Needing some support

[Chiefjen83]

Haven't posted here in a long time but I'm having a really bad day

Alittle bit of back story... My DH and I started ttc our 1st about 4 years ago. I've always had trouble with my weight, so my gyn has always thought that we haven't gotten pregnant because I'm obese. About 8 months ago, I started the process of trying to find out if there was something else wrong. An internal ultrasound found that i have bicornate (heart shaped) uterus. My gyn also found that my thyroid levels were off, so I went to an endocrinologist. She found a large nodule on my thyroid, that turned out to be cancerous. They think that i could have had the tumor growing as long as the past 8 year, hindering all of my weight loss efforts. Since then I've had the tumor and my total thyroid removed, and gone through radiation. Fortunately, the prognosis is good. I'll go back in 6 months to see if the cancer is gone. I'll be able to start ttc again, if i don't need more radiation, in 1 1/2 years.. I'm 29 and my husband is 36 so I know I have time and since being diagnosed i've been pretty optomistic about everything.

I've seen so many people since we started ttc get pregnant, and it hasn't been easy. But I've always been able to get passed my own issues, be happy for them and go on living my life. This past monday, my mom, in a long drawn out dramatic way, told me that my 41 year old aunt, who has a 14 year old son, is pregnant with a baby that she wasn't expecting and doesn't really want. I'm devistated so much more then i've ever been in the passed. Now it's all my mom can talk about and every time I find myself trying to hold back how angry I am. I know it's selfish but I was supposed to be the next one in my family to have children. I don't know how I'm going to be able to be happy for her. It is effecting my whole life right now, I feel so depressed, angry and hurt... not to mention how guilty I feel for feeling this way. I should be focused on trying to get to a normal weight so when I'm able ttc again I'll have a better chance but at this point I feel so depressed I don't want to do anything and I don't know how to pull myself out of it, let a lone be happy for my aunt and uncle.

 

[HearMyPrayers]

Haven't posted here in a long time but I'm having a really bad day

Alittle bit of back story... My DH and I started ttc our 1st about 4 years ago. I've always had trouble with my weight, so my gyn has always thought that we haven't gotten pregnant because I'm obese. About 8 months ago, I started the process of trying to find out if there was something else wrong. An internal ultrasound found that i have bicornate (heart shaped) uterus. My gyn also found that my thyroid levels were off, so I went to an endocrinologist. She found a large nodule on my thyroid, that turned out to be cancerous. They think that i could have had the tumor growing as long as the past 8 year, hindering all of my weight loss efforts. Since then I've had the tumor and my total thyroid removed, and gone through radiation. Fortunately, the prognosis is good. I'll go back in 6 months to see if the cancer is gone. I'll be able to start ttc again, if i don't need more radiation, in 1 1/2 years.. I'm 29 and my husband is 36 so I know I have time and since being diagnosed i've been pretty optomistic about everything.

I've seen so many people since we started ttc get pregnant, and it hasn't been easy. But I've always been able to get passed my own issues, be happy for them and go on living my life. This past monday, my mom, in a long drawn out dramatic way, told me that my 41 year old aunt, who has a 14 year old son, is pregnant with a baby that she wasn't expecting and doesn't really want. I'm devistated so much more then i've ever been in the passed. Now it's all my mom can talk about and every time I find myself trying to hold back how angry I am. I know it's selfish but I was supposed to be the next one in my family to have children. I don't know how I'm going to be able to be happy for her. It is effecting my whole life right now, I feel so depressed, angry and hurt... not to mention how guilty I feel for feeling this way. I should be focused on trying to get to a normal weight so when I'm able ttc again I'll have a better chance but at this point I feel so depressed I don't want to do anything and I don't know how to pull myself out of it, let a lone be happy for my aunt and uncle.

Hey sweetie. First and foremost I applaud you for your struggle with cancer and making it through that in itself its a battle and your stronger than you know just for making it through that!

I can relate to you with the despression and feelig down and not quite knowing how to pull yourself out of the rut. My biggest suggestion would be please talk to your mom and tell her while you are happy for your Aunt and Uncle even though they might not be happy, you'd appreciate it if it wasnt the centre of your conversations with her...or you could just be less confrontational and just change the subject whenever your mom brings up the topic of your Aunt. What you need is distractors, when you start to feel down or depressed find something to distractor your mind from thinking about TTC or not having a baby yet or the struggle and how long its taking. And ask yourself if worrying about TTC is going to change anything, because worrying will only make you stress your body more and there for hinder your possibilities more. Exercise is a great distractor and it will release so much stress and so much build up anxiety its worth! We are strong women for going through what we go through so please just try not to be so hard on yourself, stand up and brush yourself off and keep pushing forward you can do it!

 

[arizonagal]

HearMyPrayers said it all! *hugs*

 

[jessandaj]

Aww im sorry lots of hugs !!! i found out my aunt in law whos in her 40s was pregnant but it was the opposite of the emotion you feel she was the first person in his family i actually felt happy for because she had a stillborn full gestational age and then has been able to have one child who is 14 and then she had this suprise pregnancy unfortunatly it did not end up a viable pregnancy and she misscarried but it still gives me hope and so i thought id share it with you because she actually has fertility issues and despite age and everything naturally concieved again anyways good luck wishing you the best !!!

 

[2have4kids]

Hearmyprayers gave great advice...I second all she said and send you big hugs