Nesting instinct vs Messy Partner

[LostandFound]

Last time we were expecting, hubby and I had a LOT of fall-outs about mess. I generally prefer a clean and tidy house and put a lot of effort it. It's a more relaxing environment and also I work from home. However, hubs is somewhat careless, mess and often unhygienic (his parents are much worse though- he definitely learned it there).

There has been some improvement, but I find that the pregnancy hormones make me EXTRA sensitive about this issue. I just lost my temper about it a bit today. I want the place to be clean and safe and lovely for my babies, like a primal urge I can't ignore. I feel that I can't relax as I'm ALWAYS cleaning up after him. Also, things are always getting broken or damaged due to him being careless and not listening to me.


I take it so personally because I feel I've put a lot of heart and soul into creating a really hospitable home, but I just can't keep up with his destruction, so I feel too depressed to have anyone over. The only time its nice is when I'm not working and have all day long to make it nice- and that feels depressing to me that it can only be nice if I literally do it all myself and concentrate on less of a career.

Anyone have this problem and/or experienced solutions?

 

[IchigoMewMew]

My hubby is messy and really rubbish at noticing for himself that things need tidying/washing up etc although its completely obvious..... I usually just say to him can you do *insert chore* today please. My friends have come up with a rota that they've put on a chalkboard, maybe that would help him do things? I feel your frustration, the amount of Sundays I've spent cleaning the entire place only to come home from work Monday if he's off to find it looking like a complete trash heap......... :/ so embarrassing if people want to come round, I usually make excuses to go to them or out for lunch etc

 

[Dark_Star]

Is it financially possible for you to hire a cleaner for a couple hours a week? This is what I am planning to do once I get more pregnant.

 

[puggyflump]

I totally understand your frustrations. My partner is 100% the same. Over the years I've asked him a few times wouldn't he be embarrassed if someone turned up at the door and he had to let them in with all his mess everywhere. The answer is yes but he doesn't change. I've given up and just live with clearing up after him all the time lol x