new to this...1st miscarriage

[BrookieG]

hey everyone, i found out i was pregnant after only 3 months of trying, couldnt get the smile off my face. My fiance brought forward all our wedding plans and surprised me with a wedding 3 days before our baby's 12 week scan. I was higher than cloud 9. Then my world came crumbling down around me. I searched and searched the screen looking for my baby and all i saw was a black hole, my baby died at 5 weeks. I had a evacuation of the womb on 24th april. Im not coping. Im fed up putting on a brave face to everyone, feel like the world is going on aound me but im still stuck in that scan room looking for my baby, ive just functioned and went thru the motions since. I had an infection n got snti-bis from doc stopped bleeding bout 2 wks ago but now when i wipe i have a brownish discharge, sometimes with stringy bits in it...is this normal?? How long should it take for your first period after the op? Im desparate to start trying again. Sorry for the novel but i feel suffocated by what im feeling and despite how fantastic my husband has bn i feel totally alone.. Brooke xx

 

[Kiki09]

HI, so sorry for your loss, did not want to just read and run, Its a hard time dealing with the loss and your discharge etc all sound normal, Iwas the same after I lost my baby, though I was further on and the bleeding took 6 weeks to stop, the discharge was the same, think its the body just sorting itself out. My first period was 8 weeks after I lost the baby, but it was not like my normal period, it was really heavy and lasted about 6 -7 days, then my next one came 28 days after that, this was back to normal ...its also normal to want to start again right away, I did, but your body needs time and it will let you know when it is ready by getting back on track with normal periods etc.... hope that helps.. hugs to you.

 

[Laurenj22]

Hi Brooke

Just wanted to say I'm really sorry to hear what has happened and I know how your feeling as I went through the same thing in February.

It does get easier to cope and you start to draw positives from your loss, I had my next period after a natual m/c 6 weeks later and conceived again the month after that.

I thought I'd never get pg again and here I am 8 weeks along, petrified and crossing everything that this one will stick.

I'm sorry that you had to get such bad news after your wedding but I hope you and your OH can work together to get through it and you'll come out of the other side stronger.

PM me if you want to talk to someone, it sometimes helps to have a rant at the injustice of it all. I used to pass people in the street shouting at their children and want to shake them because they didn't appreciate how lucky they were.

xxxx

 

[BrookieG]

thank you, it helps so much to know other people experience or have experienced what i am. I appreciate you taking the time to reply too. I forgot to add that the hospital phoned me on friday asking me to go in on tuesday to talk with the surgeon and discuss the findings..thats all the nurse told me, i wasnt aware that i would have a follow up appointment and am now totally petrified he's gonna tell me i did something to cause the m/c, that there's something wrong with my eggs or that i cant have kids...is it normal to have an app with surgeon after a d&c?? xx

 

[todteach]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. With my first miscarriage I had a d&c, followed by terrible cramping that was making me faint, had a fever & was passing large silver coloured clots. The doctor put me on Keflex and sent me for another scan. I was still bleeding heavily from the first surgery. I had retained products of conception leftover from the d&c, and had to have a second surgery eleven days after the first.

Could this possibly be your period returning? Mine arrived thirty days after the first d&c, and it was out of sorts for the first few months, never arriving when it was suppose to.

As for the followup, I didn't have a followup with the surgeon afterwards, just my regular doctor who was following my pregnancy. I was sent for bloodwork to follow my bhcg levels down to below 5. Is it possible that the surgeon is wanting to do this for you?

Also, you have done NOTHING wrong. You didn't cause this miscarriage to happen. You did everything right. Unfortunately (and slap me if you want to) twenty percent of pregnancies are lost to miscarriage. It is absolutely terrible and heartbreaking, I've been there twice. After having two losses, I am undergoing a variety of tests to see why I can't stay pregnant. Often with women, no reason is found at all. Doctors will often call this "bad luck", not a very good way of putting it, I know.

I'm so sorry hun. Wish I could make this feel a little better for you. Sending you love and support. The ladies on here are wonderful and have helped me through a lot of my grief. We're all here if you need us.

 

[catfromaus]

Hi Brooke,
I'm so sorry about what has happened. Emotionally, I think what you are going through is very normal. My miscarriage was 2 1/2 weeks ago, and sometimes I feel fine, other times I don't. Overall though, I know that I was forever changed by the life I carried, and I'll never be the same. I'm glad your OH is so wonderful. Mine has been too, and it has helped heaps.
I really hope things start to look up for you soon, keep posting, I find it really good to just have a giant vent when I start feeling really bad. It helps to see that all these strangers have cared enough to take the time to reply.

cat
xxx

 

[dan-o]

So sorry to hear this hun

I've also had the stringy stuff coming out & I've been bleeding on and off for the whole 10 weeks since my op (sometimes brown goop, tmi sorry)

I think we all recover physically at different rates, so your regular cycle should hopefully resume about 4-12 weeks from the date of your loss.

Sending you hugs, hope it goes OK on tuesday

 

[SarahC]

So very sorry for your loss, I have been through similar & you will find lots of support here

 

[superp123]

So sorry for your loss.
Emotionally, you're completely normal. I'm now recovering from my third loss and I have to say that each one has been different emotionally. The tricky part is allowing yourself to feel however you feel and realizing that there's no hard fast rules about what you should be feeling.
I don't think your surgeon wants to see you to tell you you did something wrong. Which, btw, is completely normal for you to think... sadly, mc is something that is truly out of your hands. However helpless you may feel, you're not to blame. I've never met with a surgeon, but that could be a silver lining for you. You may be one of the few who get to understand what/where it all went wrong. Lets hope that he's got something to say that you'll find comforting, and helpfull. FX
As for the discharge, I think everyone's a bit different. I had virtually no bleeding post op. But started brown spotting at cd21 all the way till 5 days ago when my AF started. I think as long as you don't feel like you could have another infection, you're body is probably just trying to sort it all out. Remember all those hormones have to balance back out.
Sending you massive hugs hun. We're here if you need to talk, cry or vent.
P

 

[Donelle]

so sorry for your loss, I too have just recently went through a miscarriage last week of a very much wanted frst baby, I have found ths forum very helpful to read through. I am dreading putting on a brave face and going back to work next week.

I too am desperate to start trying again, all the best for you app on tue xx

 

[BrookieG]

i just want to say a huge thank you to all u lovely ladies who have replied. Ive taken so much comfort from every single word you have all written. Kinda scared that no one else has had to go back to the surgeon though, i've always bn petrified i couldnt have kids and just now thats all i cant think he's going to tell me. it now seems like everyone around me is pregnant! 2 of my friends have announced they are pregnant, and 2 of the mums from my nursery have too...i feel like such a bad friend coz instead of being happy for my friends i feel nothing but anger! part because one of them chose to have the op i had to endure because the baby wasnt wanted...life can be so cruel but hopefully all this anger and horrible bitterness will fade. You have no idea how much you have all helped me by replying and i thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Im so sorry for your losses too. All our angels will have the best cloud in heaven. huggles to everyone xx

 

[FEDup1981]

So sorry hun xxx

 

[borntobeamum]

I dint want to read and run, my circumstances are different, but wanted to send you so much hugs just now.

xxxxx

 

[AP]

Hey BrookieG

My story started out just the same, after 3 months of trying. I was in pieces.

The thing is, that everyone will seem pregnant now. Its just that you notice it more! OH had to hold me down on the bus journey home from the hospital when about 5 pregnant women got on the bus.

A few weeks later OH and me where in a Chinese takeaway where he knew the girl who was serving. She was pregnant,and he asked me to come and look at her bump.

I just about murdered him, and was very very rude in front of the girl.

Its only natural to think that everyone else seems pregnant but you. As for you going to see the specialist, take the opportunity. Everywhere is different and its great you're being cared for so well.

Also dont think that something is wrong with you personally. I did this. It caused some awful feelings in my relationship and I was very bitter for a while.

There is a happy ending for everyone here, i promise. But you're on the best place to let it all out!

 

[gemsio]

Hi Brooke,i'm so sorry for you loss, i went through the same thing on christmas day. I can honestly say it hasn't taken me upto this point 5 months later to feel normal again.
i went through all the stages of total devastation to anger.
I promise you, you will find a way to cope it does take time, I felt the same i felt so mad with people around me for just getting on with their lives, when mine was falling apart.
thats when i found this forum, the people on here helped me so much, and have had a big input to me healing.
Log on when you need to and just talk your way through it, there will always be someone here to listen.
regarding your periods, it took me a while for mine to get back to normal, i had one a month to the day of my miscarriage, it will be different for eveyone, just let your body heal, and give your heart time to heal, remember you have been through the mill and it will take time.
lots of love hun. xxxx