New to infertility...support please?

[AmorBebe]

My husband & I have been trying to conceive for a year and decided to go in and have an SA done, as my husband has had one testicle removed due to testicular cancer. We got the SA results 3/9/11, which were low sperm count (2mil) & low motility. The doctor said that IVF, donor sperm or adoption are our 3 options. I was just floored. I knew that the cancer could have hindered our ability to get pregnant, but with all the research I did, I had convinced myself we could still get pregnant naturally because my husband never underwent chemotherapy or radiation. So, now I just feel like my world has been turned upside-down. It didn't help to find out last night that my sister-in-law is two months pregnant with my next niece or nephew. I'm very happy for them, but the news was hard to take, just 4 days after being told I will never have that chance. I am seriously considering IVF. Does anyone have an opinion on why this would be a good choice or not? Has anyone had success with IVF, due to male fertility issues? The decision isn't an easy one. We were quoted an $18,000, cost for IVF. There is something that makes me feel selfish about wanting to have my husband's baby, especially knowing how many children are in need of parents. We had decided that adoption was in our future prior to finding out this recent news. However, it was our plan to have our first child naturally considering our ages (I'm 31 and my husband is 34). Now I'm just rambling, but I have found myself extremely upset and feeling very much alone. I do not care to discuss this with friends and family, so any support here would be very nice. I'm not sure where else to go. Thanks!!

 

[HuskyMomWI]

You are not alone. It is so hard to talk to friends/family about fertility issues. Unless they have gone through it they don't understand the roller coaster of emotions that you go through or how alone/inadequate it makes you feel. Please know that you are not alone. It is not selfish to want your husband's child and now may be the time. You just have to make the difficult decision of which option to go with. It is a gamble but you have to do what is right for you.

Best wishes to you.

 

[crystal443]

Just wanted to wish you best of luck, hearing you won't conceive without help is difficult but you can now figure out the best plan for you and your OH Good Luck hun

 

[seoj]

Ah hun, I'm SO sorry it wasn't better news... I know how frustrating it can all be when you just want a baby and it's not happening!!!! My hubby and I were trying for a long time before we finally saw a FS and found out his count was a bit lower than we thought and the motility/morphology was borderline (under what they like to see) and that I had higher FSH levels... so we had a LOT working against us. But it's not impossible!!!! And we just had to keep the faith that it would happen one way or another...

I would think IVF would be your best bet at this point... HOWEVER, if your like me, then you'd want to do all you can first to make sure. LOL. Maybe research some supplements your hubby could take for a few months to see if that improves his sperm count first... although we were told that nothing would help much, my hubby started taking Fertilaid for Men and his count improved! Maybe coincidence? But I don't think so. I do know that counts can vary greatly each month even with a man that has "normal" count-- so it's not gonna hurt to be our own advocate for a bit first.

Then, if IVF feels like what you want to do... that would give you the best odds at conceiving. As it only takes ONE good sperm to fertilize an egg... so if you had 6 eggs harvested, then you'd only need 6 good sperm! Much less than millions right?

Just know your NOT alone hun... so so many couples face these issues. It's never fun. It's never what we want to hear. But, in the long run, once it works- all will be well worth it. Just do your best to stay positive... and KNOW this will happen. It may not be how you wanted it to happen- but that won't matter in the end

Sending you LOADS of good ju ju and keeping my fingers and toes crossed for ya hun!!!!!

 

[mrsmx]

hi there. . I just wanted to let you know we are in same situation. My hubby has anti sperm which maker them have pretty much no motility At all. Next to no chance. Our only option is ivf which my very first appointment next month. After tryin for so long i was half expecting somethin. I No it tough but sounds like ivf may be best option for you too. A lot of women get bfp first go so its got to be worth the chance x good luck hun what ever you decided x

 

[slb80]

I just wanted to say I unterstand what you are going through. We also had the very same news as you last week. DF has 1million per ml and we were told ICSI was our only hope. Being in the uk we sometimes get funding from the nhs for it but it is a postcode lottery, right now it isn't looking good for us getting that funding but we are starting to save now for treatment as I do feel it is worth giving it at least 1 chance.

It is not selfish at all to want your husbands child and it is so natural. I just wanted you to know you are not alone hun and if you ever need someone to talk about it to we are all here. Take care xx

 

[Springy]

You are not alone at all. There are so many wonderful women on this forum who can provide you with the support and friendship that you can't find in women who have not been through the struggles of infertility.

As hard as it is, try to stay positive and trust that you will have your own children naturally. And it is NOT selfish at all to want to have your husband's children.

I can't comment on your specific situation and what would be the best path forward as my husband and I are classifed right now as "unexplained" infertility. Just know that no matter what you have all of us to turn to for support, advice and people to rant to!

 

[readyformore]

Oh, big ((hugs)) hun. That's hard news to hear. I'm sure that once you have time to process all of the information, you'll know in your heart what you want to do.

There is absolutely nothing selfish about wanting to have your and your husband's biological child. That's a natural desire. Women can feel so guilty about so many things, don't let the desire to have your own baby weight heavily on your heart.

 

[Mrs G]

Hi
I was devastated when we were told ICSI was our only chance of conceiving together and I remember crying that I didn't want a test tube baby!!! Personally we never considered any option that didn't include us both.

I can honestly tell you now though that although it was all consuming and at times heart breaking, the whole process is now all a distant memory. It is completely irrelevant to me now how we got Lily and it is a whole other life time away.

Lots of luck to you
xx

 

[AmorBebe]

Thank all of you SO MUCH for all of your support and encouragement. My husband & I went to an IVF seminar last night. After a discussion, we've decided that I will call today to set up my first appointment. Though I feel like I should be excited, I am a little. However, the disappointment is still there. I am looking forward to starting the process.

Thanks again everyone!!