New to this site. TTC Month 8, and feeling alone.

[Dreamer_8604]

So...
I'm new to this, but figured it couldn't hurt. I've been TTC for 8 months, (I know that's probably nothing compared to most people) and every time I get my period or a negative test, it's a punch right to the heart. This month I honestly thought I was finally pregnant. It was my 34th day of my cycle (my cycle usually only lasts between 28-32 days) and my heart shattered when I saw that BFN. The first few months I kept telling myself not to worry and that it'll happen, but as each months passes I get more worried.

What makes it worse is that my friends don't have any kids, and aren't TTC. When I bring up my heartache and fears they just tell me the same thing everyone else does. "Just have lots of sex!!" or "Just stop thinking about it and it'll happen!" Or they say "I'll never see you when you have kids!!!" I know the last one is them just kidding, but it doesn't help. None of it does, because I've tried everything. I've taken Ovulation tests, and during my peak my husband and I tried 2 and 3 times a day. One month we had sex every single day until my period. Another month we tried every other day until my period. I've taken prenatal vitamins, and even tried a pillow under my hips and legs in the air. The next step is making an appointment with my doctor, which I am doing today.

I guess I'm writing here, because I feel so completely alone. As I said early anytime I open up about my emotions to friends it's brushed off, and I start to feel like I just complain too much. My husband tries to comfort me the best he knows how. He'll tell me we'll keep trying and wont give up. He's seen how being told "not to worry" only makes me shut down and worry internally, so luckily he will not say that. He lets me vent my fears and frustrations, which I love him dearly for. I just... Needed somewhere I can finally vent without feeling guilty or like a burden.

 

[zoe2010]

I am so sorry you are going through this I am just now beginning my journey of trying for a baby so I personally don't understand the struggle, but it breaks my heart to hear other girls stories. Hang in there girl!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Hi and welcome to Bnb!


So sorry you're going through this. I have everything crossed for you

 

[Dreamer_8604]

Thank you! I'll send a few prayers that you'll conceive quickly!

 

[Dreamer_8604]

Thank you! That means a lot!

 

[Ragnhild]

Hi dreamer_8604,

I'm a new member like you and i joined just yesterday as I feel alone in my struggle too. All my friends are either older and already have kids, or are really focused on their careers and never even mention ttc so even I don't bring it up. We are ltttc although I have vaginismus so my struggle isn't the same as yours. Without any support, I feel I constantly take out my frustrations on oh. He has been nothing but amazing but I feel it's time for me to play my part instead of just being the constant victim. I chart like crazy, symptom spot and cry every month when af shows up. I really feel your pain and hope you get some results, or at least some answers when you meet the doctor. Fx and lots of

 

[2ducks]

Hello! I know I am no longer TTC#1 but I wanted to drop a quick response to you. When I was ttc I spent most of my time on this (TTC#1) board and loved it! It is a great way to get support from those who are also trying for their first. I did not tell friends about my struggles, because I got the same responses as you.

I am currently expecting my first band it took 15 months and medication. Here are some suggestions for you...

Get a basal body thermometer and start temping and charting with Fertility Friend. You can also input your ovulation predictor kit information as well. If you want to know how to temp than just google it, there are tons of great resources that will come up. A lot of women don't like the hassle of charting but your charts will provide data that will be helpful for you and your doc, it will show if you are in fact ovulating and if there are any issues with ovulation like short luteal phase. Since my charts confirmed that I was not ovulating my doc started more testing sooner, if I didn't have the charts she would have wanted me to wait longer so it was worth it for sure. I also recommend getting a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. You can check it out from your library or get a cheap used older edition from Amazon. At first I checked it out from the library but then liked it so much I bought a brand new edition! This book will really help you learn to track your fertility signs. Also, it took a few months for me to learn that positive ovulation predictor tests don't confirm ovulation, your body can sometimes have LH surges for other reasons. AND make sure to wait 24 hours between sex so your husbands spermies have a chance to build up again. Good luck and hang out on this board! You are not alone and will find great support!

 

[Dreamer_8604]

Thank you all for your kind words! I'll give Fertility Friend a try!

 

[LuBru]

Dreamer_8604 I know you posted a few weeks ago, but just wanted to share that I completely understand your emotional struggle. 2ducks gives a great suggestion with "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" - I second that. Also come on here and post about your experiences!! Good luck...it can be a hard journey but there are many others in the same boat. It also helps me to read success stories and know that the odds are IN our favor!!

 

[QueenCheshire]

You are definitely not alone! I do know how it feels though. Hubby and I have been trying for a year now (I'm about to be 31 and he's 33) and no luck.

My Hubby even has a friend who's wife got pregnant right away and she wasn't actively trying but she wasn't stopping it either...she kind of wasn't sure if she wanted a baby. It took all I had in me to go to her baby shower and be excited after she had the baby. She even had a girl (even though she wanted a boy) and that's what I am hoping for first. But what do you say? All you can do is be happy for them.

I have an appointment at the end of this month to speak to OB on what the next step is. I know I need to lose some weight for starters. A few months ago I did have some blood work done and Hubby had a SA and everything came back normal (my thyroid levels were slightly elevated but not by much) so really so far there's no reason why I haven't gotten pregnant yet, other than it's just not my time yet.

Oh the frustration!

 

[SLevin88]

I feel ya girl. We've been trying for 2 years with no luck, and every month with no BFP makes me want to hide in a sheet fort under my kitchen table and grumpily drink 5 Starbucks frappuccinos and not even care how many calories I'm consuming Haha

I recently started an online journal, and I wrote something that maybe you can relate to:

"For those of you with friends, relatives, acquaintances, or even enemies who are struggling to have a child, please know that this is both an extremely painful and incredibly enlightening process. It’s both infuriating and very educational. It has changed my entire person, in both bad ways and good ways.

It’s also an exhausting journey that comes with some serious baggage. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been trying for a month, six months, or six years, the pain is still the same. Couples going through any kind of infertility (and I do mean couples – it’s not just women who struggle with feelings of inadequacy when trying to conceive) feel a non-stop rollercoaster of emotions. This can range anywhere from sadness, despair, doubt, frustration, anxiety, grief, sorrow, anger, fury, jealousy, spite, greed, and confusion to the ultimate form of faith, trust, elation, peace, enlightenment, comprehension, joy, appreciation, gratitude, camaraderie, and a deep sense of self.

Sometimes you feel all those crazy emotions in one day.

Struggling to have a child is like building a rocket ship without instructions, expert assistance, or even basic parts, for some people. Most of the assembly is confusing and frustrating; it can seem daunting and futile. But in the end, you get to go to the moon…so it’s all worth it."

I wanted to post the rest of it, but the site won't let me Haha Message me if you want to read the rest of it, or if you need to vent some more!

You're definitely not alone!

 

[LuBru]

Awww SLevin88...love what you wrote! Thanks for sharing!!!

 

[SLevin88]

Thanks so much LuBru! Journaling through some of this has really helped. We're all in this together girl

 

[BSN2MOM]

Welcome newbies and you're NOT ALONE! DH and I are TTC #1 since August 2016 which isn't very long in the big scheme of things, but in the mean time 2 family members have announced pregnancies and THAT has been very difficult. My mom & dad know we're trying but DH hasn't told his parents (I don't want to tell them but he could if he wanted to) so they still make incredibly difficult comments from time to time, some that have actually made me have to leave the room to collect myself again. None made in mean spirits but if they only knew what it felt like... I know my parents had issues (I'm an only child) so they know the struggle and the disappointment, but no one in my husbands family has had difficulties getting pregnant (which I found incredibly difficult to believe at first). I had a BFN when AF showed up this month but I am finding myself rather excited for February... all you can do is go forward! I hope this site helps you through this crazy journey!

 

[MissYogi]

Hi! I know how I you feel about being alone in it. I have been trying since July 2016, and have had one mc and one or maybe 2 chemicals. The day I began to mc in September my friend who know we were trying called me and asked "so are you pregnant yet?" She was trying to be funny and supportive, it just couldn't have come at a worse time and made me feel very isolated. The whole process is really frustrating but this forum is a great place to get support. You aren't alone!