augustbaby09
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Ok well this is my first post to this section. This may be long but this is my situation.
Iam 21 (soon to be STB 22) and iam 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. I met Mr "X" in january 2007 he was 28 at the time and i was 19.The age gap didnt matter as we got on so well.He was my first actual boyfriend.
Mr X has a 7 (STB 8 ) and a 9 (STB 10)son. He met a woman when the son was 6 months old(she'd been left my her partner). They were together for 9 months roughly.He wanted to leave the woman eventually but she announced she was pregnant with his daughter.So for the next 5/6 years he stayed with her for the sake of his daughter and her son.The boy doesn't know that X isnt his real father though (although he has mothers surename)
From everything i know of their mother she isn't exactly the nicest of people - she used to sell his belongings for money , sh doesnt care for her kids much and uses them as a weapon.She is more interested in going to bingo and dossing.She uses the kids for money basically and he has them EVERY weekend so sha can go out with her bf or go and get drunk. So he says he wasted many years of his life staying in the house not loving her but being their for the kids.
Literally a month into our relationship i fell pregnant ( ill admit we had been stupid). i did have a termination in feb 07 at 5 wks. He didnt come with me to the clinic on both my visits.So i felt pretty bad about that.ANyways things carried on and i was on the pill and we were happy.We'd have our ups and downs - mainly because of his kids.Purely because when i was there he'd be rude to me infront of them and plus me and him were never able to have atleast one weekend (mainly coz he didnt want to tell HER he couldnt have them) as she'd purposly kick up a fuss.So i got made to be the out who didnt like kids!
In November 2007 i wasn't well and fell pregnant i told him straight away and he said i should have a termination.I was adopted as a child and i love my adoptive very much so in some ways ive been slightly against abortion.As iam greatful my biological mother gave me the chance in life. I said i wasn't sur ei could go through with it. We didnt discuss the pregnancy and at 11 weeks he suddenly said to me iam guessing we are having the baby so we better think of names.He said he was excited and told his parent.Only problem he said was telling the kids mum (as she in unable to have kids now plus she is a headcase anyways). Befire he said anything i ended up losing the baby at 14 wks (march 2008 ).I was rushed into hospital and spent the night.That evening he had had the kids and couldn't leave them so i had to spend the night alone on a drip until my mum could get there.
We didnt really talk about the miscarriage and few months later when we argued he would say he neve rwanted a child with me. Over the months we were up and down.Iam very against drugs and i admit he is a hardworker but he smokes too much weed.I find it makes him not have many emotions and he gets angry easily.When i cry he goes very much on deffesnsive and says i do it for attention.I see it now he would very much make me believe i was in the wrong.Although i do think he cared for me he would make me feel he could do without me and i wouldnt be a loss to him. Not nic e- but i was in love and id rush and do everything possible for him like an idiot to be honest.Always pamper him tell him i loved him and would make sure he always had his favourite food etc.
Iam now 19 weeks pregnant and didnt find out until i was 10 weeks .Id been on the pill and had been slightly stupid and kept taking it without a break.Id been slightly unwell and on few occasions i missed some.I was obviously scared to tell him and i regret it now but i kept quiet (scared basically). I knew he would say I planned it and i was scared of what he would say.I knew from finding out i couldnt bare to go through more heavy bleeding, loss and guilt. In january this year we had a few days apart and he's said he wanted to split.Like usual though we eventually were ok. In feb again we had moe days apart and then on 13th feb we went out for the day and had lunch together and basically a laugh. I always spent weekdays in essex with him and then weekends id go kent with my mum.So i said bye and spoke to him on valentines day (i purposly hadn tmentioned doing anything as i knew he had kids and plus we wernt 100% lovey dovey). That night i went out with my mum and left phone at home - found 11 missed calls!! He isnt one for phoning that much so i phoned back ALOT and no reply.Turned phone off.Next day found messages saying please phone me etc.So i did - NOTHING. Go on facebook and find ive been blocked! Iam then ignored in phone calls and txts then get one message saying ive had time to think but its over for good you must realise this. Ill keep to my word and speak to you in good time maybe then ill give you respect you deserve.My belongings were at flay but i was too scared to go up. I kept txting sayin gi urgently needed to talk.He wouldnt reply so i ended up having to send a message telling him iam sorry and iam pregnant.
Well..... i got a message along the lines of "your a selfish c*** you wont have a hold of me ill only ever have two kids your on your own.You have issues sort your life out!" Its been 4 weeks since i last saw him ive suffered depression so im not coping well.Ive only my mum too. I cry everyday i dont know if ive mad eright decision or what.I cant get over it.... everyday i feel worse. I send the occasional txt saying iam thinking of him and that i wish he'd see how much he is hurting me. I dont mention the baby in txts and its not money im after and i didnt do this to trap him. There are days when i just wish i wasnt alive because i get very depressed and he was my first love and i should hate him but even now i love him so much. I go bed crying and wake up crying. I just don't know what to do - financially my mum can help but i now am full of guilt.I felt rejection after knowing i was adopted and i dont have a big support network so iam struggling.I dont know really how ive made it this far as i hate everyday. Im just scared .Before when i lost baby he said the only reason he then felt happy about the baby was because he could see i would have gone through with it even without him.
Sorry this is sooo long ive rammbles just ive hardly anyone to talk to about this.I just wish and pray everyday he will talk to me. I miss him so much.
Iam 21 (soon to be STB 22) and iam 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. I met Mr "X" in january 2007 he was 28 at the time and i was 19.The age gap didnt matter as we got on so well.He was my first actual boyfriend.
Mr X has a 7 (STB 8 ) and a 9 (STB 10)son. He met a woman when the son was 6 months old(she'd been left my her partner). They were together for 9 months roughly.He wanted to leave the woman eventually but she announced she was pregnant with his daughter.So for the next 5/6 years he stayed with her for the sake of his daughter and her son.The boy doesn't know that X isnt his real father though (although he has mothers surename)
From everything i know of their mother she isn't exactly the nicest of people - she used to sell his belongings for money , sh doesnt care for her kids much and uses them as a weapon.She is more interested in going to bingo and dossing.She uses the kids for money basically and he has them EVERY weekend so sha can go out with her bf or go and get drunk. So he says he wasted many years of his life staying in the house not loving her but being their for the kids.
Literally a month into our relationship i fell pregnant ( ill admit we had been stupid). i did have a termination in feb 07 at 5 wks. He didnt come with me to the clinic on both my visits.So i felt pretty bad about that.ANyways things carried on and i was on the pill and we were happy.We'd have our ups and downs - mainly because of his kids.Purely because when i was there he'd be rude to me infront of them and plus me and him were never able to have atleast one weekend (mainly coz he didnt want to tell HER he couldnt have them) as she'd purposly kick up a fuss.So i got made to be the out who didnt like kids!
In November 2007 i wasn't well and fell pregnant i told him straight away and he said i should have a termination.I was adopted as a child and i love my adoptive very much so in some ways ive been slightly against abortion.As iam greatful my biological mother gave me the chance in life. I said i wasn't sur ei could go through with it. We didnt discuss the pregnancy and at 11 weeks he suddenly said to me iam guessing we are having the baby so we better think of names.He said he was excited and told his parent.Only problem he said was telling the kids mum (as she in unable to have kids now plus she is a headcase anyways). Befire he said anything i ended up losing the baby at 14 wks (march 2008 ).I was rushed into hospital and spent the night.That evening he had had the kids and couldn't leave them so i had to spend the night alone on a drip until my mum could get there.
We didnt really talk about the miscarriage and few months later when we argued he would say he neve rwanted a child with me. Over the months we were up and down.Iam very against drugs and i admit he is a hardworker but he smokes too much weed.I find it makes him not have many emotions and he gets angry easily.When i cry he goes very much on deffesnsive and says i do it for attention.I see it now he would very much make me believe i was in the wrong.Although i do think he cared for me he would make me feel he could do without me and i wouldnt be a loss to him. Not nic e- but i was in love and id rush and do everything possible for him like an idiot to be honest.Always pamper him tell him i loved him and would make sure he always had his favourite food etc.
Iam now 19 weeks pregnant and didnt find out until i was 10 weeks .Id been on the pill and had been slightly stupid and kept taking it without a break.Id been slightly unwell and on few occasions i missed some.I was obviously scared to tell him and i regret it now but i kept quiet (scared basically). I knew he would say I planned it and i was scared of what he would say.I knew from finding out i couldnt bare to go through more heavy bleeding, loss and guilt. In january this year we had a few days apart and he's said he wanted to split.Like usual though we eventually were ok. In feb again we had moe days apart and then on 13th feb we went out for the day and had lunch together and basically a laugh. I always spent weekdays in essex with him and then weekends id go kent with my mum.So i said bye and spoke to him on valentines day (i purposly hadn tmentioned doing anything as i knew he had kids and plus we wernt 100% lovey dovey). That night i went out with my mum and left phone at home - found 11 missed calls!! He isnt one for phoning that much so i phoned back ALOT and no reply.Turned phone off.Next day found messages saying please phone me etc.So i did - NOTHING. Go on facebook and find ive been blocked! Iam then ignored in phone calls and txts then get one message saying ive had time to think but its over for good you must realise this. Ill keep to my word and speak to you in good time maybe then ill give you respect you deserve.My belongings were at flay but i was too scared to go up. I kept txting sayin gi urgently needed to talk.He wouldnt reply so i ended up having to send a message telling him iam sorry and iam pregnant.
Well..... i got a message along the lines of "your a selfish c*** you wont have a hold of me ill only ever have two kids your on your own.You have issues sort your life out!" Its been 4 weeks since i last saw him ive suffered depression so im not coping well.Ive only my mum too. I cry everyday i dont know if ive mad eright decision or what.I cant get over it.... everyday i feel worse. I send the occasional txt saying iam thinking of him and that i wish he'd see how much he is hurting me. I dont mention the baby in txts and its not money im after and i didnt do this to trap him. There are days when i just wish i wasnt alive because i get very depressed and he was my first love and i should hate him but even now i love him so much. I go bed crying and wake up crying. I just don't know what to do - financially my mum can help but i now am full of guilt.I felt rejection after knowing i was adopted and i dont have a big support network so iam struggling.I dont know really how ive made it this far as i hate everyday. Im just scared .Before when i lost baby he said the only reason he then felt happy about the baby was because he could see i would have gone through with it even without him.
Sorry this is sooo long ive rammbles just ive hardly anyone to talk to about this.I just wish and pray everyday he will talk to me. I miss him so much.
xxx
