Newbie here!

[Ashley6912]

It hit me today that I need to find a safe and open place to vent my fears and angers. I dont know if im posting this in the right place since i've never used a forum.
Hubby and I have been actively trying now for almost 3 years with no luck. (not to mention the 4 years we dated and never used protection - guess we just thought we were lucky and never considered there may be a problem) Our insurance doesn't cover anything related to fertility issues so were on our own. We did have him tested and apparently, I'm the problem. What problem that is, IDK.
I'm just getting more and more depressed seeing everyone around me getting pregnant and spewing the good news all over every social network i have.
Im sick of being jealous of people, i'm sick of being sad and hiding myself away from friends who have kids or family members who harp on us for not having any yet.
Im tired of being so tired and stressed from only being able to think about getting pregnant.
Its changing me into a person I don't know and don't like.
Im sick of hearing people who don't understand what i'm going through tell me "It'll happen when its supposed to", "everything happens for a reason", "stop focusing on it so much, just let it happen", "try praying", or my personal favorite.... "I know its hard, but it'll happen"... UM, nope you really don't know how hard it is!
I dont want to complain anymore or talk about it anymore to my friends or family, i feel like they are sick of hearing about it or i make them feel uncomfortable because they don't know what to say or do.
The hardest part for me is not knowing why. Maybe at least if i was diagnosed with something, or actually knew there was something wrong with me, maybe it would help ease my mind just a bit. I know it would still eat away at me inside, but there would be a reason, a real reason. Not just, well, I don't know why I cant get pregnant, I don't know why i haven't gotten pregnant yet.

I've charted, tested, and pee'd on more sticks than I care to admit! But thats all i can do at this point.

Yea I know, some of you may think, well if you cant afford to have the tests done then how would you afford a baby... but money doesn't raise a baby, i wasn't born because my parents had the money, i was born because they were in love and wanted a family of their own. And its not like we live in a refrigerator box or anything, its just that we live paycheck to paycheck with a little extra thanks to my amazing saving and budgeting skills

I guess I just wasnt sure where else to turn to, to get this off my chest. No one else i know has gone through this. And even though my hubby is amazing, there is no way for him to truly understand how every month it effects me the way it does. Its not his body that is failing him, its not him that is failing the family, its not his mind being tortured.

 

[Angel022605]

First off, welcome. Have you been to your OBGYN? They can do testing there in office to see what's going on. They can do blood work and check your hormones and thyroid. Also they can do an ultrasound and check for endometriosis or fibroids. As far as charting you can do other things like elevate your hips for 30 mins-1 hr after sex to help speed move along. There's also blood work your OBGYN can do on cd 3 and 22 to see if you're truly ovualting. The medication(which is cheap) called Clomid can help. My OBGYN told me to have sex every day to every other day from cd 10-21so you hit all your bases. If you haven't tried already I would try using OPK and BBT. I too understand what you're going through. All my friends get preg and now my sis has a 9 month old. It's so very frustrating when everyone else does get preg and you feel like being left in the dust. I hope all I've said has helped you. Let me know if I can offer you anything else.

 

[FBananie2424]

Hi Ashley! I know all to well how you are feeling. I am going through all of the same feelings, thoughts, disappointments, aggravation, tears etc. I'm 28, hubby is 31. We've been trying for 13 months now. I could use someone to talk to and share frustrations. Someone who knows how it feels. I myself and tired of venting to family and hearing "just be patient, it will happen when its supposed to, stop trying and it will happen when you least expect it". I need a friend! Would you like to email?

 

[Ashley6912]

Thanks ladies. I am apparently making myself sick now over my emotions. I'd love to have a buddy FBananie2424

 

[FBananie2424]

I'm trying to figure out how to send you my email address but its not allowing me to. Lets try this. my email is Franniec998 the at symbol and its gmail. Try sending me an email see if it goes through