Newborn fusses every waking moment

[Livvy]

My little boy is 12 days old and always fussing if he's awake. Anyone have any experience with this? I'm hoping it's just a phase but it's so frustrating. He doesn't seem super gassy or anything, just angry at life haha. Please tell me it gets better!

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Congratulations on your new little guy!!

Big hugs--the first few weeks can be so hard. Just remember that everything is new to him, and it takes a lot of time to get acclimated to the world. Some people refer to the first three months after birth as "the fourth trimester." As a brand new little human, he's dealing with a lot, and learning so many new things all the time. It will get better, and it will get easier (for both of you!!) In the meantime, snuggle him lots, try different things like maybe wearing him to calm him, sleep when you can, and trust your gut. His fussiness is probably just normal getting used to the world, and maybe he has super high needs right now. And if you ever feel like it becomes something more, or you need some help, never hesitate to ask. : ) Hang in there, mama--you're doing great!!

 

[mummyruston]

My DD was exactly the same - I was always second guessing whether I was doing the right thing, but I used to just nurse her or baby wear her to reassure her etc and kinda figured she's new to the world and all the colours and noises etc could be scary.

MY DD is now 3.5, very independent and condiment and has been since 18m old really when she'd toddle off in play groups and wouldn't think twice where's mummy as she knows I'm always there for her.

As PP ^^ says he's so tiny still and wants reassurance. I also remember (when DD wasn't being held or babyweared etc that I'd Pop her in her basket underneath my top from the day before - so she'd be close to me etc and could smell me (worked wonders when I grabbed a shower etc!)

Does he fuss when you hold him or just when you pop him down? X

 

[MollyNorwood]

Congratulations on your baby!
As the other posters have said already- this new world can be a scary place for a newborn! A maternal child nurse said once to me that humans need another trimester really, babies don't start adapting to 'outside life' until they are 3 or 4 months old. TOTALLY true. my daughter SCREAMED high pitch very loud in pain type of scream for 5-6 hours each time. So bad she has an umbilical hernia now because of it. Didn't help that she had reflux as well as being new!
BUT at 3 months of age it was like someone flicked a light switch- calmer baby who started sleeping through the night! All I could think of were the nurse's words.
It is soooo hard to keep positive that you are in fact doing the right thing. Count the minutes if that helps hun because sometimes thats the only thing that kept me sane!

 

[_Meep_]

It's a phase. Your little boy probably feels somewhat like you or I would feel upon being plunged into an ice age or apocalypse - everything he knows has gone. It's a new and scary world for him.

He will adapt and learn to exist on the outside, and you will learn to live with him. Those feelings of nostalgia and maybe even sadness for your 'old' life will fade, and you will be able to embrace your new 'normal'. Your little boy will become so very amazing. In just a few months, you will be be blown away by the little person he has become, even if right now you might feel like you couldn't possibly love him any more than you do!

Stick with him. You are his closest, best, most important friend, and the one who is going to see him to the other side. He doesn't know any other way of expressing himself yet, except by crying, but he has lived, listened and slept to the sound of your heart all his life and he loves you.

Your instinct will let you know if he's in pain or not. That cry is like no other - it makes you feel beside yourself. Otherwise, all you can do is hold him close and be there for him. It will pass. His smiles will come in time. His laughter. Cuddles for you. Little games where he will hide his face and then pop up with a cheeky grin, thinking he's really surprised you! The newborn stage is all about survival, for mum and for baby. But gradually it gets SO much better. You're doing great.

 

[Livvy]

Thank you ladies your words are very encouraging to this overwhelmed new mommy!

Mummyruston - he fusses even when I hold him, which is the most frustrating bit. I wouldn't mind wearing him all the time if he seemed to like it. If he's sleepy I can wear him and he'll fall asleep, but if he's awake nothing seems to work to placate him.

 

[ElizabethK_]

Congratulations on you baby!!!

Well newborns can be fussy for no reason at all some times, but it doesn't hurt to investigate. You say he's not gassy so maybe that's the problem? Some toots are normal to hear from a baby so if he isn't tooting at all then maybe he's in pain from that. Try massaging his belly and see what happens!

Also consider reflux. Notice what he does when he feeds. Is he calm? Does he push away and then re-latch? Does he bring up any milk? Does he get lots of hiccups? See if he's comfy after eating. Does he seem satisfied or does he cry and fuss again?

Hmm..what else.... Oh! Does he poop regularly?

In general while you're staring at your beautiful baby try to also notice his reactions and what could be happening.