't! Did your mother do as much preparation as you will have done to achieve the birth you want?

- I am small and slight with small feet (supposedly an indication of pelvic size) and my DH is 6'4 and there are big male babies on both of our sides.

As a general rule, women tend not to grow babies that are too big for them to birth. I've also read that bigger babies are often easier to birth, as they work better with the mother's body to produce the hormones that relax the body.

- a few of my friends have had vaginal deliveries and had over 12 months recovery time and issues with incontinence etc.

And how many people have you heard of who have had awful recoveries from a c-section?! There will always be someone who has a horror story to tell you. I'd certainly rather take the natural method, then the major abdominal surgery which will certainly have a longer recovery period.

- I have an anterior placenta and this is meant to mean a higher chance of back-to-back labour.

My LO was back to back for the whole labour - only turning as I started to push. I didn't have any pain at all, and no pain relief. A back to back baby doesn't need to be something awful

- My stomach is huge. Like really really big, and I fear the baby is going to be really big.

Your bump may be huge - but that doesn't mean diddly-squat It could easily be fluid. It may also be that you've put on some extra weight (not baby weight ). It could be fluid retention...

As easy as it is for me to say, try to keep calm and keep your focus.

You asked for positive stories - Mines not written down anywhere yet (really should get round to it ), but to cut a long story short - I had a competely natural, drug free labour and birth at home. I had no pain at all, and enjoyed, yes, ENJOYED labour and birth. I would do it again tomorrow! I worked all of Thursday in labour (didn't think it was serious labour as I was expecting the excrutiating pain everyone talks about - it never came!), and LO was born in the early hours of Friday morning. I used Natal Hypnotherapy to keep me calm and focused, and did have a birthing pool (even though I only used it for about an hour) but LO wasn't born in it.

HTH

 

[stephie_corin]

Thank you so much solitaire, I really really appreciate your comments! I guess it's natural to have some fear about childbirth. I'm really grateful for your response.

Steph xxx

 

[bassdesire]

Ditto to what she said. Especially the part about your build and your mothers experience. Every person and every birth is different. This person sounds uninformed.