Nervous break down I think

[addie25]

I'm sitting in what was supposed to be my daughters room. We are using it as storage and were goig to start cleaning it n getting it ready when I was 20 weeks. I would have been twenty weeks this coming Wednesday. I just ripped this room apart throwing everythin out cleanly it up n I dont know why no baby will b coming this summer but I just want it empty. I cant fully empty it bc there's some furniture n big boxes n it's driving me mad I just want it empty n now im sitting here crying. It's been 6 weeks when m I going to be normal again. We will be trying again in a couple months with ivf to make sure our next. Baby is healthy but it seems so far away n I feel so empty.

 

[Jox]

Nothing i can say i know but just wanted to give you a

 

[ericacaca]

Really sorry to hear you feel the same way too. I'd have been 21w4d today and we'd have started decorating this week. Their room is a tip! Full of laundry at the moment. I'v sat in there a few times though and just let rip! Screamed! Cried! Thrown all my teddies around there in a rage! Hugged all the teddies! Its a good job hubby has hidden anything we bought for baby and anything to do with maternity clothes because that would break me if I see them!

I went to parent's today and just froze when I saw baby's pushchair (it was staying there because family is superstitious about having prams at home before baby is born). I just didnt know what to think! It was horrible!

You arent alone honey.

Love and prayers
xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so sorry , I am going through this now and I feel like I am loosing my mind. It's been 4 weeks since I lost my Ava at 18 weeks and I am getting worse not better , I ask all day when this will end I am going to the doctor Thursday to get something for sleep, cause I can't take not sleeping no more. I cry all day long and I feel like I am really going to loose it.
I really am so sorry, I know what you are dealing with and nobody realizes how hard this is. If you need to talk I am here . I see you are in Jersey, we were going to move there last year to Manalapan, but the market was bad so we decided to wait.
Again, I am so deeply sorry

 

[babesx3]

Be gentle on yourself 6 weeks is still a really short time for grieving

 

[addie25]

I am so sorry for ur losses it is so hard! R u ttc again soon? I need to wait for everything to be ready from genetics department wih ivf n get my first period then we will start hopefully a couple months. My husband was so supportive for the first month and now I feel like hen doesnt talk when I bring up how I am feelin like he thinks I should b over it. He moved on n is excited for ivf n he's looking forward. I am looking forward but still thinking of the baby I lost and what I would b doing to prepare for her r now! I don't get y he is lime this he was amazing be4 n now he just ignores it when I bring it ip n says it's over u will b happy when we stRt ivf so be patient! That doesn't help me.

 

[SassyLou]

Sending lots of .

Sarah xxx

 

[ericacaca]

We're waiting to try. I want body to get back in synch and heal after it all. Going to wait until July. Really really really hope to be pregnant by due date though, although that might just be yet another disappointment xxx

 

[addie25]

I am the same I want to be pregnant by my due date but I can't just start whenever I want. I have to get my period and then have to get this xray from ivf doctor to make sure I'm healed. Then if probes are ready from genetics department ( probes r what will make sure our next baby is healthy I dont know how to explain it but it takes 3 weeks to 3 months to make) I find out this week if they r almost done or if it they won't b done till may or June! Once I get my period and those r done I start injections. Not knowing a start date is killing me If I knew when I would b starting I may feel better a bit.

 

[emk10]

Hi, I am the same as you, I just have these days from time to time now, but when I do my OH really doesn't understand and also thinks I should be over it by now!! Its like emotional torture, especially on days when you were due to have a scan etc.

I am having to wait to ttc again, as I am near the end of my nursing course and so need to finish it and quickly find a job so that we are more financially secure. I am due to qualify in September, so will have to wait till october time now. I find this really difficult as part of me just wants to be pregnant again NOW!! x x x

 

[djw47]

I know exactly how you feel as you can tell from my tickers, I lost my little one in September and am pregnant again. I was 18 weeks (or should have been) when I found out that my baby had stopped living around 16 weeks. I was completely devastated and cried every single day until I found out I was pregnant again 5 months later. I felt like I would never care about life again, even though I had good days where I would enjoy my other 2 children, at night after everyone went to bed I would want to die and cry until I felt sick. Once I became pregnant with this baby I was too worried about it happening again to be able to be depressed. I was just scared all the time. I still thought about my angel every day but I was a little excited for the one to come. Now, I'm almost 12 weeks and for some reason my sadness has come back. Not quite as bad as it was before but bad enough that I have been crying all day every day for the past week, having nightmares about losing this baby just like the last one. I am one to talk about and share ALL of my feelings and cry it out whenever I can, but I feel like no matter how this pregnancy turns out, no matter how much time has passed, the loss of my baby is a wound that will never fully heal and will continue to reopen at different times in life. I am SO sorry for all the ladies in this group who have experienced loss. I wish there was some magic words we could say to each other or a way to turn back time and find a way to save our little ones, but unfortunately this is a battle wound of life that we now all have to learn how to live with. to all of you. I really hope this gets easier with time.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I know exactly how you feel as you can tell from my tickers, I lost my little one in September and am pregnant again. I was 18 weeks (or should have been) when I found out that my baby had stopped living around 16 weeks. I was completely devastated and cried every single day until I found out I was pregnant again 5 months later. I felt like I would never care about life again, even though I had good days where I would enjoy my other 2 children, at night after everyone went to bed I would want to die and cry until I felt sick. Once I became pregnant with this baby I was too worried about it happening again to be able to be depressed. I was just scared all the time. I still thought about my angel every day but I was a little excited for the one to come. Now, I'm almost 12 weeks and for some reason my sadness has come back. Not quite as bad as it was before but bad enough that I have been crying all day every day for the past week, having nightmares about losing this baby just like the last one. I am one to talk about and share ALL of my feelings and cry it out whenever I can, but I feel like no matter how this pregnancy turns out, no matter how much time has passed, the loss of my baby is a wound that will never fully heal and will continue to reopen at different times in life. I am SO sorry for all the ladies in this group who have experienced loss. I wish there was some magic words we could say to each other or a way to turn back time and find a way to save our little ones, but unfortunately this is a battle wound of life that we now all have to learn how to live with. to all of you. I really hope this gets easier with time.

I want to thank you for your post it means so much to me . I am older ,40 to be exact and I try to be strong in front of my family, but at night I hold her sonogram pictures and my little sweater that I took my three boys home from the hospital in and what she would have came home in and I cry my eyes out. My heart is beating so fast and I am scared of getting a heart attack or something/ I never knew the pain could be so bad, the loss of a child is a pain that you just don't know unless you have been through it. I would have not even been able to imagine the amount of sadness I am experiencing at this time, when I say my heart is broken it is not a metaphor it is literally broken
I take a hot bath and keep the water running so they don't hear me cry, I sat today at the cemetery for over an hour and just cried and I begged God to please just lessen this pain a little for me, but he isn't , I beg him to please give me a sign that she is ok and that she knows I would have given my own life in order for her to be here I just don't know what to do anymore. Nothing I do eases this pain , some days I just stare out the window and I don't know what i am searching for. I just want my Ava back. I never had a relationship with my mother and I have 3 boys and never is a million years did I think I would have a daughter, then after a 11 years a little surprise that we were not even trying for comes along and now she is gone and I don't know why/ I want to get pregnant again but honestly I am scared to death. I can't go through this again. Not because I am terrified but because I might not make it if it were to happen again . I just want to feel a little alive again and I don't know when that will happen for me/
xoxoxooxoxoxo

 

[addie25]

I know exactly how you feel as you can tell from my tickers, I lost my little one in September and am pregnant again. I was 18 weeks (or should have been) when I found out that my baby had stopped living around 16 weeks. I was completely devastated and cried every single day until I found out I was pregnant again 5 months later. I felt like I would never care about life again, even though I had good days where I would enjoy my other 2 children, at night after everyone went to bed I would want to die and cry until I felt sick. Once I became pregnant with this baby I was too worried about it happening again to be able to be depressed. I was just scared all the time. I still thought about my angel every day but I was a little excited for the one to come. Now, I'm almost 12 weeks and for some reason my sadness has come back. Not quite as bad as it was before but bad enough that I have been crying all day every day for the past week, having nightmares about losing this baby just like the last one. I am one to talk about and shar
e ALL of my feelings and cry it out
whenever I can, but I feel like no
matter how this pregnancy turns out,
no matter how much time has passed,
the loss of my baby is a wound that
will never fully heal and will continue
to reopen at different times in life. I
am SO sorry for all the ladies in this
group who have experienced loss. I
wish there was some magic words
we could say to each other or a way
to turn back time and find a way to
save our little ones, but unfortunately
this is a battle wound of life that
now all have to learn how to live with. to all of you. I really hope this gets easier with time.

I am so sorry for ur loss! I know how u feel it comes on and off for me. I know I will b scared next pregnant n I m upset bout hat bc I want to enjoy it. I knew from 8 weeks there was a problem so from 8 weeks to 14 weeks as sadness then the loss n more sadness. I actually got excited today c I got my first period so soon hopefully next month we can start again. I won't forget my baby girl ever but I am excited to be pregnant again. Just scared at how I will react when I am pregnant I don't want to b 2 scared.

 

[sweetcheeks78]