need someone to talk to

[Yumymumy22]

I'm just 12 weeks pregnant and really struggling with depression.

Today is a really bad day. I don't even know where to start with my emotion. I've suffered with depression on and off as long as I can remember. I can't talk to family cause no one is interested (more they've given up trying to care). My husband just doesn't understand me. He's just so angry at me for my behaviour. He says I neglect his emotions and I don't a how him any love. I've literally lied in bed for 3 days and managed to pull myself out yesterday evening to take my little girl swimming. I can't even see to my own needs right now.

I don't want to talk to a midwife about it because I don't want any skeptical eyes on my when my baby is born. Plus I'm an assistant psychologist now, so this basically degrades the job that I think I'm capable of doing.

I don't really have a question I just needed to talk to someone who won't judge me I guess.

Sorry it's long

 

[Mummy to be x]

I'm so sorry that your going through this pain and I am so very sorry you have no one to talk to or no one to understand you, have you seen a doctor? I strongly advised that you see someone who can help such as a doctor or even a councelor if you want things kept private, midwives and doctors aren't here to judge you Hun, they are here to help. It's so important that you don't keep these feelings bottled up inside of you otherwise things could start to get worse.

I'm sorry your going through this, do you have any friends who know what your going through, who you can sit and talk things through with?

 

[modified]

Plenty of mental health workers have issues with mental health themselves! And you need to talk to your midwife. I am the same, had depression my entire life on and off and it came back at 15 weeks. I've been given extra appointments with her to provide more support and social services hasn't even been mentioned.

 

[HopefulMarla]

I completely understand, and am in the same boat. I think that it helps to get help. Whatever that looks like to you. Focus on the good stuff, like your daughter and the new baby. Try to get support here. Or just write. I know that helps me.

 

[nduati]

U need to see your dr and adjust your meds. There is no need to feel like this. What ever u do don't go off your meds cold turkey. HTH

 

[Yumymumy22]

Just plucked up the courage to tell my mum how I'm feeling. I don't really have any friends that I can't talk to about stuff like this. I told her I've lied in bed crying all day and I can't stop in front of my little girl (though she's now gone out with her dad). Her response was "its your hormones". I really wish people would stop passing off my feelings. I've attempted suicide previously and ended up having a seizure and severe vomited and still had responses like this. I genuinely don't know how to escape my feelings. I may need to speak to a doctor. I can't even bring myself to call them right now. Sorry for ranting but thank you for listening. I guess strangers are my best option.

 

[Mummy to be x]

I'm sorry people are passing it off as hormones, attempted suicide is certainly not hormone related. Please, please go and call your doctor. You HAVE to do it, if not for you then do it for your child and unborn child.

 

[dairymomma]

Please PLEASE call your doctor as soon as you can. There is absolutely NO shame in asking for help in a situation like this. And don't worry about people looking down on you after you have your baby because of your depression either. I was diagnosed with post-partum depression just over a year ago and it recurred in the first trimester of this pregnancy. I ended up dealing with anxiety so bad I was having full-blown anxiety/panic attacks regularly but didn't want to tell anyone because I felt I could handle it on my own. But after one extremely bad night (and a panic attack so bad I nearly called my DH home from work to bring me to the ER), I called my therapist. We talked for over an hour and she calmed me down enough to realize that I couldn't keep hiding my feelings. I then asked my dr for help and after discussing my options, we decided to see how talk therapy worked for the interim. Both my therapist and my doctor praised me for recognizing I needed the help because as they both said it, "Only the strong ask." Sure they've kept a closer eye on me since BUT it's been an immense relief to know that I'm not going through this alone and admitting how bad I felt was really the release I needed. I didn't end up needing medication but it never hurts to tell your doctor what's really going on. They can't help if you don't tell them, right? Hang in there and know that there are people out there who care about you.

 

[Selaphyna]

Please talk to someone. I understand where you are coming from. I've been dealing with depression since I was 10 (the earliest that I can remember). I've been on and off meds since I was 20 (after I had my son). For me, he was my lifesaver. When I was 16, and then again 18, I attempted suicide. I still didnt get on meds until after Christian was born, and my doctor was wonderful, especially after his dad and I split (that brought on my panic attacks). I finally weaned off my meds when I moved to where I live 6 years ago. I still deal with depression, but its hard, especially when OH doesn't believe in depression. He thinks that I can just deal with it and move on, and I shouldn't let it bother me. It's frustrating. I don't talk to him about anymore because of this and now the only people I have to talk about this with is my doctor. I don't get judge because I have a child, and with baby on the way. It's better to get help whether you need to be on meds or just need to talk to someone, than to have something worse happen. So please get help.