Newborn won't stay sleeping at bedtime

[wannabemamaz]

Hey everybody,

I am a FTM to a 2 week old baby boy.. Everything is new to me and I am learning as I go! We aren't in any schedule yet and he is BFing on demand (every 1-3 hours and sometimes as long as 4 at night). Around 9-930 I take him upstairs to get ready for bed. I can get him all ready and fed and relaxed with his eyes closed.. I can get him into his bed and he stays relaxed for up to 10 minutes before he wakes up crying. I pick him up and try to comfort him (which usually ends up with me feeding him a few times as he will be rooting around).. I have the lights dimmed and talk to him in a quiet voice and sing to him as well. This process takes 1-2 hours until he actually falls asleep. I am so impatient and upset by the time he finally gets down successfully that I am usually in tears. Throughout the day he also has a hard time settling after most feeds.

I have no idea what to do at this point.. I am so stressed out in the day leading up to bedtime now.

Does anyone have any ideas or tips for getting him down? Once he is down for the first time we have no issues settling for the rest of the night until around 6am he starts protesting again. I know we will get over it but I am so stressed about it. I would love him to get on more of a schedule but not sure how to do that.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Larkspur]

This is really normal. Some babies just have a hard time settling. It will get better of its own accord.

I would suggest just trying to have a mindset change. Tell yourself that it's going to take a while and make sure you are equipped - not hungry, not thirsty, been to the toilet. Maybe take your phone so you have something to read. Make sure your chair is comfy. Removing all these stressors will put you in a better frame of mind, and you may well find baby drops off faster because you are calmer.

 

[stripeycat5]

This is normal I'm afraid. Like pp try to stay as calm as you can as bubba will pick up on it otherwise. Keep on doing what you are doing as a loose routine. Stay quiet at bedtime, change him into some pjs and if keeps on wanting food just keep on feeding him until he settles. It will get easier the more repetitive the routine the better. Have you tried white noise at all to settle him once he is in his bed? My daughter feeds a lot in the evening and it can take her a while to settle but the payoff is a longer stretch of sleep. It will get so much easier and just keep on thinking this is a such a small stretch of time in the grand scheme of things x

 

[ButterCup17]

I'm impressed he's sleeping so many hours in a row at night! What about wearing him during the day or Co sleeping at night? My ds wouldn't sleep without me that young so once I caved and coslept it was ugh better! Then he was in his crib successfully by his one month bday

 

[staralfur]

Agree with the other ladies, totally normal. Most babies don't adapt easily to schedules at 2 weeks old.

Best thing you can do is sleep during the day when he's napping so that you're not as tired at bedtime, and then just accept the fact that it's going to take some time. Most babies aren't born knowing how to fall/stay asleep, he's going to need some time to figure it out, and you're going to need some time to figure out how to help him.

We started cosleeping at 2 weeks and it was the best decision I ever made. Fighting your baby to sleep is a lot less stressful when you're at least laying down and know you can doze off in between wake ups and feeds.

Alternatively, you could sit yourself and your LO on the sofa around bed time and just bunker down and watch TV for a few hours until you think he's ready to settle for the night. That way you're not completely focused on getting him to sleep.

 

[Insomniash]

I have a two week old baby boy too, and I totally understand what you are going through. We are transitioning from formula feeding to breast feeding (the NICU had him on formula and wouldn't let me breastfeed). I had a several days where I was in tears and freaking out because of how frequently he has been feeding. I also had so many people telling me not to cave and feed because he was just using me as a soother. I didn't feel right about that and I am now feeding on demand, and honestly now I feel happiest when I am feeding him so it is truly a shift in attitude. He is sound asleep right now and although I won't wake him I am looking forward to him waking up and feeding. What led to my change in attitude is that first I keep thinking that this phase won't last forever, and secondly if instinct is telling him that he needs to feed that often then I am here to accommodate. I hope things start looking up for you soon, take care.

 

[LovemyBubx]

My DS has just started being happy to fall asleep in his crib.
Have you tried swaddling him giving him a cuddle then putting him down so hes just as warm?

It is very frustrating when your so exhausted & your still trying to figure things out. I think newborns just want mummy! it does get better xxx

 

[Taurus8484]

The first 3 months are hard at bedtime. It does get better. Hang in there and keep telling yourself its not forever xx

 

[Rainbow82]

My two week old is the same about settling, what works for is putting him down in the Moses basket in the living room with us, the noise of the tv and us talking helps him settle, he wakes at 9:30 for a feed and we take him to the bedroom with us at about 11. He wakes at about 12 for a feed and takes about 4oz of expressed milk and settles straight away till 4. Try not to get stressed unfortunately with still needing round the clock feeding it's not too easy to get a newborn into a routine as such. Something else that helps is when he wakes for his 4am is a dream sheep we bought which has a nice soft reddish light he likes and heartbeat and vacuum sounds. Caleb really likes the vacuum sound.

 

[Button#]

I hold LO for 20 minutes after she's fallen asleep before putting her in her crib to make sure she's in deep sleep.

It's too early for a schedule and even once they're older it works best if they set the schedule rather than trying to get them to fit into one.

The best advice I can give you is to try not to stress about sleep and just accept that this is how it is for now. There's not a lot you can do to help them sleep besides providing a restful room and making sure they're fed. It's something they'll get to in their own time and it can drive you mad trying to figure out the answer.