New here and need some help

[trulybl3ssed]

I have 3 kids and another on the way. One is 5 (girl), the other is 3 (girl) and the other will be a year old in 8 days (boy). Anyway, we live in NY and it's very expensive here. We want a better life for our children so we've been talking about moving to PA for the past 3 years. The reason I've held myself back from actually moving there is because of my mom and dad. We are very close and my kids grew up around my parents. It's just to the point now that I really don't want to live in NY anymore and if I stay it's to satisfy my parents and not hurt them. I don't want to hurt ANYONE during this process but I don't know what else to do. I know in the longrun if we go to PA I could provide a better life and environment for my children. Here's the dilemma...my 5 year old is starting school this September but we plan on leaving NY next year. My mom doesn't want us to go of course but she said if we're really going to leave then I shouldn't even put my 5 year old in school since it's not mandatory. She feels if I send her and then she finishes the school year and we move to PA, I'll be taking her away from her friends and that's going to hurt her. I thought it would be ok because she can keep in touch with these new kids and have new friends in PA and her old friends here in NY. I thought of not sending her to school though but I don't want to hurt my kid. It's just that she'll be going to school here and she'll have to get used to this and then next year she'll have to get used to a whole new school with new kids and everything else. I really don't know what to do. What would you ladies do? Plus, if I send her I gotta wait until June to leave the State and only have 2-3 months to find a place and get settled out in PA before school starts again, but if I don't send her I could leave as early as March when our taxes come in.

Seriously, I've been struggling with this decision for months now and I don't know what to do!! Should I send her, or let her stay home and then let her start 1st grade in PA?? Any input would be appreciated!!

 

[trulybl3ssed]

Nevermind. I got help someplace else. Thanks anyway.

 

[MiniMomOfMany]

So sorry no one answered! I think your little one will be fine whatever you choose. Five year olds are generally very social creatures and move from one friendship to another pretty fluidly even if there are no moves involved. My personal feeling is that five year olds learn better through unstructured play and interaction with parents anyway, so if you do decide to keep her home, you won't be hurting her or depriving her at all! HTH!

 

[BabyGirl999]

I would send her. I think it would be easier for her, and less scary, to get used to a new school if she already had experience of school iykwim?

 

[holly2234]

I would send her. I moved house when i was 8 and went to a new school and got on fine.

 

[seoj]

I concur... I would send her. We actually moved mid year when our oldest was in 7th grade... and trust me, she thought it was THE most detrimental thing ever. She was so sad over it for months... but literally, once we moved, she found new friends and loved her new school so much better... we just had the make the best choice for our family. Even though I know it was hard on her in the short run... she adjusted very quickly and is so much happier now and doing better in school. FYI- we didn't even move that far away... just a new school district! But a much nicer neighborhood and one we could afford and better school system overall.

The younger they are, the easier this transition is... at her age, she'll be very resilient to the change... and you are doing what is best for your family overall. A tough decision I'm sure though.

Best of luck with everything!!!

 

[JASMAK]

I would send her too. Sure, she will miss her friends, but she will make more! My daughter missed kindergarten by 5 days due to her birthday, and she was so BORED at home. I would send her...that is what I would do anyways. lol. I can totally understand wanting to raise her somewhere else, and I am sure your parents will understand, even if they do miss her terribly. There are sacrafices in life...and it will work out.

Also, this section is kind of slow..it takes awhile for people to respond...I don't think anyone was ignoring your post. x