Negative people

[Miss_Bump]

How do you deal with them?

BIL is so negative and it hacks me off!

He just bought a house and says he hates it and everything about it is horrible. His job is shift work so he is working over Christmas and says its because noone likes him. His nan is ill and he says that the doctors don't care and they just leave old people to die. He had a stomach upset and was convinced it was cancer!

Everything is negative and I don't know what to say to him??

 

[tina3747]

I can be a negative person! I'm a worst case senario kind of gal and if that doesn't come about I see it as a bonus!!
I dwell too much on things, yesterday I saw a little girl of about 3 out shopping, shed had her arms and legs amputated. I cried thinking about it on the way home and how I would cope seeing my LO the same way. I constantly worry about my kids being kidnapped and paedophiles getting them, would you class this as being negative?
When it comes to my own health or hapiness I'm not so bothered, it's more things happening to other people I think that gets me but they're such negative thoughts!!
My brother has a 2nd interview for a job after being with his last company for 25 years. He was so upbeat about it, I'd say he thinks he's got it. My mind wad thinking that he hadn't and wad being too confident and he should think that he hadn't so it wouldn't set himself up for a fall.

I'm sooo bloody negative!!!

 

[MissWaiting]

Just tell him look I'm happy to hear about family stuff an I'm very sorry that ur nans ill but when your around me please if you have nothing possative to say then say nothing at all and let him know your there for him when he needs you but just explain why u don't want to hear negative all the time maybe tell him to get tested for depression

 

[Blah11]

my oh is a mega pessimist! i ignore for the most part.

 

[Natasha2605]

I'd just try to ignore for the most part. I have a friend who always has multiple things to moan about but I've learnt to just tune out now and look interested. I'm the first to admit I like a moan but not to the extent where it's all I do haha!

 

[smokey]

My oh is the same, its all doom and gloom with him, everyone especialy the traffic lights are out to get him personaly

 

[Kerri B]

My oh is the same, its all doom and gloom with him, everyone especialy the traffic lights are out to get him personaly

LOL love the traffic light comment. Most men I know are like this

 

[Hunbun]

My dads like this. I normally just nod along.

 

[zanDark]

I cut them out of my life!

Of course this probably isn't an option since he's your BIL. I'd just limit seeing him to the absolute minimum and change the subject if he was on one of his negative rants lol

I've had to cut our best man at our wedding out of my life even tho I love him to bits and he's coworkers with my husband because his wife is the biggest pessimist ever. She used to ruin everyone's moods when we got together and even managed to majorly ruin a vacation for 3 couples that we went on!!!!

Life is sooo so so short that I refuse to have people like that ruin my good mood and suck the happiness out of me. You could try talking to him and tell him that being so negative isn't good for his health (mentally and physically) and you're worried about him.

Hopefully he'll try to make things better for himself....it must be horrible having so many negative thoughts

 

[Feltzy]

I know someone who's very negative and also judgemental to throw into the mix and I always come away from visits to them feeling depressed! I don't know how to deal with it though, most people ignore but I'm quite sensitive so I find it hard to ignore.

 

[smelly07]

I worry alot and think the worse however i am very appreciative of everything in my life... knowing people are worse off........im not a moaner................i cant stand people who just constantly moan about everything and dont do anything about it.

 

[Baby France]

Maybe say something to him about it?

My Nan was a negative moaner. Always had to whinge and complain (and actually put complaints in for silly stupid things!!) Once she told me a story about complaining and I just said to her that I thought it wasn't very nice that she had done it.

I would challenge them and question why they feel like that. Its not long before they start to realise themselves that maybe they're always having a moan and sometimes people just want to laugh and have a bit of fun!

 

[ShanandBoc]

........i cant stand people who just constantly moan about everything and dont do anything about it.

This.

 

[rwhite]

He sounds silly. I'd just ignore him and say "mmmm-hmm"

 

[Miss_Bump]

Thanks everyone I kind of zone out now and just agree with him as anything I suggest just gets shrugged off.

I feel as if I just want to shake him!

 

[Duffy]

Alot of people can be negative, I think it comes down to tuning them out if they see there not getting a reaction they just move on to the next person. Ignore him.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Alot of people can be negative, I think it comes down to tuning them out if they see there not getting a reaction they just move on to the next person. Ignore him.

Exactly!! My BIL is soooooooooooooo annoying. Always thinks he is right always looking for a debate/ I am and was so sick of it. Every friggin holiday I had to go through it. Now , years later this is what I do ignore him and my holidays are much more happier
My oldest son is 20 and is so smart and he puts his uncle right in his place, my son now wins every debate Just have to ignore these people and be happy, after awhile it does get easier to do..
XOXO